I feel compelled to mention that for the past year I have been married to pretty much the awesomest wife in the world. I’m pretty sure that everybody knows how awesome I am, but I’m not sure that everyone knows that Mrs. ACW is about 34 times awesomer. For example, on a scale of “Monster Truck Show” to “Bad-ass Flaming Rollercoaster” she rates at “Shark-Riding Ninjas versus Cyborg Zombie Dinosaurs in the Superbowl”. I know I could totally rent her out for, like, a million dollars a second, and you would all pay that much money just to have her as your wife, but I would never do that because I am the only person who can handle her sheer, unadulterated, balls-to-the-wall awesomeness.
The past year has been a deep-fried chocolate-dipped slice of BONZER, and I couldn’t be luckier or happier to have her.
Happy anniversary, hon! Here’s to another year of terrible movies, great beer, and two annoying cats!
