I’ve been trying to get in touch with a guy at another company for about a week now, and keep getting directed to his assistant’s substitute, who apparently has no access to his schedule, calendar, or even his phone number. Today she was finally able to direct me to his voicemail, but I was on hold for about 10 minutes while she was (I assume) looking up the number. However, I wouldn’t put it past her, considering I’ve been dealing with her for a week, that she just put me on hold and forgot about me. But this doesn’t get to the point of my post. While I was on hold I was subjected to a recording about various diseases, their symptoms, and what to do about treatment (it’s a health insurance company).
Here are some of the diseases that were mentioned while I was on hold:
Anorexia
Bulimia
Cancer
Alzheimer’s
Obesity
HIV
Hypertension
Leukemia
Hepatitis
Schizophrenia
Lung Cancer
Malaria
Now I feel great! Nothing like listening to a chipper female voice describe finding a dark-spot in a a x-ray in a search for lung cancer. And my, she was so polite in not mentioning sharing needles during an orgy when discussing Hepatitis and HIV. Unfortunately, I was connected to the voicemail before I could hear the spiel about malaria. I’m sure that would have been awesome in a West-Nile kind of way.
Here are some of the diseases I would have liked to hear about:
Ebola
Mad Cow
Solanum
Tapeworms
Lycanthropy
Elephantiasis
Trichatillomania
Explosive Diarrhea
