Over Thanksgiving weekend Mrs. ACW and I decided that since there was so much to do around the house and for our respective courses, that we should instead do nothing. So we got a plan in our head to head on down to the libary to rent us up some movies.
On the way we managed to persuade Mokie to join us, but it wasn’t really hard because he generally spends his time sitting around doing nothing anyway.
At some point while we were trying to decide what movies to watch (Mallrats and Mean Girls, by the way. Mallrats is a classic, of course. And Mean Girls was actually really funny, and caught Lindsay Lohan at her peak, just before she lost all the weight that made her attractive in the first place, and just before she became a swirling Charybdis of coke-fueled STDs.) I decided that we should drink a flight of beers and do a beer tasting. We had all day, so there’s no reason why we shouldn’t.
So we went to the liquor store to pick up some beers, when I got an even AWESOMER idea: we should do a beer tasting of a flight of shitty beers. The idea was proposed to the group, sent to the Ways and Means committee to determine if funds and livers were in good enough shape to support this endeavor, returned for a vote with a rider attached suggesting that we should also buy a bag of Doritos, and then passed with a unanimous vote of 3 yeas and 0 nays.
In case you can’t tell, that’s Corona, Miller Lite, Becks, Budweiser, MGD, and Colt 45 surrounding Wookie, who is occupying the place in the box that was previously occupied by a 6 of Guinness. Hey, we had to buy SOMETHING that was actually worth drinking.
Through a complicated system of pouring beers so that no one knew what they were drinking, we eventually got all the beers into glasses, ready to be consumed.
In case you can’t tell, that last one says, “URINE SPECIMEN BOTTLE”. It’s okay though, it’s sterilized. Yes, I’m sure. I’m absolutely sure. I own an autoclave, okay? Don’t ask.
I think we’ve since lost the list that says exactly who guessed correctly or incorrectly about which beer was which, but I do remember a few things:
-Becks tastes like a skunk took a dump in a bucket of piss
-Mokie and Mrs. ACW are apparently incapable of distinguishing Colt 45 from Miller Lite
-All shitty beers have the same color and consistency
-I guessed all the beers correctly! I am the king of shitty beer!
