It’s been wicked-retarded busy around here recently, due partly in fact to me getting a promotion. w00t to more money, un-w00t to more work. It’s why I’ve not been answering your comments like I normally do. Anyway, I’m also out of the office this week as of this evening, and I won’t be back in the office until Monday. I do blog from work, but it’s usually 15 minutes in the mornings before anyone else gets here, so I won’t be doing anymore blogging until Monday. In the meantime, you can ask me any type of question you’d like in the comments and I’ll answer them all to make up for the recent lack of comment response when I get back.
Just as a reminder, I personally find necrophilia (and all its permutations) revolting, but I think one should be able to do as one wishes with another person if they’ve got some sort of post-life sex agreement worked out with the other. I still expect to get at least one question from each of you about this. Because you’re idiots.
Anyway, if you’re having trouble thinking of a question you can use the Paradigm Shifts section over there on the right for topic ideas. I also have some music to play in lieu of the “Jeopardy!” theme. My friend Justin wrote it. You will add it to your playlists, I guarantee.
Please right-click and “Save as”:
Hypothetically speaking… If one were to shave their taint and then get a tattoo of buddha, Jesus and Mohammed in flagrante with Mother Theresa, would that be a sin? What if they were caricatures instead?
Ok, since you insisted, here’s my necro question:
Could you please list all the permutations of necrophilia? I feel I’ve forgotten some.
Mr. Chairman, I’ll reserve the balance of my time for my other questions.
i have a ‘90 subaru legacy w/ +200k miles on it. once the car has warmed up after an hour’s drive, when i come to an intersection to stop, the car will shut off. it starts up right away and keeps running until the next time i stop, and then it dies again…any ideas about what might be the problem?
thanks!
oh wait… is this not car talk?
CONGRATULATIONS, ACW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EGGNOG SHOTS ON ME!!!!!!!
Oh. And, here’s my question: Are you gonna eat my brains in July or what?! Cuz I’m not coming to MD if my brains won’t be ett.
My real question: If you had to choose between eggnog and all other alcoholic beverages which would you choose and why?
i have gone over it 892573459 times, and yet my checkbook is still off by $10. why?
will my ankle/foot ever function properly again? because i have lots of pretty heels i’d like to wear.
what is the reason for the season?
Why do you hate America, ACW?
Panthro and Cheetara - were they doing it?
I always wanted Tigra and Cheetara to get together.
Why did they kill off everyone’s favorite Transformers halfway through the movie, and then try and create a bunch of new ones to fill their spots? Bumblebee didn’t deserve that kind of fate!
Why are some people crazy and other people are not crazy?
Why did Sally sell seashells on the seashore when you can just pick them up anyway?
Congratulations on the promotion.
If I have sex with Jesus and we are not married, then is that considered a sin? Therefore, would Jesus be condemned to hell?
Hypothetical situation: In the middle of a zombie attack, your best friend gets scratched. You know that sometime in the next few hours or days, he is going to join the legion of the undead. Do you shoot him right away or after you ask him for his permission? If you shoot him right away, what’s your favorite color?
The question above was mine. Damn this newfangled technology for claiming it was anonymous.
No. It was Liono and Cheetara.
Nah, Liono just fancied Cheetara, he was always a little awkward when she was around… Panthro was definately hitting that though.
Is Jessica Rabbit hot? and is it wrong to find cartoons hot? If not, should you worry about your sexuality if you found Bugs Bunny hot when he dressed up as a girl bunny?
Er… I’m pretty sure Tigra wasn’t interested in Cheetara if you get my drift. I mean, a whip?!
If you had to give up sleep or food (but could still function perfectly without), which would you forsake?
Are you this acerbic and grumpy in real life, or is it something you save for us - your bloggy buddies?
Perhaps you should check with Nerdy Squirrel, Esq., before giving a definitive answer.
Also, the Thunder Cats were too busy fighting the bad guys to get it on. Yes they were. YES THEY WERE! Now stop ruining my fond childhood memories.
The older I get, the more I sexualize old cartoons.
Am I the only one who listened to the damn song?
I feel completely violated. Wishing on a magic ham indeed.
If you and Mrs. ACW were to start a band, would the cats also be band members and if so, what would you name the band?
Why is my second toe longer than my big toe?
Will you make up some alternate lyrics to “Goodbye Old Paint” so that I can get my husband’s version, which involves the horse being made into dogfood, out of my head?
Ok, Here’s the rest of my questions:
1. While playing hide and seek with my three year old, after hiding in the closet from me and me pretending to give up, he bursts out of the closet and proclaims, “I’m out of the closet!” I should definitely recount this tale to all of his future romantic interests, correct?
