This was actually my first nog purchase of the season. Mrs. ACW and I were idly traipsing around the store (actually, to be honest, we weren’t idly traipsing at all. Mrs. ACW has this set method of shopping, and it includes getting produce first, non-perishable items second, frozen food third, dairy fourth, and meats last. It’s just the opposite of idle, it’s OCD) when we came across the holiday food display set up on the endcap of the dairy aisle. I was trying to find Pumpkin Spice flavoring for Mrs. ACW (she really loves that stuff. Once, I saw her measure it out in 4 thin lines before snorting each one. For the next two days it was like kissing someone who had just eaten some pumpkin pie. She’s got a problem. Not like me and my nog though, we’re fine. I mean, I’m fine.) and by some chance, they not only had two kinds of pumpkin spice flavoring, but they also had eggnog flavoring!
I figured the eggnog flavoring would hold me over until the harder stuff real eggnog hit store shelves. I don’t really drink coffee though, so I was at an impasse.
We bought our crap (and shoplifted some candybars from the checkout aisle, because I have serious, serious problems) and when we got home I started brewing Mrs. ACW a pot of coffee. Once the coffee was ready I added two tablespoons of eggnog flavoring (per the directions) and gave the coffee to my lovely wife.
I think Mrs. ACW best summed up her thoughts in the first word of her critique. “Blech, this tastes awful!” I sipped the coffee, and it was like drinking warm, bitter, old eggnog that had been made in a toilet tank and strained through a canvas sack of old jock straps. I figured something must have been wrong with the flavoring, so I poured a little into a shot glass and took a sip. It tasted fine (kind of like soapy bathwater with eggnog in it, but that’s what all Coffemate tastes like), so I poured myself about half a shot of it and went for a larger taste. Still fine. Still soapy bathwater.
On our next trip to the store I bought a box of instant hot chocolate mix, and once I had a cup of that pulled together I poured in some of the eggnog flavoring. Now THAT tasted good. It was like the eggnog latte from Starbucks, except I didn’t feel so effete. (Seriously, the few times I am actually holding a take-out cup from a coffee shop, I just want to punch myself in the face. How do you people walk around with those things and feel normal? Look, we’re friends, right? Right. You look like a douche with that stupid cup. There. I said it.) Anyway, Mrs. ACW went on to bastardize what was a perfectly fine eggnog substitute by adding marshmallow fluff to all of her eggnog hot chocolates since then, making them some sort of nogchocomallow (marshnoglate? chocmalnog?) drink that was perfect for children striving for early onset diabetes. It’s like a punch in the pancreas.
So, in conclusion, I wouldn’t recommend eggnog flavoring for coffee, but it is good with hot chocolate. However, this all begs the question: if you’re going to pour eggnog flavoring into your drink, why be a sissy about it? Just add real eggnog instead. The thing to remember this holiday season is that eggnog can be legitimately used as a substitute for milk. And not just in recipes, but in cereal too.
You crack me up. “A punch in the pancreas” too fucking funny.
Bloody hell, back on the nog AGAIN!
My god, is it really that time of year?
I saw some eggnog at Target so it looks like the stores are already stocking it. (I don’t remember the brand, but it seemed fairly generic.)
Nevermind…I see that you have picked up your supply for the day (I was a couple of days behind on your posts).
I was hoping for “punch in the ovaries”….a la Ron Burgandy.
OK, you seem to be all prepped for eggnog purchasing, but where is the accumulated stash of alcohol to go with said nog?
Well, I’m off to Target in a bit during my lunch break. I’ll probably walk around with my froofy starbucks Extra-venti-grande-supersized cup of marshnoglate. With extra froth and foam. Oh and my cell phone headset surgically attached to my ear. Because that looks even COOLER.
Dying. DYING.
I’m so excited about the return of the nog.
I bought that Nog flavored Coffeemate for my wife weeks ago, and she liked it. We (mostly me) have also gone through 2 quarts of nog already. What’s the problem, Pokey? ;-)
I respect Mrs. ACW’s method of shopping. I do the exact same thing. I bet she also puts her bread and eggs in the child seat thingy.
Mikey- Thanks, I kind of liked that line myself.
Deanne- Yep, and this time, it’s personal.
CM- Oh, I think I’ve had the Target nog before. Maybe not though, we’ll see.
Lo’tI- Alcohol only dilutes the delicious noggy flavor!
Supa- It’s the most wonderful time of the year.
CBK- For some reason it took them longer to get the nog out to us this year. Ken Jennings has had nog since October!
DL- Nope, she puts her purse in the child seat thingy. Bread and eggs are purchased last of all.
I’m developing a small crush on Mrs. ACW. I would like to check the box next to “ACW should write more about Mrs. ACW and her OCD”.
As far as the nog goes… GOOD LORD I hope the Eggnog Latte is on the menu before Thanksgiving. It’s only fair. Santa is already roosting at our local mall. Damn him.
Hahahaha! Chocmalnog!
Monkey- She’s SPOKEN FOR. However, I will try to blog about her idiosyncrasies more.
Justin- really? I preferred Marshnoglate.
Can’t. Breathe.
Hahaha!
The gingerbread syrup is good in hot chocolate too. I can’t believe that you can funnel all the crap in your head onto the keyboard and into the blog. Makes my day go by faster.
Jules- It’s just nog! Calm down!
DJ- Actually, it’s less of a funnel, and more of a forcible vomit.
We’ve had the real stuff on shelves since before Hallloween. I’m actually fresh off a 4-day weekend driven nog binge, and death would be welcome.
marshnoglate is the best word.
BEST.
Egg nog is meant to be drunk by itself and NOT added to anything unless it’s copious of rum.
Eggnog makes for a great base for French Toast:)
Oh, I’m sensing a holiday edition of cold cereal reviews coming on - eggnog instead of milk, it’s brilliant!! (Sorry, trinity67, I guess I’m just not a nog purist.)
I vote for marshnoglate.
I have never tried nog! I’m so gonna do that now. :)
If you could figure out how to thicken it up, nog would probably make an awesome doughtnut filling.
Eggnog on cereal?
I want to urp now.
Hmmm… I don’t know how you do it. I hate that stuff. Ick.
I betcha it would even be good for the milk/cream base for a Creme Brulee or a Flan… However, I wouldn’t recommend someone making homemade cheese or yogurt out of it…
Hell, if you had an icecream maker, toss a half gallon of nog in there. It’s got all of the components for a good icecream…
be on the lookout for Dulce De Leche Eggnog. Haven’t tried it but sounds like it might be worth trying
afterschool when i was 12 i would come home, crack an egg in a glass, add 2 tbs of sugar, 2 shakes of cinnamon, a splash of vanilla, and ice cold milk to fill the glass… that was my afterschool treat for myself. even in summer. mmmm nogtastic.
Noggy French Toast! YUMMY! I’ll have to try the coffeemate eggnog stuff, I can’t stand black coffee.