w0-motherfucking-0t! My promotion FINALLY came through and I got a 6.5% pay increase! That’s more than DOUBLE what I was expecting to get! So when my boss was like, “Does this look okay to you?” I was all like, “Fuck yes it’s okay! Do you know how many extra blow-jobs I can now buy with this kind of cheese? One! One extra blow-job! And a whole snow-drift of coke too!”
I know some of you are lawyers and doctors and assistant crack-whores, and a 6.5% increase isn’t very much to you, but to me it means that I don’t have to choose between eating and getting my diabetes medicine. Wait, no. That’s not right. 6.5% means that I don’t have to choose between super-sizing or not. I’m gonna super-size that bitch every TIME from now on. You KNOW I gots to get extra bacon in my milkshake, for reals.
Anyway, there is some weirdness to all this. First of all, it took them since April to process the paperwork for my promotion, so who knows how long it’s going to take them to get the extra cash into my check. On the upside though, it doesn’t really matter how long it takes them because they’ll be retro-ing the cash back to July 1, so for a couple of checks I should be making fat dough.
Well, I’m out. Finger Lakes all weekend, bitches. I’m going to try to get my BAC to 6.5% to celebrate, but you and me, we’re going to party when I get back, so start calling the stripper. I’m sure your mom’s not too busy.
Well done! Go have a rockin’ weekend.
The words “blow-job” and “cheese” should never be used in the same sentence. I got that from a Thai hooker, along with more crabs than every boat on the Deadliest Catch combined.
Congratulations! I just got a promotion myself! :) Have a great holiday weekend!
I’ve had the same title at my job ever since I was hired 7 and half years ago. I haven’t had a raise in over two years. 6.5% is awesome. Congratulations!
congratulations! don’t spend it all on bacon and blow though-
i suggest getting something pretty for the wife.
something pretty.
w00t indeed! congrats.
I mock your 6.5% pay increase with what mine was: 13.3%. Suck it! ;-)
In all seriousness, congratulations. I will make sure to have some friends of mine make sure you earn your extra coke-and-whore money.
YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
BEERS ON YOU WHEN I FINALLY MAKE IT TO MD!
Congrats on the promotion! I suggest using the extra money to splurge on top-shelf booze and hookers with only two scars instead of the usual eight.
CONGO RATS! CONGO RATS! CONGO RATS!
For reals, congrats on the raise. Mebbe now you can afford the walk-in clinic for that, y’know, thing?
Congrats on the higher tax bracket. Now Uncle Sam will be raping you 10% more, putting you only 3.5% behind.
Congrats!!
Now you can buy us all something awesome.
Well Done. I’ll buy you a beer if we ever have a Bloggy happy hour again!
lori- sounds like you need to pull one together.
Easy!
Bitches….Err Bloggers…. need to get their asses to Spirits tavern In Fells Point on any given friday nite, for I am ALWAYS there on a Friday nite. Either that or Canton Liquor House…
congrats!!! & congrats on 3 years!!!
;D