Because I already hated having to put a post saying I was going to make an announcement, and because it drives me absolutely kitten-punchingly bonkers when people bury their announcement in a mountain of indecipherable, sophomoric prose and put the most important piece of information at the end of the post, forcing you to wade through metaphors so forced that if you used the same force to pass a toilet baby you’d give yourself an aneurysm, I’m giving you my announcement up front:
August 27th, 2008, will be the last time this blog is updated. And just to be absolutely clear, I’m not transferring domain names, I’m not starting this blog somewhere else, I’m not doing anything. This blog will be done. There will be no more posts or updates, and once the domain expires, it’ll be gone forever.
Sure, if something remarkable happens, like me coming into a ton of money, I’ll of course pop in for one last, “Ha ha suckers, I can buy and sell your asses now,” but that’ll be it. Chances are extremely super-duper strong that this site won’t be updated again after August 27th.
I’ve got my reasons after the jump, but I don’t want anyone to feel compelled to read that garbage, so you can skip along now, if you’d like.
As of 8/27/08 I’ll have been blogging for 4 years, and I’m starting to grow weary of the whole deal. If you look at my stats, it’s clear that this blog has gone through fits and starts, with the lean times reflecting those periods where I didn’t feel like blogging, and the fat times reflecting when I was blogging on a regular basis. I like to think that the fatter times were when I was on top of my game, but it’s not necessarily true. Sometimes it was just because I was putting something up there, and that made me feel worse than the lean times when I thought my blogging was going really well.
At the same time, it’s not really about the site hits at all. It’s been a long time since I had any idea of how many people hit my page per day. I just look at charts and compare. All I notice are trends where things go up and down, or stay even. I like to see it stay even. That means I was doing something right.
I’m also a little tired of putting on the ACW mask every day. I’m really not as obsessed with nog, and poop, and everything else as I let on. At one point the ACW and I were the same person with different names, but over time the ACW evolved into a character unto himself, and it’s getting to the point where it’s difficult to summon his rage at idiotic drivers. Or to find a new way to describe diarrhea. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve enjoyed every minute of writing. I’m just trying to forestall the point where I am getting tired of it. I’d much rather leave the blog in a good place than just let it trickle off into some incomplete project.
It should also be said that many of the posts here are, erm, less than truthful. Almost all of them happened, some of them happened just the way I described, but most of them were embellished at least slightly, if not greatly. The problem is, I’m beginning to have trouble remembering events as they actually occurred, and am instead falsifying my own memories with whatever story I made up to be more entertaining.
Finally, I find it a bit distressing that my primary online persona is anonymous. I’d much rather interact with the internet at a level where I can just be myself and not worry if I was giving away information that could potentially get me dooced.
So, thanks for reading thus far (this post, and the blog in general), I’m looking forward to the next couple of months.
Can I still visit you and Mrs. when I finally make it your way? I would hate to miss out on meeting you, since you’ve been kind enough to let me know more of the real you than you show here.
(I might cry a tear. I’m not kidding.)
ACW: Poppy, don’t worry, we can still meet up when you FINALLY make it down here. ;)
Wait, you’re not obsessed with nog and poop?
ACW: It depends who you’re asking. The ACW is, but I find poop gross, and nog is delicious, but I wouldn’t want to drink only it forever.
After four years, I’d be tired, too.
Maybe you just need a nice, long break to reenergize.
Or not. It’s up to you.
ACW: I wish a long break was all it took, but the breaks in the past have made me want to stop more than they’ve made me want to get back in the saddle.
We are going to miss you! I completely understand why you made that decision, though.
ACW: I’m going to miss everybody too! Thanks for understanding.
Blogging without obligation is a better way to approach. If , say, some years later you happen to get an itch–well, scratch it. Just don’t do it because you feel you have to.
Anyhow, shame. I liked your style of writing even if it wasn’t always true. But, is Anything on on Internet actually really…*ahem* True? We live in a weird world now where the the game of telephone from our youth has sped up so fast that the minute something happens it gets skewed nearly 3 minutes after happening by way of internet rumors. (did that make any sense?)
But, I digress.
Hope that you still lurk and read and comment on other blogs. It would be a real shame that you disappear from the tubes forever.
ACW: The weird thing is, I have been blogging without obligation for about a year now. If I don’t feel like blogging one day, or a few days, or more, I don’t. It’s just starting to feel like it’s time to be done.
Thanks for the compliment. Just because it wasn’t true doesn’t mean that it wasn’t fun to write.
