Recently the Amazon gods bestowed upon me gifts of incalculable value. First and foremost, big thanks to the person who got me the Monster Nation book. You can never go wrong with zombie fiction! Woot!
By the way, if the person who sent me Monster Nation could send me a quick email, I’d really appreciate it. I just want to say thanks.
I was also quite happy to get the perfect shirt in which to consume nog:
Thanks Bekah! Bekah was also kind enough to inform me that I shouldn’t under any circumstances try to eat the shirt.
Finally, tfg sent me this, with the understanding that I would be eating some of it.
Thanks for the candle, jerkass.
For those of you interested in meeting me in the emergency room, I’ll be eating this candle on Saturday evening, December 9th. I’ll be sure to have an hilarious post, or an obituary, up on Monday. And for the record, I want my headstone to read, “He loved his nog like he loved his women, thick and frothy.”
No wait, that sounds horrible. How about, “He loved his zombies like he loved his women, dead and shambling.”? No. That’s the worst thing I’ve ever heard.
“Died Tragically Rescuing His Family From The Remains Of A Destroyed Sinking Battleship“? Nah, it’s been done.
It’ll probably just be, “Please don’t urinate on this headstone. Thank you, The Management.”
The crack showing on Santa is a nice touch.
It’s all in the details…
The ass crack on Santa is a nice touch.
It’s all in the details…
just in case you go first - the line will form for those who want to urinate on your gravestone - should we queue on the left or the right? And is it okay if we all eat asparagus the night before? And can you have your family set up a tent so the ladies will have some privacy?
Maybe you should just lick the candle? But honestly, if it’s a normal candle, isn’t just like eating chapstick or crayons?
i get the idea that acw ‘licks the candle’ fairly often, wink, wink, nudge, nudge
The candle will probably just taste like crayons, and I have a feeling that ACW has eaten a crayon or two before…
Glad you got the shirt! Merry Christmas & all that.
(And, Chunkey Monkey - the ass crack is my favorite part.)
How about “please pick up after your dog”? Although I think I like your idea better.
I think a better engraving would be, “Here lies a man who burned the candle at both ends.” After all, although you agreed to only a portion of it, you did promise to personally consume the remainder, as well.
i so love that movie.
lmk how the book is — might pick it up for some january reading (or, you could give me your copy)
This will be some good live action ‘Jackass’ material for sure. :)
Snay- No way, man. It took you almost a year to get me my Zombie Survival Guide back.
You probably know about this, but I haven’t seen it mentioned: “The annual Great Fell’s Point Eggnog Contest takes place in the shops of participating
Merchants” this Saturday, Dec. 9th. http://www.fellspointdevelopment.com/holiday06.html