1) This weekend Mrs. ACW and I went to New York and caught some horrendous colds. And when you’re in the Finger Lakes in New York and the only thing to do is wine tasting, you have many conversations that sound like this:
“What did you think of that merlot?”
“I’m not drinkin’ any fuckin’ merlot!”
“Okay, we’re not in Sideways. What did you think of the merlot?”
“It tasted like wine.”
“Did you like it?”
“I don’t know! It tastes like alcoholic water to me! I can’t taste anything!”
“… so… how much do you want to buy?”
“I don’t know. Maybe a case?”
2) We ran in to some school teachers from that area who were doing what school teachers do best: getting drunk off their asses. (Mrs. ACW is a school teacher, see Fantastic Four #38. -Ed) While they bummed some fire off our group, they also struck up a drunken conversation about something not very interesting. Two of the teachers broke off and had their own very serious, very slurred conversation about future careers and how they, even though they weren’t close friends, both thought the other was really really really awesome. Seriously. Like really. Really awesome. Seriously.
Later, I literally bumped into one of the more drunken ones, and she spilled beer all over my arm. She had been stumbling along, careening from one shoulder to another in the crowd in a desperate attempt to keep moving forward with simultaneously remaining some semblance of upright. When she got to me her pitcher of beer was nearly horizontal and she was spilling eight bucks worth of microbrewed goodness all over the ground and my arm. Being the cynical, angry, dickhead that I am I looked her square in the eyes and mumbled, “Excuse me” before going in search of a napkin.
3) At one of our wine tastings I noticed Andrew Dan-Jumbo on the far side of the wine bar. I asked Mrs. ACW if she recognized the guy in sunglasses on the far side of the bar, and when she asked if she should, I said “yes”. I told her I’d tell her who it was once we got outside.
He seemed to be enjoying relative anonymity, as I don’t think I saw a single person fawning over him or bothering him in the slightest. Once we got outside I told her, and the other folks we were with, who it was, and they all exclaimed, “Oh yeah! I knew I recognized him from somewhere!” I explained that I didn’t want to say who it was while we were inside because he looked like he was having a good time and it didn’t want it to be ruined by some undersexed house-frau overhearing me say, “Andrew Dan-Jumbo is over there.” before leaping off her tasting stool and asking him if he wants to see her special way of uncorking a wine bottle.
