1) This weekend Mrs. ACW and I went to New York and caught some horrendous colds. And when you’re in the Finger Lakes in New York and the only thing to do is wine tasting, you have many conversations that sound like this:
“What did you think of that merlot?”
“I’m not drinkin’ any fuckin’ merlot!”
“Okay, we’re not in Sideways. What did you think of the merlot?”
“It tasted like wine.”
“Did you like it?”
“I don’t know! It tastes like alcoholic water to me! I can’t taste anything!”
“… so… how much do you want to buy?”
“I don’t know. Maybe a case?”
2) We ran in to some school teachers from that area who were doing what school teachers do best: getting drunk off their asses. (Mrs. ACW is a school teacher, see Fantastic Four #38. -Ed) While they bummed some fire off our group, they also struck up a drunken conversation about something not very interesting. Two of the teachers broke off and had their own very serious, very slurred conversation about future careers and how they, even though they weren’t close friends, both thought the other was really really really awesome. Seriously. Like really. Really awesome. Seriously.
Later, I literally bumped into one of the more drunken ones, and she spilled beer all over my arm. She had been stumbling along, careening from one shoulder to another in the crowd in a desperate attempt to keep moving forward with simultaneously remaining some semblance of upright. When she got to me her pitcher of beer was nearly horizontal and she was spilling eight bucks worth of microbrewed goodness all over the ground and my arm. Being the cynical, angry, dickhead that I am I looked her square in the eyes and mumbled, “Excuse me” before going in search of a napkin.
3) At one of our wine tastings I noticed Andrew Dan-Jumbo on the far side of the wine bar. I asked Mrs. ACW if she recognized the guy in sunglasses on the far side of the bar, and when she asked if she should, I said “yes”. I told her I’d tell her who it was once we got outside.
He seemed to be enjoying relative anonymity, as I don’t think I saw a single person fawning over him or bothering him in the slightest. Once we got outside I told her, and the other folks we were with, who it was, and they all exclaimed, “Oh yeah! I knew I recognized him from somewhere!” I explained that I didn’t want to say who it was while we were inside because he looked like he was having a good time and it didn’t want it to be ruined by some undersexed house-frau overhearing me say, “Andrew Dan-Jumbo is over there.” before leaping off her tasting stool and asking him if he wants to see her special way of uncorking a wine bottle.
I’m gonna let someone else speculate why you were the only person to recognize a muscular interior designer in a room with many women.
Sideways sucks. (Iron Man vaporized Paul Giamotti, see Avengers #205, -Ed.)
Bliss- Ha!
antonio beat me to it.
but seriously. andrew dan-jumbo? i feel a little light in my shoes just saying his name.
I love that man. So macho. So Australian or something. So…. so….. so….. handy. I want one of those. *sigh* But really, why do you have any idea who that guy is?
CruiserMel- The wife loves the home remodeling shows. I can’t help but know who he is.
ACW - Your wife is amazing. She’s actually got you convinced that she likes the show, when actually she’s just admiring the, um….. handiwork.
Yes. People still do the -izzle thing. I’m teaching a few of my German colleagues that “Schizzle Bizzle” means, “I’d be happy to.”
I’ll drink to that. How come whenever girls get trashed and they encounter other trashed girls they don’t know, they either
A) hate them immediately, or
B) become best friends for a few hours?
I’m glad you provided a link to the D-list celebrity b/c I had no clue who he was… and after reading his bio page, I still don’t.
Very true about teachers, that drinking thing.
Andrew Dan-Jumbo … my god, I just can’t get over that name.
What did his shirt say?
(He’s always wearing a t-shirt with a saying.)
Justice Moustache- You’re better for not knowing.
Hanmee- It just had a design on it, no sayings.
(blank stare) (continued blank stare)
Yeah, any guy with Jumbo in his name is instantly interesting to me. I just can’t help myself. Plus he’s hawt. Really, really hawt.
What, so now we don’t post for a few days?
Ain’t that some schizzle.
Ok. You’re right. ‘-izzle-ing’ is silly.
I have no idea who he is but he grew up in Shoreham which is less than 15 miles from where I am right now, which I think is pretty cool, even if he is a D list celeb!
Atleast i have something to do during work. Halarious