Because I’m thrilled that Mrs. ACW doesn’t look with scorn upon the Wii, the only video game system I’m aware of to have accomplished that feat, I am constantly encouraged to buy more games and accessories for our Wiiner.
So we bought Guitar Hero.
This has introduced a number of interesting behaviors that I’m sure will become full-blown OCD tendencies in no time.
1) It is impossible for me to not rock out while I am playing. I’m constantly dancing around and bopping along with the music, even if it’s The (remarkably shitty) Killers and the horrendous douchebag among douchebags, Brandon Flowers, he of the “ironic” pedophile mustache, is singing. I’m glad I got five stars on that song, because I’d hate to have to play it again. Seriously, does he realize that when he sings he sounds like a whiny baby with a poopy diaper? What a knob. If I have one wish it’s that The Killers and Fallout Boy eventually get into a rumble and they all die.
2) It is impossible for me to not drink while I am playing. Granted, I’ve only played twice so far, but finishing each song to take a swig from that fantastic, long-necked, brown-glass teat of diminishing fine-motor skills is about as close as I’ve come to paradise. I only wish that I could play and drink at the same time, sort of using the bottle like a slide guitar, but I’m not that good yet. And the game doesn’t really work that way. And I would probably break something. Shut up.
3) I have yet to master the “Star Power” usage. On the 360 it seemed to be a lot easier. Just pop the guitar neck up a little bit and viola: star power. With the Wii it can get a little temperamental, so the chance of you seeing me successfully execute star power is lesser than the chance of you seeing me successfully jerk the controller up and down like I’m some sort of spastic freak living in a fantasy world of tiny guitars that are attacking me for some reason and I’m trying to kill them. Also, I’ve yet to successfully pull off a star power activation combined with a Pete Townshend-esque guitar move, so until that day comes, I’m going to keep jumping and swinging my arm until I wind up hurting myself, which is the most likely outcome.
4) This is probably the worst one of all. Now that I’ve played a video game about playing a guitar, I totally feel like I can hang with people who actually know how to play guitar and talk about hammer ons, pull offs, harmonics, and fingering techniques. Double entendres aside, that is, which is what I would normally talk about if I heard those terms.
5) The best thing about Guitar Hero is that I can finally put into practice all the awesome band names that I’ve ever come up with. Seriously, I’m a band-naming machine. Need a band name? Just call me, I’ll do it for cheap. Ready? Here are 10 off the top of my head:
The Crap Monkeys
Flinger
The Gravymaker Express
The Rooster Pothole
Disco School
Satan’s Daycare
Forget the Alamo!
Windsock
Dreampickles
A Bucket Full of Pudding
Guitar Hero is the shit, drunk or sober. No one thinks my band named “Dead Kittens” is as funny as I do though. I recommend picking up the new Mario Kart for even more fun times. Mrs. ACW might like using the Wii Wheel.
D - 113 Days!
http://xkcd.com/132/
Effing Guitar hero! I got this 11 y.o. boy out at my riding stable, whom I’ve dubbed “Rock n’ Roll” he’s a guitar hero FREAK gets like a million points jamming out to Boston songs, or whatever.
…its all he talks about. Is Anonymous Coworker going to become now in its twilight, a record of your best scores on The Scopions Greatest hits? I sincerly hope not.
For star power Break Boy and I just tilt the guitars straight up… once we’re at a point where we can take the moment to do that. Then we leave them straight up until we have a chance to lower.
As long as you don’t start listening to Dream Theater and Joe Satriani, everything will be okay.
Antonio- I’m thinking that might be our next game (and probably final game for a while).
SoG- Yeah, but it’s too bad a chunk of the music sucks. “Barracuda” by Heart? Yeah, no thanks.
missmargo- My sister-in-law and brother-in-law are both Guitar Hero super-freaks. I’ve never seen anyone fake shred like they do.
Poppy- I’ll have to try that. Right now it’s just me moving the guitar around and effing up on a huge string of notes.
Jon- Joe Satriani is a GOD and you will worship him the way he deserves to be worshiped: At the First Church of Vai, covered in sacred Malmsteen.
Oh yeah, if the button layout of the Wii guitar is like the PS2’s, you can also activate Star Power by hitting the round button close to the strum bar. It’s easier to activate that way in my opinion.
I can totally identify with you on the “finish a song, take a swig” thing, although since I don’t own Guitar Hero (or a Wii), my pre-swig activity is completing a golf swing on Mario Golf (for Gamecube). That’s a REALLY quick way to get plastered (by accident of course).
****Takes Break from Playing her Wii*********
Dood—I’ve had both Guitar Hero and Rockband for quite awhile now. You see, our house is a full on geek house–complete with two XBoxes (a 360 and a regular one in the kids room) a game cube, Wii and a playstation 2. (the Playstation 3 will be an Xmas purchase because of the Blueray and the silent Hill that is coming out for it)
Imagine having all your neighbors in your house drunk off their ass,playing rockband. It’s a helluva hoot–a Great fucking game to play while drinking and with friends. I imagine that the Wii is as well…I’ll probably find that out this weekend, as a few friends have already said they are going to invade our home and play Wii Sports.
Good thing i made the kid clean the house…ehehhehehehehe.
BWAHAHHAHHAHAHHA!
Joe Satriani is a GOD and you will worship him the way he deserves to be worshiped: At the First Church of Vai, covered in sacred Malmsteen.
1. I no longer feel like a dork because I know Ywingie Malmsteen songs by heart.
2. and you couldn’t have said it better then myself.
3. You fit right in in that neighborhood of yours, don’t you?
You know what’s even better than Guitar Hero?
ROCK BAND.
now that you know that full awesomeness that is playing guitar hero whilst drinking, i’m sad that you could never make it out to one of our guitar hero nights at fletcher’s. and if you think the boy and i fake shred like heroes, you should see marcus. he shames everyone with his 1337 skills.
Okay, I’m not trying to be all douchey & self-promoting, but there’s a scene in my book where the characters are talking about possible band names for the ‘bands that could have been’, blah-blah. I stole them all from my husband and his friends. “Flesh Pendullum” is the first one that springs to mind. Also, “Armed and Hammered.”
But I particularly like “Dreampickles” and “Forget the Alamo!”
I’m calling dibs on Radiant Hell and Sharp Pointy Thingz and I Peed in the Gene Pool.
I only wish that I could play and drink at the same time, sort of using the bottle like a slide guitar, but I’m not that good yet.
You could always get one of those stupid hats w/the straw, and holders on each side…perhaps not the look you are going for…but it would fill your need for beer and Wii…
Every time I see this my mind gets blown:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ni1dV7gDaMo
Must agree w/ Silver Turtle on this one. Rock Band makes you feel like a pansy for playing Guitar Hero, especially when you’re the drummer because you get to hit things in unison with 3 other blokes.
If you ever need a dictionary for your Disco School, I’ve got you covered. (Yes, i STILL have it!) Coincidentally enough, in packing up my room before moving out I discovered that I also still have my Flinger! It’s the toss-able mutation!
Band name: “The Middle Flinger”
Just thought it up! Just now! Totally did! SO totally DID!!!