Okay, two quick things:
If someone says, “Have a nice day” to you, do you say:
a) Thanks.
b) You too.
c) a combination of a and b
d) something similar in reply
Or do you give the crazy-ass socially retarded answer I just got, which is, “I will.” Who the fuck says, “I will”? Like, now that I’ve told you to have a nice day you’ve reconsidered having a terrible day and decided against it in favor of a good day? Or are you spitefully throwing in my face that you already decided to have a good day and you just feel it necessary to reinforce your point? What the hell?
Second thing. I just introduced myself to someone and said, “Hey, nice to meet you, I’m ACW.” They responded, “I’m Mrs. Lastname.” Who the fuck does that? Who has such an enormous redwood of a log up their ass that they can’t introduce themselves by their first name? Or do you think they’re just so in love with patriarchy that they can’t think of themselves as anything other than someone’s property? I mean, the only case in which I can see this as being appropriate is if you’re 4 years old and you’re introducing yourself to a teacher. Otherwise, don’t be a douchebag and play the power game with names. It’s stupid, and it makes you more annoying than a burlap sack full of sweaty cocks.
Also, can you believe that this was two different people? When did the world become so fucking awkward?
UPDATE: This is relevant to the discussion in comments, it’s just stand-up, but some douchebag thought it would be funnier with anime characters or some such nonsense. Is it any surprise the first decision I make when I meet someone is, “Will I eventually have to kill you because of your idiocy?” Right now if you’re wondering, “Is he talking about me?” then yes, I am talking about you. Anyway, on to the comedy-
