There are two young women in my statistics class. Actually, there are more than two young women. Except for the 4 men (that includes me), the proportion of men to women is .1905. Heh. This statistics stuff is fun.
Anyway, I want to talk about two young women in particular.
The first young woman is Russian. She’s about 22 or 23, she’s got shoulder-length blonde hair, blue eyes, and is generally built like a stereotypical “hot” girl: skinny but with curves, tall, and a disproportionately large chest. She dresses in the latest fashion, and makes sure that people can see her body. She’s also very nice. Whenever I see her outside of class we both usually exchange a wave and a greeting.
The second young woman is of indeterminate origin, i.e. American. She’s about 25 or 26 and she’s got black hair that goes to the middle of her back. She’s also skinny, but she’s not built with curves. She’s more angular. She also has a big-ish nose, and kind of a weird smile. Her clothes frequently look like cast-offs from the nineties. She’s very nice, wicked smart, and funny. Whenever I see her outside of class we usually exchange a wave and a greeting.
The other day they both happened to be walking down the narrow hallway towards our class (they’re not friends, it was just a coincidence), and I was approaching from the other direction.
Of course I talked to the young woman with dark hair. Why? She’s funny, she’s smart, and at this point in my life, I’m much more concerned with jokes and brains than I am with tits and ass. Don’t get me wrong, the blonde is also smart, and I imagine she could be funny if I decided to speak to her at greater length, but I’ll let the other three guys in my class fawn all over her. I’ll take the smart funny one any day.
I’m not sure if it’s because I’m married. Clearly I’m still able to notice the traditionally attractive young woman, I just don’t have any interest in her. I don’t need attention from her to feel validated, as I almost definitely would have as an undergrad. I know who I am, and I know what I am, and I’m happy with both. So rather than pick a conversation partner that looks the best externally, I pick a conversation partner that I know will be able to challenge me intellectually, and make me laugh.
At this point in my life, hotness is irrelevant, but dumbness is a gunt.
Queer.
velma over daphne any day. expecially the linda cardellini velma from the live action moves.
I’ve always been that way. Nothing deflates a woody faster than seeing a hot woman, talking to her, and then realizing that there isn’t a brain in her head.
If you want the blond Russian to be funny - ask her to say “That crazy Moose and Squirrel”. It cracks me up every time.
anyways you gotta keep in mind that beautiful russian women are dangerous ~ sure they might sleep with you, but then they put poison in your scotch or lure you into a secret underground lair with shark tanks.
Gunt? As in FUPA?
It’s because you’re married. Maybe. Most single guys would go for the hot chick, just so they could try to get some. Glad to see marriage has turned you into a good guy.
Yah, I’m the same. Can’t stand the “disposable blondes” that Hollywood churns out (I couldn’t pick Jessica Biel out of crowd of two women, she’s so boring) - love love love the interesting faces…Toni Collette. Rawr. ;)
Goddamn it, I love posts where the word gunt shows up.
I’m pleased that as men age, they prefer the company of smart chicks rather than hot chicks. I mean, most men prefer that. Not my dad. But whatever.
1). noun.
A protruding sack of fat which extends from the lower abdomen to the upper genital area.
Is this how you are using the word? If so… why in the name of all that is holy did I go google it? Mine mental image! Shoot me.
In other news… my spouse has said the same thing often. Not the “gunt” thing, but the other thing. Dammit.
Sincerely Yours,
Heather (monkey’s traumatized human)
*applauds*
You’re married, you shouldn’t even be looking at either of them let along speaking to them.
“let alone”. My typing stinks today. :-(
in fact, bring in some birhkas for them to wear :D
The obvious solution is to bag them both…
Duh…
Oh, don’t give me that “I’m enlightened” bullshit. You’re still the same shallow prick you always were.
I do applaud you for choosing to associate with the smart one. However, is it fair to make such a quick judgement about the Russian girl from her appearance? Maybe she just has a difficult time with our language. She could be the quiet, introspective type. I had a really difficult time being taken seriously where I used to work. People constantly asked me if they could talk to the boss or owner. I even had a guy ask me if my daddy was around. People were usually pleasant, but when it came around to doing serious business, they were extremely uncomfortable with me (I am an art dealer and I used to have a “store” that was in a glorified flea market). This was all very frustrating, especially since the other dealers always came to me for my opinions. To people who didn’t know me, I couldn’t possibly know what I was talking about. If I was the owner and not a bubble headed salesgirl, my material must not be worth anything. I’m not necessarily saying I’m hot. I’m blonde (no, I don’t dye my hair) and I have curves. Somehow, to a lot of people (both women and men), the curves translate to dumb. Like the size of the boobs is proportionate to the strength of brainpower. I could have done more business if I just giggled and said, “Why, yes, I am the salesgirl. The boss isn’t around at the moment. May I help you?” I closed my store and now I only deal with people who already know me.