2. Is this whole question/answer deal just something to keep us entertained, by reading each other’s questions instead of proper buh-logger content?
3. What are your thoughts about the discussion of fisting in the film, “Chasing Amy”? Is there some higher concept or is it just a method of attracting guys to what is essentially a “chick-flick”? If you haven’t seen the film, you can either rent it or skip this question — your option.
4. If you engage in coitus with a zombie, is this necrophilia. What if the zombie eats you first? And by eating, I mean biting and chewing you. Umm… Actually, zombie-ism could explain some of my previous sexual partner’s technique…
5. Have you made any “unintentional” purchases on ebay recently?
6. I’m trying to simplify my life. However, the solution I keep coming up with involves feeding my wife’s office manager to lions, zombies or other human flesh-eating entities. Is this OK?
7. Is Neil Peart overrated?
Ok, I think I’m done.
Mr. Chairman, I relinquish the balance of my time.
Whoops, I meant Mrs. ACW. I think I’m getting bloggers confused. D’Oh.
You are a cockbag. Pretend there’s a question mark at the end of that last sentence.
You were nominated for a little award at:
http://mentalexcrements.com/
I think it was funniest mutha fuckin blog or something like that
Alan, I can answer your #7:
No!
Okay, I’ve outed myself as a Rush fan. Here’s my question:
Why can’t I think of any legitimate questions to ask you? Is it because I’m sure you’ll eloquently insult me with your answer?
5. Have you made any “unintentional” purchases on ebay recently?
I second this query.
YAY, stats is done for me! Wrote my exam yesterday, just hope I passed *crosses fingers*
My stomach is sour from the necrophelia thing. Is that where the Greatful Dead got their name from?
So here’s the nerdiest question I could come up with on short notice (that has nothing to do with fucking the dead):
If all objects and persons on the Holodeck are real only inside it (disappearing as soon as they step out of it) then why the hell, when Wesley falls into the water and gets soaked, does he remain wet when he leaves the Holodeck? Shouldn’t the water disappear like everything else leaving him bone dry?
Go ahead and mock me, I’ve already made fun of myself for being such a geek. Why shouldn’t you?
‘grats on the promotion.
Here’s my q: What tips / advice do you have for the folken who are considering going to grad school and working full time?
Where have all the flowers gone?
Why is it impossible to eat while watching porn?
“wicked retarted.”
Do I know where you’re from????
If a bear farts in the woods, will the butterflies hear it?
My car was almost stolen at the Metro station yesterday, should I stop working in DC (in favor of another location) or suck it up and deal? Basically you can get in my car now with a screw driver. Do I have yet another reason to hate Metro and DC?
Desk Job–I can Answer your question with one simple Answer:
yes.
Will M.Snay ever get laid?
Friday Bonus Questions:
1. What secret would you never tell your blushing bride? You should probably ROT13 encode your answer since she reads your buh-log.
2. Are you smarter than a 5th Grader?
3. Given the following question:
“Assume Moe paid an arithemtic average of $250 for four
ladies of the evening. One of the women cost more than
all of the others. How much did he pay for the most expensive
woman?”
Is statement 1 alone, statement 2 alone or both statement 1
and 2 necessary to answer the question?
Statement 1: Moe paid the most expensive hooker $100 more
than the least expensive hooker.
Statement 2: Moe paid an arithmetic average of $900 for three
of the ladies.
Please justify your answer in a well thought out argument
containing no vulgar slang for coitus.
4. As Lori suggests, can a question have more than one answer? Can it have more than one _simple_ answer?
5. Who or what the fuck is the Green Marinèe?
6. If you and your blushing bride ever create offspring and the personality of said offspring takes more after your blushing bride, how will you explain this blog to them when they eventually find it on “Googles Buh-logs of Antiquity (Beta)”?
7. Why is it that when I’m really late for an appointment at work or to pick up my mal-adjusted offspring from Day-Torture, the drivers that annoy me by either blocking lanes while driving slower than traffic in their lane, or doing idiotic maneuvers while yapping on cell phones always seem to be driving one of three cars. It’s either an old-ass Jetta, a BMW Z4 (Yuppie putz) or a Celica (pain in the ass stoner). What’s up with that?
And the 25 point bonus question:
Discounting Making Whoopie and any chemically (including ETOH) altered states, when was the last time your were enthusiasticaly, eurphorically happy and what were you doing?
Desk Job - Now you know why I stopped taking mass transit into DC. The ride is fine, but your car is vulnerable all day with many scheduled gaps where no one is around to hear breaking gas or car alarms.
Congrats on making bucket-loads of new money! Does this mean your old job is open? Because, um, I’m looking for something.
How can I make the crick in my neck go away?