The other day I was on the phone with my brother, Mokie, and when he ended the conversation, it went something like this:
ACW: So, I guess maybe we’ll see you guys later.
Mokie: Okay, sounds good.
ACW: Alright, bye.
Mokie: Okay, I love you, b…
ACW: Ha ha ha! Did you just say “I love you”?
Mokie: Wow. Yeah. I’m really tired, I just got out of work.
ACW: Ha ha! You’re an incestumo.*
Mokie: Whatever, I’m tired, shut up.
ACW: What? You don’t love your brother?
Mokie: What?
ACW: I’m your brother! You don’t love me?
Mokie: Whatever. I slipped and ended the call like I was talking to my wife.
ACW: I love YOU. I can’t believe you can’t say you love your own brother.
Mokie: Well, I do love you like a brother.
ACW: Incestumo.
Mokie: Whatever, jerk. Bye.
Then he hung up. I went about my business, and then the phone rang again. I checked the ID and it was Mokie again. We have this thing where we’ll call the other one back long enough to shout an epithet into the phone before hanging up. It’s really infuriating. Try it on someone you know. As soon as they say “Hello” yell something like “cockeater” and then immediately hang up. Their brain won’t have formulated a response until well after the call has been dropped, leaving them impotent. Their only recourse is to try to do the same thing to the person who just did it to them, but it never works because as soon as you see their name in the caller ID, you don’t answer with “Hello” which is what they’re waiting for, but instead answer with “You are the one who is a cockeater!” and then hang up again. This again catches them so off guard that their only recourse is to kill themselves. This is what I was planning on doing to Mokie.
ACW: You are the incestumo!
Mokie: What the hell? Oh Jesus…
ACW: What?
Mokie: I meant to call my wife, not you again.
ACW: Ha ha ha ha! The next time I see you I’m going to tape my butthole closed just in case you mistake me for your wife you incestumo.
Mokie: I’m tired!
ACW: Whatever. Bye.
Mokie: Bye.
ACW: Incestumo.
Then I hung up.
*Incest + homosexual = incestumo.
