Last night I spent 2 hours re-writing my statistics homework. I actually did all the calculations on Saturday and Sunday, but it was in my typical serial-killer handwriting, so as opposed to losing points on my homework because it’s illegible, I choose to do it once quickly and with things scratched out, and then again slowly and neatly.
I guess I could probably type it, but it would take me forever to type out equations, if that’s even possible. Where’s the fucking “xbar” key? How the fuck am I supposed to type sigma sub xbar sub 1 minus xbar sub 2 equals the square root of N sub 1 times s sub 1 squared plus N sub 2 time s sub 2 squared divided by N sub 1 plus N sub 2 minus 2? Huh? Where the fuck is the hotkey for that? Can somebody please make me a fucking macro for that?! Because it’s only the first half of the fucking equation, and once you get the motherfucking answer you still have to use another whole equation to convert the first answer into a usable z score. So it takes me ten motherfucking minutes to RE-write one part of one question.
Some of you probably had a seizure after your eyes glazed over in the middle of that last paragraph. Let me explain it to you like this: this week we had 3 homework questions. Three. It took me no less than 6 legal sized pages to re-write these questions as small as possible to keep from having 10 pages of homework to hand in. That means that at my most efficient I’m still using two shit-stabbing pages to answer one donkey-punching question. If I were to actually just write in a way that wouldn’t conserve space I couldn’t even fit one whole part of one question onto the same piece of paper. I’d have fucking reams of sigmas and standard deviations and t scores and z scores and hypothetical assumptions and normal curves that would make the fat, tree-killing love-child of Ulysses and War and Peace look like a Jews for Jesus pamphlet.
Personally I find that amount of calculation to be ab-fucking-so-fucking-lutely ri-motherfucking-goddamn-diculous. And hence the title.
So THAT’S what a seizure feels like!
You could use TEX but it probably has just as steep a learning curve as your stats class.
MS Equation editor blows green donkey dicvk, BTW. I’d rather scrawl it all out by hand.
Your stats prof takes off points for handwriting? What a putz. I had a numerical methods prof once take off points because I proved questions on the exams my own way instead of vomiting back his proofs. I complained to my advisor but he said, “Yeah, the guys a dick. But he has tenure. Deal with it. It’s one class. You only need a C for it to count.”
I guess the moral is, it’s not forever. Just deal. Sometimes life deals unsolicited blows to the cock. Just ask your blushing bride!
I actually want to take statistics from hearing so many people bitch about it over the years. (not that your bitching isn’t well-founded). My curiosity is piqued! Maybe I’ll audit a class.
christ, you definitely need an equation editor…after using computers for so long, i don’t even think i CAN write longhand for more than 2 minutes before my hand starts cramping up, like an unsolicited punch in th..
I barely passed algebra.
My pain and confusion covary
At levels both looming and scary
To pass this exam
I’ll be needing some scam -
Oh statistics! I should have been wary.
I did indeed, have a seizure 3 sentences into paragraph 2. Thank you.
In other news… is there such a thing as a solicited punch in the cock? If so, can I get paid to do such a thing to people?
I’d be really surprised if someone hasn’t devised a program to let you do this the easy way.
Then again, I’m easily surprised sometimes.
Dude, this is shareware: Ribbit
I’ve yet to see a good equation editor. Welcome to my world.
I’m enough of a geek that I wanted to come in here and suggest LaTeX. Then I realized that you would probably laugh at the name and never think about it again.
Guess that’s better than an unsolicited punch in the cock.
Why are you taking statistics? What’s your masters in?
CruiserMel- Feels like a one-person party!
Alan- She takes off points if she can’t read it, and I’ve gone over my “draft” homework with her before, and she couldn’t read it.
S. Reed- I would encourage you to do so. I can almost feel my brain churning away as it processes the new material. It’s a love/hate relationship.
Darth- Same here. I could type a 15 page paper with no problem. Writing all this homework is killing me.
Stephanie- The strange thing is, so did I.
Broadsheet- Is there nothing a limerick can’t do?
Monkey- It’s the INTERNET. Someone, somewhere will pay you to do that.
Serra- I’m sure there’s something somewhere.
Sally- And there it is.
tfg- Thank you. My, your world is scary and overflowing with phalli. Is that normal?
Snay- Sociology.
From the Ribbit page:
“LaTeX is the standard way to typeset mathematics. If you already know LaTeX, using Ribbit will be a second nature. If not, the language is simple, documentation is available everywhere, and Ribbit’s syntax highlighting and preview features will help you master it in no time. And because LaTeX is so ubiquitous, you’ll even get a useful skill in the end.”
Obviously said by someone who thinks vi or emacs is the superior editor.
Ubiquitous. Word is ubiquitous. Unfortunately. Crime is ubiquitous. Hell, stupidity, fanboi-ism and, according to Snay, poor driving skills are ubiquitous. LaTeX is NOT ubiquitous, you damn frog loving hippies.
Woh! There’s bubbles coming out of my head.
Freaking love this blog!!! I am addicted to blogs….
ADW
Perfectly normal. Advanced Dongology is required in most technical programs.
Seriously, does this guy make you do all the intermediate calculations? If not, use a TI, Excel, or an illegal immigrant to handle that for you.
Statistics show that people who study statistics are wasting their lives.
I am with you, I am taking statistics, and trying to get the calculations done on homework is painful! Not to mention three hours of calculations during an exam! Never Again!
I’m confused. From the title of your post, I assumed statistics homework was something you would pay a hooker good money for.
MBA??
Statistics is something imposed to help you build character - just like shovelling the driveway at ambient temperatures of fifty below in the middle of a blizzard builds character. I only knew of one person who said ‘hurray!’ at the mention of statistics, and we don’t speak about him. Ever.
I’ve seen hell. It’s when you see sigmas, F values, xbars, and numbers with way too many decimal points in your dreams while you sleep, and you snort awake muttering about how only significance values of 0.01 should be the new statistically significant accepted level.
Find your happy place. It’ll all be over soon. Come hell or high water.
AD- Thanks!
tfg- Yeah, she makes us do the intermediate calculations. She luckily doesn’t make us do the proofs and algorithms to arrive at the equations that we have to use to solve the problems.
MD- 99% of people who say, “Statistics show that people who study statistics are wasting their lives.” have abnormally small penes. The remaining 1% have an old coat button instead of a penis.
Melissa- Stand strong! We’ll finish eventually!
CBC- Something YOU would pay a hooker good money for.
Alice- MA in Sociology.
Goingwiddershins- I’ve been there. Those dreams are almost a constant occurrence now. Mostly it’s z scores and t scores. I’m sure the f values will start now that we’re using them.
I went to Art college to get away from dealing with any math of any sort. So…what happens? I can’t actually get a job as an artist, so i simply go where the job takes me and become…..
……an accountant.
How is that for irony?