I’ll still be around. I love the internet, and could never leave it all behind.
Whatever, it’s not like anyone ever read your shit anyway.
ACW: Eat a bag of dicks.
Love this site and I’ll miss it. A toast to nog, poop, and necrophelia.
ACW: Thanks! I’ll miss it too. Cheers!
oh way to go,
seems now i’m obligated to shut down my shitty ass site that i never update and am sick of seeing.
great. thanks for that.
dick
(you will be missed)
guess i need to make it to one of those blogger events before you become a non blogger.
ACW: Hey man, I’m not going to tell you what to do with YOUR site. I’m only saying what I would do with MY site. Don’t worry about the events and such, I’ll still be around for that kind of thing. Thanks.
A late arrival to your blog. Sad I missed the first 4 years, but thrilled to be part of the last!
Your whit, humor, and love of Nog shall be missed!
ACW: Hey, better late than never, right? Thanks!
Good for you. Get out while it still feels like your choice and not something that just happened over time.
Also, if you start writing under your real name, drop me a line. Just because I’m a curious bastard.
ACW: Thanks man. I know exactly how you feel about being a curious bastard. If something comes up (don’t hold your breath), I’ll be sure to let you know.
But… however will I know how Wookie & Sherlock are doing? Will you send me the occasional pic? You know how much I adore them!
ACW: Yes, of course. I will send you updates, and I’d be surprised if you didn’t see a question from me from time to time asking things about how to best see to their well-being. :)
What a totally putzy, selfish thing to do. So *what* we dont know precisely know who you are or where you live and therefore cant hide in your bushes and stalk you like some of those dweebs with Bradpittolitis or Brittanagoraphobia or whatever. So you dont feel like a Charles Dickens every single day of your life and dont bathe in nog naked and your memories are getting cloudy. Some of us come to work everyday and suffer the pain of a thousands pins of boredom gorged into our very souls. Many members of the demonic rat race serf the net for a tiny glimmer of lightness and entertainment during the day. Porn isn’t an option for me at work (and im a girl and 30 – so both factors rule out too much interest in that department at this point anyway), and I am always on the look-out for that weird sense of humor that is very hard to come by in the general blogosphere. People generally don’t write naturally and end up making themselves sound totally lifeless, artificial and basically like human doorknobs. You happen to be a completely different ball of wax (and weirdness) which someone like me finds intriguing. Okay, admittedly I didn’t stumble upon your blog until 3 weeks ago, but since then I have been coming here regularly for that special touch of weirdness and actually feeling the inner smile that occurs after reading some of this shit and what can I tell you, there may be hope that all my brain neurons may not entirely fry due to the sheer dullness of the work force by the time I turn 35. But whatever – do you care? Evidently not. You are too busy lamenting your memory and your “evaporating” sense of “art” in your writing. Boo hoo. If you don’t like ACW we will help you find a different persona by which you can mask yourself and therefore not feel too fake. Whatever. Too many GOOD bloggers lately are deciding to quit due to some crummy reasoning like yours and frankly, its starting to piss me off. I need an escape from cnn.com and from my boss – and your stuff is fun stuff. Most people don’t have glitzy ‘TV-like’ careers and sit at a desk all day long, having their brains and butts get flabby. But again, DO YOU CARE? Noooo. Anyway, some of us are definitely NOT going to be respecting your noble spirit of QUITTING. So there. ‘nuff said.
ACW: Liz, wow. I don’t even know where to start with this one. I can only hope that most of this is sarcastic. I really can’t offer you anything more than what I put up in my two blog posts about that, and hope that in the next few months I can keep you entertained long enough for you to forget that I’m quitting. I’m one of those people whose brain and butts are getting flabby too, so I can dig why you’re pissed.
Dickbag.
ACW: Does this mean I lose the “Genius” heading on your blog? Shit.
This just blows. Would really hope that you’d reconsider, but if you don’t have the feeling like you should do it anymore, then we’ll just have to hope that you are able to come up with another place to write that makes you happy. You SHOULD write. If not here, then somewhere. That’s all.
ACW: Thanks very much for the compliment. I’m not sure I’m done with writing, but as you referenced, I can’t do it here forever.
you made liz mad!
i personally can respect this, seeing as i abandoned my blog long ago.
i’ll miss reading your posts, but go on and do what you gotta do.
this announcement was not as exciting as i had hoped though. i was looking for “acw jr” or “acw m-to-f transexual.”
