When you get married you get to do many exciting things. For example, because you’re married you get a break on your taxes, which is a de facto way of the government saying, “We approve of your marriage, and everything you do within your union.” So essentially if you like to be wrapped in tinfoil, duct taped to the ceiling, spanked with 1/8 scale replica cardboard-cutout of Ronald Reagan, all while singing traditional Christmas music, the government is PAYING you for being that big of a freak, and only because you’re a freak who is married.
Mrs. ACW and I don’t ever do anything that exciting (even though she said that if I bought the duct tape she would think about it) but this past weekend she did add me to her bank account. I told her that if she doesn’t treat me right I’ll just clean her out. Maybe I shouldn’t have typed that. They could probably use that for evidence later, couldn’t they? I guess I’ll delete it.
Eh. Maybe later.
Anyway, we’re at the bank, and for some reason it takes 40 minutes to add my name to her account, but it finally gets done. Mrs. ACW and I then went to a number of different stores to shop for Christmas presents for people, and for our cats. Yes, Mrs. ACW is the type of person who loves to buy presents for our pets. I prefer to not be punched in the wang when the conversation would ultimately escalate to violence, so I keep my mouth shut and go along with such a crazy idea. We bought the cats a 3 foot scratching post, but when they got home they found a better toy.
This is Sherlock playing with the business card of the woman at the bank that we met with.
He and Wookie must have chased that thing around for hours. I’d fling it at them and almost every time they’d pounce on it in mid-air before pulling it to the ground and trying to kill it. A few times Sherlock carried the card around in his mouth, but I couldn’t get a picture of him doing it. The best I could do is the first picture above. I kept telling Mrs. ACW that he was a card-carrying business-cat, but she didn’t think it was very funny after the third time he tried to sell her Accidental Death and Dismemberment insurance. What can I say, he drives a hard bargain?
Finally we dragged the scratching post to the middle of the floor and they really started playing with it. As you can see here, Sherlock very quickly claimed it as his own personal thing to lay on.
It didn’t take him long to get the hang of it though, and for a while he kept climbing to the top of the thing like he was re-enacting the final scene in King Kong. (King Kong falls off the Empire State Building, dies, and the audience realizes that man was the real monster. Why you gots ta be a monsta all up in here?) In the picture below you can see Wookie immitating one of those tiny clip-on koalas from the 80s.
Seeing how much fun Wookie was having with the business card and the scratching post, I decided to combine the two into THE ULTIMATE CAT TOY OF FUN AND EXCITEMENT FOR CATS TO HAVE FUN WITH WHEN THEY’RE PLAYING WITH TOYS OF EXCITING FUN FOR CATS!!! I balanced the business card on top of the scratching post, and Wookie would leap up and get it down. She must have done it an half-dozen times before I shot the video below, and it was subsequently the last time she would do it.
Before watching the video, there are some things you should be made aware of:
1) that’s our new laminate flooring, now free from lumps after the second installation
2) The person you hear calling Wookie in the stupid baby voice is me
3) the person squealing with girlish delight at the end of the video is mokiejovis
4) if you turn it up really loud at the last 1 or 2 seconds you can hear mokie’s wife saying, “Aw, that’s so cute!”
Now for our feature presentation-
She’s a super-badass!
