What I can empathize with you on is what is happening to your grandmother. My boyfriend’s grandmother passed away last month and his great grandmother- her mother- doesn’t even know. She’s 105 and they opted not to tell her that her last child passed away. It’s terribly sad. She asks about her everyday, then forgets asking and assumes she’s in the next room of the home they lived in together.

Who’s to say what’s right or wrong in situations like these. Sometimes we don’t get to choose what we remember or forget. And maybe THAT is harder for those who remember still.

With regard to caskets, NEVER EVER purchase a casket that seals. You’re absolutely correct: unless we’ve been creamated, we all decompose. That’s what is supposed to happen. Hermetically sealed caskets, however, promote anaerobic decomposition, which allows the build up of noxious gases within the casket. Eventually, these explode, sometimes destroying the casket. The explosions can even be heard above ground, in some cases. Not to mention the soupy toxic mess that the body becomes in these cases. It’s just another way for the funeral industry to make a big buck at the expense of disoriented and grieving people.

I’m glad your mom and her sisters had you there to guide them through this and offer them the voice of reason.

If yu want to read a relatively amusing Shit Story, go visit my blog (http://luluslibretto.blogspot.com). It’s nowhere as good as your toilet anecdotes, but it might make you smile.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

If it’s any consolation at all, despite what your grandmother is going through - she is only learning of his death once. She won’t remember the others. Death is hardest on the living and those we leave behind. May you find strength in your family and your loved ones in the days to come.

Found out a two year later that the funeral home we used was one of a few illegally selling cadavars to this one company by falisifying the families signatures. It was investigated on 20/20. We are still waiting to find out if my brother was sold.

While I have no experience with Alzheimers, I do remember vividly my encounter with the funeral industry after the death of my mother when I was 20. It is a great thing that you and your brothers are there to help.

As for the religious aspect, I truly believe that this is not the way things were meant to be. The Bible explains much of the world’s problems as a result of our rebellion against God. When Jesus was here, the New Testament shows that much of His ministry was healing people, and He openly wept for our pain. He also said that when the time was right, He will come back and fix it.

Say what you will of my belief, but it gives me and millions of other people hope. I have seen the changes that that hope has made in people’s lives. Please don’t get me wrong - I agree that the living nightmare your grandmother is going through is horrible. Your question is a very common and valid one, and I just wanted to at least give you the short answer.

I was very sorry to read about your loss.

My grandmother was suffering from the onset of alzheimers when my grandfather died. She had also been not quite deaf as a stone for twenty years prior. The situation became worse in the three years between his death and hers, when the only people she recognized were my dad and my uncle, and she couldn’t understand where her husband was, or who I or my sister were.

Both my grandparents were embalmed. They didn’t look like themselves at all. Personally, I’m fond of cremation.

I can hardly imagine anything more wrenching than your grandmother’s situation - for her and for those around her. It sounds like the 9th circle of hell, except there’s no moral to the story. Well, maybe “don’t get old?” I’m truly sorry for your family - how awful, how painful. My sympathies to all of you.

I’ve been thinking about you… I hope your Grandmother is okay.