ACW: Yeah, I hope I didn’t really piss Liz off that much. Thanks. And look for the “real” announcement in August. Maybe I’ll shoot for being the world’s first m-to-f-to-m transexual.
Aw, man!
ACW: Hey, you’ll still see me around. And you’d be crazy to think I wouldn’t follow the story of your house projects.
That read rather like the post I wrote when I quit - except I didn’t bother to post mine (instead going the “I’m too busy at work” route). Part of the phantom post:
“Is Bliss me? Sure - I crack the occasional crude joke, I throw back a drink from time to time - but it’s only a small segment of me. Bliss, on the other hand, has evolved into a sex-crazed lush….mostly to the point that I’ve lost the ability to post anything seriously without someone posting a witty retort in the comments - I’m not singling anyone out, and I love comments, but when you get an extremely narrow representation of yourself such that the rest of you essentially gets blocked out (somewhat problematic in a journal, wouldn’t you agree?), then there’s something to raise an eyebrow about . . .”
So I understand 100%+ …
ACW: You get it exactly. Thanks for reading, and for making me look for a camera every time I see a “Savage Bliss” condom machine.
yeah, it was about 3 1/2 years for me when I officially stopped.
but wait…you *embellished*?!?
{faints dead away}
ACW: Yeah, I know, can you believe it? Me? A liar?
I weep.
ACW: The pre-announced ending of a blog based around necrophilia, stupid people, poop, farts, and cats is hardly worth weeping over. But I appreciate the sentiment, thanks.
I embellish. Part of the embellishment is to protect people who have been involved, but also because it’s more fun. I do not promise the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
I have enjoyed getting to know this blog and will miss it when it’s gone.
You are about the fifth person this year to announce a departure. Must be something in the air. Or the water. Probably both.
ACW: The embellishment can be quite fun, but sometimes I just want to tell the truth, and I feel like I can’t. Thanks for the compliment.
YEAH. WHAT LIZ SAID. PRAISE JEEBUS!!
ACW: Thanks? I hope this isn’t setting the stage for my blog comments becoming an old-fashioned snake-handling revival.
Talk of blogicide? Are you sure this isn’t just a cry for help?
ACW: A cry for help? I don’t need help. I’m awesome. Are you sure you didn’t want to say something about me putting on my big girl panties and getting over it?
I just want to say, I called this way back in October… (I’d change my nick back to Alan but that involves deleting cookies, I think, and I like cookies.)
And you resorted to embellishing? I always knew that, between the two of you, Mokie was more honest!
ACW: Of COURSE Mokie was the honest one! I love lying… sometimes. But it’s tough when you want to tell the truth and and everyone assumes that you’re still lying.
I respect the fact that you decided to end this thing on a high note. True, I will be deeply saddened that it will come to an end, but then again, everything else does. I’d much rather have you enjoy the shit out of your last few months, and part with lots of good feelings about all the people you douched here… I mean touched here… you perv…
ANYway… I’d rather see you rock it while it’s hot, and not when it has long expired- like some of these rock bands out there that are nearing their nineties, and can’t do the shit they used to in their prime, you know. Calling it quits when it is good, not pathetic. Dude, you are one funny motherfucker, and of course the embellishments are there- that is what makes it even funnier!
SO- wish I was anywhere near Glen Burnout so I could meet the witty prick who got me busted at my interwebmachine at work, due to incessant tittering and stifled guffaws.
d00d!!!1!11!!eleven! U R TEH 5#!+xorz!!1!!one.
**Lifting big glass of Sam Adams Cherry Wheat in honour of one ACW**
ACW: Matt, thanks. I’ll be on the internets for months yet, and in Glen Burnie for the foreseeable future, so if you’re ever in the area, holla.
Swear to God, ACW, you’re killing me. From whom will I now know which nogs to drink? But if this is the way it must be…so be it. I still heart you and have a raging crush on your wife.
ACW: You’ve met me in for reals life! You can ask me whenever you want about nogs to drink! I think you even have my phone number!
Wait a second here.
So if ACW has evolved into more of a persona than your non-anonymous persona, who’s that dame you keep introducing as Mrs. ACW? Mrs. Nolan across the streets wants her cats back.
I haven’t had egg nog since reading you.
ACW: Erm, she’s the wife of the character of me? I think that’s how that goes. And I’m glad I had no effect on your eggnog consumption.
Geezer: Mokie is NOT more honest.
In fact, they are both lying sacks of shit.
