I’ve been evicted from my office today. We have a ton of people interviewing for some new positions, and we ran out of conference rooms, empty offices, and lobby spaces, so I’m sharing an office with my boss for the time being. I’m not exactly sure where I’ll be throughout the day, but I don’t think I have to explain that typing on a shared laptop in an office shared with your boss does not exactly provide the same level of anonymity as typing at one’s own desk with the monitor facing away from the door to the office.
Despite these setbacks, I’ve composed this entry in Word and when I have a second will copy and paste it to the intertubes.
I have a feeling that posts for Wednesday are going to become “movie review” type posts because Mrs. ACW leaves for class at about 6:15pm and doesn’t get home until about 10pm. That usually gives me time to watch about two movies. Three if they’re all short, and if I’m efficient with channel flipping and dvd swapping.
Last night I tried to watch 3 movies, but the first movie was so boring I couldn’t help but stop watching it. And if you read last week about my OCD around movies you’ll know that this means the movie must be really really really really boring and/or bad. This week I tried to watch “The Return” featuring Sarah Michelle Gellar, but after about 30 minutes when nothing had happened, I just turned it off in favor of my Netflixed dvd of The Avengers. And let me tell you something- the Avengers sucked. I’m not sure whose idea it was to have two people with British accents banter back and forth and occaisionally swap relatively not unfunny puns, punctuating the dialogue every thirty minutes or so with a stingy dose of action, but that person should be dragged through a swimming pool of peanut butter and thrown to grizzly bears.
Lucky for me Cinemax was showing A History of Violence, so I was able to watch SOMETHING that was good. So good, in fact, that when Mrs. ACW walked in the door during the last 5 minutes of the movie, the douchebag Sherlock decided to scamper out the front door and hide under the neighbor’s porch. Thanks a lot, fucker! So instead of lounging on the couch and watching the conclusion to an exciting movie, I was shoulder deep in 200 years of leaf detritus trying to get a hold of the walking shit factory.
I made it back inside just in time to see the credits rolling! Argh! You have no idea how crazy this makes someone like me. I can’t function. It’s like someone switched the prescription on my glasses without telling me, and I just have to deal with it. Add to that the fact that I don’t even have my own computer to work on today, and thus can’t search the internets for the final scene, and you’ll realize that I’m starting to mentally unravel at the seams.
Don’t be surprised if posts for the rest of this week amount to nothing more than, “Teddy bear want my bear teddy bear bear blanket where’s my bear blanket teaddy bear blanket bear teddy bear picnic tea party teddy bear picnic bear blanket satan bear blanket teddy satan bear ba’al teddy Beelzebub satan satan Lucifer bear hail satan satan sacrifice human sacrifice hail satan kill eat souls rend this world in twain and banish all souls to eternal torment and strife when a black icy wave of abysmal darkness envelops this plane of existence and expels all but hatred from the hearts of men teddy bear.”
I challenge you, as an obvious fan of all movies, to watch Dogville with Nicole Kidmahn if you have not already. If you can withstand the tortue of some of the most mind numbing boring shit to ever destroy 3 hours of your life, the ending made it all worthwhile for me. It truly is an endurance test though that damn near caused me to fucking cry as I prayed that it rould one day end.
only if i can haz n00d scenez!
why don’t you have dvr? it’s like $10 a month, and you could have paused that shit till you were safely back on the couch.
just sayin.
Actually I heard that that’s how the movie ends: teddy bears and summoning satan and all that good stuff. Bit of a twist ending, I know, but pretty satisfying I hear. Ving Rames appears as the teddy bear and Steve Buscemi as satan.
I didn’t mind The Return. It was slow going & not too terribly exciting, but not as horrible as I thought it would be. The Avengers, however, was a HUGE disappointment.
I just saw “A History of Violence”! The last five minutes? I can give you quick sum up…
Snape kills Dumbledore, because apparently Snape is a homophobe. Then Viggo Mortensen’s character, Tom, reveals that his real name is not “Tom,” or “Joey” (as Ed Harris’ half-blind scarred guy keeps insisting–it turns out he had a head injury and thinks everyone is “Joey”, referring to singer/dancer/actress Joey Heatherton). Viggo’s character is, in fact, the enigmatic “Lulu Von Der Groot” and he and Snape are first cousins.
In the very final scene, it is revealed that Lulu and Snape are also Masons and take their marching orders from a Secret Order that has commanded Tom/Joey/Lulu to once again have wild monkey sex on the steps with Maria Bello’s character, which is something we can all be grateful for, regardless of orientation.