Who are you trying to kid? You just know you have a better chance with the misfit.
CBC- I knew I would get that at one point or another, but as the first comment, and especially from you, it really makes me feel special.
j$- I don’t know about all that. I’d probably pick the Velma from Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back though.
tfg- Way to say in 29 words what took me a whole post. Douche.
Broadsheet- Heh. As she’s fairly Americanized, I don’t think she’d fall for it.
j$- Those damn dirty Russians!
DL- Exactly.
Jules- I’d like to think I was always a good guy. I just realize that I was being led around by my hormones more in the past, and am led by my brain now.
Bliss- I can pick out Jessica Biel; she was on that sitcom 7th Heaven. People keep telling me it wasn’t a sitcom, but I don’t know how anyone else would have watched it if it weren’t.
Stephanie- Yes, the smart girls (for the most part) win in the end.
Monkey- Great minds think alike… when not in the gutter.
Sourpuss- Thanks!
S. Reed- Heh.
j$- Yes! Women should not be allowed to be seen!
Just Sayin’- HA!
Karla- Look, just because you’ll bone anything that falls into the class “Mammalia” doesn’t mean you have to drag the rest of us down with you.
Jessica- I’m not judging the blonde on a superficial basis. I’ve had another class with her, and I’ve spoken to her about class topics more that a few times. And while she’s clearly smart enough to get into a Master’s program, I wouldn’t place her in the upper 50% of the class. She’s also cordial with most in the class (so not introspective or quiet), and her English is only very slightly accented. Like I said, she’s nice enough, but she can’t hold a candle to her dark-haired classmate.
Alan- A better chance at what? Talking to her and then going home to have relations with my wife?
Let me give you three handy Russian phrases (as I try to spell them phonetically vs. the cyrillic)
“Mama e Papa idoot damoy.” - “Mama and Papa are coming home.”
“Anna styeet na mostu.” - “Anna is standing on the bridge.”
“Ya yem soop.” - “I eat soup.”
Best. Pickup lines. EVER.
Actually, if I’m not mistaken, i do believe tfg has some experience with crazy Russian women, so if I were you, I’d listen to him if he spouts off any knowledge about them :-)
hoyeem grushi ah-ka-latch-a-va-u (phonetic) - roughly “I’m whacking pears with my prick” similar to “shooting the shit” “chewing the fat” etc.
DJ: Why in the name of JesusFuck would you know that, hmm?
OK. You knew her well enough to know she was dim. It’s just a sore subject for me. Let’s say you wanted to make some investments, so you go to your local stock brokerage firm. The broker you are referred to looks like Alice in Wonderland, all grown up and turned into a boob dumpling. Would you do business with her or would you panic, looking all around for the nearest middle aged white male? I hope you would give her the benefit of the doubt, but many people would not.
By the way, I’ve been lurking on your site for ages. I know - that’s very bad. You make me laugh every time I read a new post. Thank you so much for that!
For God’s sake, how gay can you possibly be? You owe it to every man on this planet to tap those asses!
Sheesh, I was going to leave a compliment about how grown up you’ve become, but then I read the others and I’m not really wanting to dip my toe in this one. So - I think I’ll come back some other time. Tootles.
Score another one for the funny girls. On behalf of all funny girls, I would like to extend our thanks.
There’s no punchline. We sincerely mean it.
I was going to make a comment about not prematurely judging the blond either, but then I read the comment about how you knew more about her.
Personally, I’ve always preferred dark hair. It seems like people notice blond hair and not so much the face. I think when you notice a hot brunette it’s because she’s hot whereas with the blond, she might or might not be hot.
(Disclosure: I’m brunette, though my hair is a “mousy” brown. Oh, and I’m not hot to anyone but my husband :).)
Now that I am married I don’t really ebven care about other hot women. My plan of having sex with a ton of hot women before marriage was a smart one. ; 0
the ACW site - come by for the laughs, stay for the useful Russian phrases.
I still stand by my original comment, but why Tajikistan? Why nit, “Dumbness is a Nile”?
It takes a lot of work to get a hot ass.
Too bad I’m lazy.
Oh, and I’m not very funny either.
So how long before you settle talking to someone like myself?
Oh is THAT what a gunt is? Wow. Neat to know some of my body fat pockets have their own special names!