Okay, two quick things:
If someone says, “Have a nice day” to you, do you say:
a) Thanks.
b) You too.
c) a combination of a and b
d) something similar in reply
Or do you give the crazy-ass socially retarded answer I just got, which is, “I will.” Who the fuck says, “I will”? Like, now that I’ve told you to have a nice day you’ve reconsidered having a terrible day and decided against it in favor of a good day? Or are you spitefully throwing in my face that you already decided to have a good day and you just feel it necessary to reinforce your point? What the hell?
Second thing. I just introduced myself to someone and said, “Hey, nice to meet you, I’m ACW.” They responded, “I’m Mrs. Lastname.” Who the fuck does that? Who has such an enormous redwood of a log up their ass that they can’t introduce themselves by their first name? Or do you think they’re just so in love with patriarchy that they can’t think of themselves as anything other than someone’s property? I mean, the only case in which I can see this as being appropriate is if you’re 4 years old and you’re introducing yourself to a teacher. Otherwise, don’t be a douchebag and play the power game with names. It’s stupid, and it makes you more annoying than a burlap sack full of sweaty cocks.
Also, can you believe that this was two different people? When did the world become so fucking awkward?
UPDATE: This is relevant to the discussion in comments, it’s just stand-up, but some douchebag thought it would be funnier with anime characters or some such nonsense. Is it any surprise the first decision I make when I meet someone is, “Will I eventually have to kill you because of your idiocy?” Right now if you’re wondering, “Is he talking about me?” then yes, I am talking about you. Anyway, on to the comedy-
The former is probably someone who said “have a nice day” to one of those relentlessly cheerful people that always tries to make you feel special, who then responded, “thanks! I will!” with a big stupid smile, and then they decided they could be that person, too, but can’t pull it off.
The latter is a self-important douche.
Maybe they were just in “automatic answer” mode. Probably more than a few times I’ve gotten “Good luck on the rest of your drive!” at a service station (on one of my many cross-country hauls), to which I responded, “Thanks! You too!”
And then felt like a knob for at least the next 100 miles of driving.
Automatic answer mode is bad times. Sometimes people walk by my desk and they are talking on their phone and I say, “good, thanks,” like they’re talking to me. LIke they’re asking me about my day. If they stop and look at me, sometimes I pretend like I didn’t say anything. I’m kind of sad that way.
My favorite response is, “shut the hell up, fuckwad. Like you actually care.”
“I Will” could be a valid (if grammatically challenged) answer in both situations.
By the way, people from Jamaica say Mrs., Ms., Miss. Was she from Jamaica?
“I will,” is only an acceptable response if they say, “I will, thanks!” as though you just gave them a little mood-lifter. I might say that from time to time, but I always send back the good vibes with a “You, too!”
I am tittering like a schoolgirl over here (sucks trying to keep surfing at work on the DL). I, too, hate the Auto Answer Mode. I have even said “Take it”, trying to say “Take it easy”. I think my brain felt the two-syllable “See ya”, but my mouth tried to be clever. Talk about feeling like a total nimrod!
Yeah, that’s dumb. I personally hate it when you say ‘hi’ to someone you vaguely recognize in the hall at work and they look right at you without saying anything back. For a while, I used to think “well, I take my ‘hello’ back then!”, but now it just provokes me. I’ve found that usually with an escalation in volume and by the third ‘hello’, they will mumble something in response. Stupid buttheads.
Since when does Bliss go by “Savage Bliss”? That sounds like the name of a dildo or vibrator or something.
Meanwhile, I have the worst habit of saying “you, too!” when the ticket takers ask me to “Enjoy the movie/concert/game.” But they won’t be, and I always feel like a moron.
Actually, TWG, I think likening himself to a very effective vibrator is good marketing on Bliss’ part.
And ACW, is there something else going on at home we don’t know about? Your outrage seems to be totally out of proportion. If someone had responded to you with “Jesus loves you” I’d understand the intensity of your rant. This stuff is small potatoes.
I have given my boyfriend crap about the “I will” thing, b/c that is how he answers the ‘have a nice day’ thing.
Very condescending isn’t it?
As for Mrs. Whatsername…how lame is she. Reminds me of the movie “Mixed Nuts”. Madeline Kahn’s character is just referred to as Mrs. Munchnick.
Sometimes, if I’m having a shit day, and someone says, “have a nice day,” I say, “I’ll try.” Does this make me a douche? I’m not intending to be a douche.
If I’m feeling surly and don’t particularly care about the person that tells me to have a nice day, I might say “I will” and go about my business. Also appropriate would be some sort of verbal spasm unrelated to the topic at hand.
“Nit, nit, nit… innnnnnndians.”
Women who introducing themselves as Mrs. So-and-so are too classy for me.
I typically answer with C because it’s just easier. Other days I answer with a Dirk Diggler-like response: “You’re not the boss of me! You’re not the king of Anger Hangover! I’m the boss of me! I’m the king of me. I’m Anger Hangover! I’m the star. It’s my big d*ck and I say when I have a nice day.”
I thought about that Brian Regan bit while reading the post.
Automatic answer mode can be bad sometimes. Today my coworker said “Have a nice weekend!” and I said “I’m gonna be fucking your fat whore of a mother, so I guess I won’t.” Monday will be awkward.
Next time that happens, introduce yourself as First Initial, Middle Initial, Last name (i.e. A. C. Worker), then smack her on the ass as you walk away.
I dare you.
My standard answer to question one: “Thanks! I’m working on it!”
My answer to the second situation: punch the cunt in the neck. She deserves it.
ACW, what are you doing going around wishing people a nice day, anyway? Are you moonlighting as a toll booth guy?
(I wrote “tool booth” then had to correct it, but maybe I shouldn’t have.)
If you do what Stick said, shoot video.
Cuz I totally wanna see that shit.
I always though AH was a chick… Umm, a girl. No, a womyn. Wait, had boobies? Oh crap! This is going from bad to worse.
Don’t ‘taze me bro!
I’m always surprised when people talk to you.
1) “Thanks” does it for me.
2) I usually have very short conversations w/ most people
and I don’t usually use their names at all -
mostly at work with customers.
I do understand the desire to not
have people who you don’t know well
be overly familiar, but the first name’s
pretty much unavoidable.