They say they are *psychically* linked, by the way…
(go ahead, let loose with that one)
ACW: We are. You’re just jealous.
Eh. You know my philosophy on things: it’s easy enough to shift an identity, especially one as transient as an online personality, to what you want it to be. You can avoid becoming a parody of yourself, but it means broadening topics, which is something I can understand avoiding in a well-read and commented column.
ACW: Yeah, I knew you would know what I was talking about. We may have even discussed this over beers before. I can’t remember, because sometimes the beers make me forgetful.
zenchick,
You know, it’s only a rearrangement of letters to go from “psychically” linked to “physically” linked. Maybe it was a typo.*
However, I kind of remember reading somewhere of Mokie bragging about his lying abilities. Hence, the more honest attribute.
*Yeah, I know… There’s an extra C. Can you say ringtoss?
ACW: I’m not even sure if I need to respond to this comment, as it’s not directed to me.
Man, as long as we can still drink beers at happy hour, it’s all good with me. Bars are way cooler than the internet anyway.
ACW: I’ve never met a bar I didn’t like. Wait, that’s not true. I’ve met lots that I haven’t liked. But, yeah, we’ll still booze it up. Bars are cooler than the internet.
I totally understand…I blog anonymously as well and when I was single I used to post about my crazy uninhibited days, I probably have three readers left who still care about my exciting drunken trivial pursuit wars with my husband.
ACW: I definitely have to give you props for sticking with it. I just don’t want to run out of energy one day and let everything collapse. Thanks.
I’m ending my public blog in a month, no fanfare, at six years old. So I get what you’re saying, man. You’ll be missed, of course. Savage Bliss forevah!
ACW: Thanks very much for understanding, and for the compliment, you’ll be missed as well. (announcer voice) When the only bliss you want is savage, try Savage Bliss! The pain means it’s working!
Whoa, yesterday I thought this post didn’t allow comments. I’m late to the teary-eyed kudos and goodbyes. As someone who writes about once a month on his life-supported blog, I admire your stamina in writing so well for so long, and your conviction to end it when you feel it’s right.
Anyway, why the August end date? Is that when your domain expires, or, being about 8 months away, will something arrive in your household that will make your life a whole lot busier? ;-)
ACW: Thanks. I appreciate the thought. The wife and I aren’t anywhere close to having babies. The end date is exactly 4 years from when I started blogging.
Your gleefully profane rants brought a smile to my face on many a bleak afternoon of office imprisonment and for this, I thank you. You owe us nothing; but thank you for the laughs.
ACW: Gleefully profane… that’s the new sub-head. Also, thanks, I appreciate the kind words.
boo-hoo *tear*
I’ll enjoy the next few months, and think of you whenever I have a cup o’ tha nog ;)
ACW: Thanks! I’ll think of you whenever I see a lowrider. ;)
awwwwww, and i just found you. well, at least i have a few months to check out the archives!
all the best to you.
ACW: Thanks very much. You’ll have a few months to check out new content too!
Well, poop. It’s been fun while it lasted, I guess.
Does this mean you’ll be blogging under your real name at some later point? How, without benefit of having actually knowing you will one find you again? (Will I want to?)
ACW: It has been fun, and I hope it remains fun for the next 7 months. Not sure what the future will hold, but this blog will end.
Sigh. Jesus. Guess that means I’ll have to ramp up the damn real-life social life again. See you soon!
ACW: Yeah, you have nothing to worry about, and will assuredly see me around town.
Gay. But good for you. Seriously.
ACW: Ha ha ha ha! Thanks.
First The Show, now ACW… *sob*
You’ll be missed, and I’ll enjoy it while it lasts.
ACW: Thanks. I hope I can be as entertaining as Ze was.
I think everyone who has been going a couple for a couple of years now has truly fallen out of love with the whole thing. I know I have, and I keep going purely for the enjoyment of writing than the sense of community and popularity which I used to enjoy just as much.
Meet me for another pint at the College Arms sometime. I’ll book the day off work this time.
ACW: I still enjoy the writing, but I don’t enjoy the character. I’ll see you at the pub.
I just guffawed out loud at ACW’s comment to Old Geezer’s comment back to me (anyone care to diagram that sentence?). I don’t often guffaw out loud at the PC (unless I’m watching YouTube).
Ah, I’ll miss this place. We may have to find a way to return to the all-day lazy IM.
Didn’t you tell us recently that you were going to quit bloggin? I’ll believe it when I see it. Then I’ll weep like a little girl.