The other day I was on the phone with my brother, Mokie, and when he ended the conversation, it went something like this:
ACW: So, I guess maybe we’ll see you guys later.
Mokie: Okay, sounds good.
ACW: Alright, bye.
Mokie: Okay, I love you, b…
ACW: Ha ha ha! Did you just say “I love you”?
Mokie: Wow. Yeah. I’m really tired, I just got out of work.
ACW: Ha ha! You’re an incestumo.*
Mokie: Whatever, I’m tired, shut up.
ACW: What? You don’t love your brother?
Mokie: What?
ACW: I’m your brother! You don’t love me?
Mokie: Whatever. I slipped and ended the call like I was talking to my wife.
ACW: I love YOU. I can’t believe you can’t say you love your own brother.
Mokie: Well, I do love you like a brother.
ACW: Incestumo.
Mokie: Whatever, jerk. Bye.
Then he hung up. I went about my business, and then the phone rang again. I checked the ID and it was Mokie again. We have this thing where we’ll call the other one back long enough to shout an epithet into the phone before hanging up. It’s really infuriating. Try it on someone you know. As soon as they say “Hello” yell something like “cockeater” and then immediately hang up. Their brain won’t have formulated a response until well after the call has been dropped, leaving them impotent. Their only recourse is to try to do the same thing to the person who just did it to them, but it never works because as soon as you see their name in the caller ID, you don’t answer with “Hello” which is what they’re waiting for, but instead answer with “You are the one who is a cockeater!” and then hang up again. This again catches them so off guard that their only recourse is to kill themselves. This is what I was planning on doing to Mokie.
ACW: You are the incestumo!
Mokie: What the hell? Oh Jesus…
ACW: What?
Mokie: I meant to call my wife, not you again.
ACW: Ha ha ha ha! The next time I see you I’m going to tape my butthole closed just in case you mistake me for your wife you incestumo.
Mokie: I’m tired!
ACW: Whatever. Bye.
Mokie: Bye.
ACW: Incestumo.
Then I hung up.
*Incest + homosexual = incestumo.
It’s true that our language is evolving - “incestumo” will be a part of mainstream conversation before too long. The anon. cwrkr. will have documented proof of the origin of the word. Future generations will look back on these archives in awe.
It’s great to be a witness to history in the making.
You and your brother are funny as hell.
I hate you with the white-hot, fiery passion of a thousand suns.
When I was in high school, one of my guy friends did this to one of his male friends. Just threw out the ‘I love you, bye.”
And then claimed to be “talking to his dog.”
!
Since we were 14, we got a lot of mileage out of it.
Back in the day, my homies and I would plan our weekly beer binges via several Friday afternoon phone calls. There was always one arsehole who would call and say something along the lines of:
“Don’t you hate it when someone calls you up for no reason at all.”
The joker would then hang up.
This post reminds me that there a couple of jagasses I need to return a favor.
I come here for all of my Oxford English Dictionary needs. Thank you.
Wow, I’m shocked! I never pegged you as being such a big incestumophobic (say that 5x fast).
It’s 2006, dude. Lose the hate.
Hmm.. I thought your butthole was already taped closed, explaining why so much shit comes out of your mouth.
(Yes, my complete lack of self-esteem allows me to take the easy shots every time)
can i be your adopted sister?
i’d fit right in.
Oh Dog, Kendra, you’ve done it now, opened up a whole new avenue of incestuous commenting.
You’d fit right in, eh Kendra?
Actually, the heterosexuality that pun implies makes me uncomfortable. Let’s crank up the gay around here.
I’m going to try that game with my sister.
I love you, man. Does that make me a hoblogmo?
Incest is best.
I peed a little bit when I read this…
you evil little bastard.
You two are like Mark Cutback Davis and Bob Jungle Death Girard, and we all know about them. Or maybe I’m the only one who’ll get that reference.
thats hilarious!!!! i better try it out now….
I always thought it was homoincestual, but I can’t think of a good way to shorten that.
I remember saying I love you once to a friend when ending a call and just hanging up in embarrassment, I don’t think he heard, as he didn’t mention it. Or maybe he just feels to uncomfortable around me to bring it up… On a similar note I once called a teacher Mum. That nearly ended me.
You guys are too funny! Wish I had that much fun with my brother!!!
I’m so glad you harass your other brother more than me. I know I’ve said “I love you” to someone over the phone accidentally before, I just forge who.
Nice job on the fake wiki, btw.
I grew up in all those tiny small towns- but for towns that were even smaller we used to have these sayings for them that fits this post well:
“If you can’t keep it in your pants, keep it in the family”
Yeah, it’s that funny.
Dude, are you two sick bastards from West Virginia or what?
You been in legal trouble lately?
http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/tribunereview/news/west...
Thank you for helping me to understand men. Really.
THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID.
CHOCOLATE CAKE.
Never in the history of Baltimore dare I say the world was there ever a funnier night than Friday.
I have to agree, your bro is teetering on the edge of gay world. HAHAHAHHAH
THATS WHAT SHE SAID.
I am up by two.
What you need is a sister.