‘Sea-wiener’ and ‘Enormous jungle wang’ would be good band names.

But this post does remind me of going sopping at the grocery store with my mother, who had what one might call an “earthy” sense of humour. She delighted in specials available to “Members Only”, and would ride that double entendre ’til the wheels fell off.

More specifically, however, she took even greater joy in showing us the giant coconut tree cum phallus featured boldly on the can of Libby’s Zoodles. She would stand and proclaim loudly, “Lookit the size of that thing, huh?” Thankfully, I had always disdained canned foods, so the association of Zoodles with enormous jungle wang was peripheral to my life. My sister, though…

They’ve since changed the label.

Bonus: I got to use two of my favorite words- seacock and quid.

Just mho.

and

i totally saw that big penis before you said anything :)

Also, I’m always hungry for sushi.

I think the rug is the least of your worries at this point. Therapy might be the better option.

I didn’t even have to read your explanation to know exactly what the heck that freaked out sea wanger was. Yes, you need a new rug so you can quietly and quickly forget about those poor poor fish who will now have no one to think about them and their pain and fear.

I have similar thoughts every time I walk through the main lobby at work. Everywhere on the wall, there are giant vaginas. Giant, glorious, spread vaginas. It’s so odd. And once I noticed it, I can’t help but notice it and think about it and then try not to think about it. But think about it anyway.