Hey, okay, first of all, don’t forget about the happy hour tonight. It’s gonna be superawesomefantastic! With a side of greatgoodjustokay! And a dash of nicealrightiguesssortoffun! And everybody gets a free blowjob from Jwer’s mom! Just like every day except you don’t have to hear her whine for bus fare home.
Anyway, I’ve been taking lots of pictures lately, and since it’s Friday and I pretend to care about the people that read this blog, I’ve combined two short posts into one medium length post! You can pay me later.
The first thing I saw the other day was this:
Mrs. ACW and I are cheap, so we buy off-brand soda from the grocery store because it’s pretty much the same as the regular stuff, but I draw the line at a product called “Mountain Showers”. Primarily because for some reason I think it shares the name with a feminine hygiene product. Second of all because I don’t want to know what kind of perverted niche sex fetish goes along with a term like “mountain showers”. It probably involves cramming your ass with gravel before having anal sex and then making dumptruck beeping back-up noises before your “shower” your partner with a “mountain” of stones. (Look for this practice in the next Republican family-values hypocrite scandal next week.)
The other thing I saw was this:
Mrs. ACW and I were buying booze, because we need it to cope with one another, and they had this up at the counter. I took one look at the over the top fear-mongering propaganda and wondered what group was behind it. Flipping it over gave me my answer right away.
If you can’t read the small print at the bottom, it says that it was paid for by Phillip Morris USA. I’m glad PM is so altruistic that they’re simply looking out for the poor, downtrodden smoker. They can’t possibly have any other motive to intentionally misrepresent the truth. They just care SO MUCH about the little guy that they really REALLY want to help. Really.
Well Phillip Morris can eat a bag of dicks, and then go take a mountain shower with… let’s say… Roscoe Bartlett.
I am not drinking something called Mountain Showers.
I have a hard time believing PM printed that propaganda. Dunno why.
Wouldn’t “Mountain showers” be a breast urination fetish or something? That’s what mokiejovis told me, anyways…
PM must have found a print shop run by a horde of rabid smokers who probably did it at cost for them. Can’t somebody just hurry up and sue the tabacco industry out of existence already??
I rather like the term “Mountain Showers”. Picture a beautiful green forest on the side of a mountain. Slightly off the trail you see water falling from a small cliff into a pond below. Standing beneath the cliff you see a young couple bathing. Her, young, supple, her hair entrancing despite being very wet, him, lean, muscular, with eyes that convey innocence and deceit in the same glance. They pretend not to notice you as his hand runs down her back. They kiss briefly then seductively turn their gaze toward you…
Ahem.
Anyway, it’d be an excellent drink.
I agree with Poppy.
Philip Morris is now called “Altria”. any front group distributing material does it’s damndest to hide who might be funding them. they will often go to great lengths to hide a pro smoking message under a lot of rhetoric.
What that sign ACTUALLY is–Pro tax the smokers hiding under the “stop taxing the smokers” rhetoric. It did EXACTLY what they intended–placed the meme by using philip morris and their own propaganda against them. Quite clever, actually!
A mountain shower involves a mountain stream usually in the neighborhood of 33 degrees F, coupled with an extremely filthy hiker who is desperate to be clean and rid of their associated stink. This is not a pleasant situation and the last thing I would want to drink would be the effluent.
As far as the tax is concerned, a fair tax is a tax on anything I don’t use, I don’t drink, I don’t wager, I don’t inhale, I don’t live in, I don’t earn or I don’t eat. If you are a smoker you need to learn life is not fair.
I didn’t realize Weis is “off-bran”. Their white birch beer is da bomb, yo. Every time I hit a Weis, I buy, like, a bajillion cases. That’s why I have diabetes now. Fuck Weis.
if you are a birch beer drinker you need to learn life is not fair.
Crap. I wasn’t prepared for extra-comment dozens…
I say we tax the smokers AND the eggnog drinkers.
King Mob- White Birch beer from Weis is the shit. I love it.
In Philly we have Sav-A-Lot (yeah save some VOWELS yukka yukka), and they have Mountain Holler. There’s a giant sunshine on it.