Savage Bliss:
“Panthro and Cheetara - were they doing it?”
You know they were. But the problem with Cheetara is that she’s too quick for her own good. He always got his, and she never got hers. I guess that’s like the curse of being TOO good at it. Or something. Wait. Have I been tricked in to talking about bestiality, or does it not count because they’re humanoids? Since they were cats, do you think they ever did it “doggy style” or would Panthro beg for the perverse pleasure of the missionary position because they were freaky-deaky animals anyway? Why do I suddenly have so many questions about the mating rituals of Thundercats? Does this bring new meaning to the term “Thundercats, HO!”?
Hanmee:
“I always wanted Tigra and Cheetara to get together.”
That’s because you’re a racist and you couldn’t handle a strong representation of Nubian warrior banging the bejeezus out of the upper-class and white character inherent in Cheetara. You just had to have the preppy white chump Tygra with the white Cheetara. No race-muddling for you. Why don’t you go back to your Klan meeting?
mojotek:
“Why did they kill off everyone’s favorite Transformers halfway through the movie, and then try and create a bunch of new ones to fill their spots? Bumblebee didn’t deserve that kind of fate!”
Are you talking about the Michael Bay movie, or the original cartoon? Because I’m ashamed to admit that I’ve seen neither. I’m pretty sure that as kids the only time we ever went to the movies is when my mom had enough coupons during matinee showtimes that she only had to pay less than a dollar for tickets for her and three kids. And I’m so lax about pop-culture now that it takes me about a minimum of 6 months to see the movies that are currently showing. So to answer your question, I have no idea.
stephanie:
“Why are some people crazy and other people are not crazy?”
Oh, see, I guess nobody ever told you: everybody’s crazy. It’s much more of a continuum from “Really fucking batshit loco” to “slightly crazy” with many people falling under the largest part of the bell curve, which is defined as “crazy in a way that’s not readily apparent to acquaintances”. For example, you have the type of crazy where people steal other people’s shoes and then create a big pile of stolen shoes, urinate on them, set themselves on fire, and then roll around in the shoe-pile. That’s crazy. Then there’s the type of crazy where you save anything remotely burnable like dryer lint and old phone books so I can burn them in the firebowl that Mrs. ACW got me for my birthday last year. Finally you’ve got the type of crazy where you get a 40-hour a week job in a cubicle farm, pay a mortgage, get married and have a few kids and go home every night to kill your brain with reality TV because you never took a single chance in life. Everybody is crazy. It’s just all different types.
Alilinsane:
“Why did Sally sell seashells on the seashore when you can just pick them up anyway?”
It’s all about the laws of supply and demand. Down at the seashore Sally sold shells to supplement several shady sharks shiftlessly sliding silently… uh… shit. Alliteration is hard. I don’t know. Sally was a crackhead?
tfg:
“Congratulations on the promotion.”
Thanks!
Bonanza Jellybean:
“If I have sex with Jesus and we are not married, then is that considered a sin? Therefore, would Jesus be condemned to hell?”
I’m no theologian, but I’m pretty sure this is one of those “Could God microwave a burrito so hot that even he couldn’t eat it?” type of questions. I’ll take a shot at it anyway. Looking at the Bible we see from a historical context that Jesus didn’t really have sex with anyone, and unless you’re one of those crazy Dan Brown sycophants I think this goes generally undisputed. However, Jesus was fully human as well as fully divine (according to the mythology of Christians) and it’s because of his human abstinence from sex that I believe the current link between abstention and purity has come to exist. So I’m pretty sure that married or unmarried, Jesus probably wouldn’t be putting out, so the issue of Jesus going to Hell is moot. However, if Jesus for some reason did have sex with you (ignoring the fact that he’d probably be banging supermodels so hot that even God couldn’t have an orgasm and the whole 2000 year difference) he probably wouldn’t go to Hell because in the end, he’s Jesus, and he gets to make up the rules.
Besides, everybody knows Jesus prefers blowjobs.
More tomorry.
i LOVE the tigra question/answer.
hehehe.
also, i’m fairly sure that BJB is just as hot as a supermodel.
Have you ever seen Denis Leary’s “No Cure For Cancer?”
He talks about Jesus getting old. Like, what if Jesus was like Elvis and got fat and sweaty? Would he walk around Ancienttown and say things like, “Hey, Mary Magdelane. Make me a sandwich. Gimma a blow job.”
The “Jesus Prefers Blowjobs” comment made me think of that.
And, actually, how come that’s not a bumper sticker?
Besides, everybody knows Jesus prefers blowjobs.
That should be your new tag line.
I didn’t get to see the Transformers movie until I was 22 years old and finally bought it for myself. My mom couldn’t afford to take three kids to the movies either. Talk about utter disappointment. I couldn’t believe they tried to pass that POS off as a true-life transformer movie. I’m wondering about the Michael Bay movie though… if the robots are coll enough I’ll still watse my money on it.
I’ve never seen the TRansformers (ducks). Am I a heretic? Will my quasi-geek staus be revoked?
ACW, I think I love you… but not in that “I’m a crazy stalker” kind of way. I’m too damned lazy for anything like that.
kendra- No doubt, but is she so hot that even God couldn’t get with her? See what I did there?
Stephanie- Thanks for pointing out that I subliminally copied from Dennis Leary. Nothing I do is good enough for you!
DJ- Maybe. Let’s see if my brain comes up with anything better as I answer more questions.
Mojotek- Word. I hate Michael Bay but I want to see Optimus Prime kill some bitches.
PNYC- Nah, you get to keep your geek cred because I’m pretty sure the Transformers were outside your demographic.
Gwen- Thanks, but don’t be surprised if my wife hunts you down and stabs you. It’s not personal, she just doesn’t like to share.
Better an Orko reference (musing: did Man-e-Faces also sport a Man-e-Cock?) than a Snarf reference.
Godfuckingdammit, I hate Snarf.
ACW - No worries, man. I can’t blame the lady, I’d probably do the same if I were her. Besides, I haven’t been in a really good knife fight for a while.
Gwen,
You know… It’s not at all sexy if you actually hurt each other. You’re just supposed to rip each other’s blouses off and roll around on the ground, grappling each other.
When I was younger I designed a new Thundercat so Panthro would get some play, too. I think she was some kind of leopard with boobs.
Alan - Is there any other way for girls to fight? But before we get to the shirt ripping and the inevitable making out afterwards, we must dance around each other in a circle waving switchblades at each other.
Duh.
Savage Bliss: I had completely forgotten Snarf until now. Gah, he was a quivering little douche wasn’t he?
Gwen- Haven’t been in a knife fight in a while? Ooh, I’d be careful then. Mrs. ACW kills hobos for practice. You should see our decomposing hobo pile in the backyard.
Jess- “Designed”? You know that makes you a freaky super-fan, right?
AWC - I believe what I said was “I haven’t been in a really good knife fight in a while.” That’s not to say there haven’t been any. My opponents were all to weak to call it a “really good fight”.
Hobos? Ha! Bring it on.
I’m just popping in here to make sure your google searches for “Thundercat Porn” go up.
Hot Thundercat Porn. All day. All night. Don’t turn that channel!