Wow. I just heard my first Panic! At The Disco song and there isn’t another song banal enough to drive their ear-shrapnel from my brain. It’s A Small World After All comes close, but it just doesn’t take itself seriously enough to compare with Shitty! at the Disco. They suck so much they could take the chrome off a trailer hitch. They make black holes look like a hooker on her first day.
I mean, I guess Asswind! at the Disco isn’t the worst thing I’ve ever heard on the radio. I remember once they had that Emergency Broadcast System test and it kept going and going instead of stopping after 30 seconds. That was slightly worse than Cockbags! at the Disco, but only because I didn’t have time to listen to the extended mix of the EBS fully. I had to get out of my car before it was over.
I guess the thing that really irks me about Irritable Bowel Movement! at the Disco is not just how horrible their music is (and believe me, it’s worse than Satan bringing bagpipes to life and assfucking them into eternity with his barbed and magma hot phallus while you’re forced to listen to their unholy screams) but it’s also that unfuckingnecessary exclamation point in the grammatical abortion that is their band name. Now, as clever goes, Smegma! at the Disco certainly rates as “will blow a hipster’s mind” but that’s not really saying much. Hipsters have their minds blown frequently. Unfortunately the mind blowing is never permanent, and never self-inflicted via firearm.
So Dickqueefs! at the Disco, you can Lickballs! in my Pants.
Oh, and for all you aging alternative rockers cheering on this tirade, Stone Temple Pilots sucked 10 years ago, and they still suck today.
(That’s the last time I listen to the radio for another year.)
Sadly, My daughter now has a poster of Douchebags! at the Disco hanging on her wall. Might be OK for a 12 YO. But, I’ll agree with your evaluation of their suckage.
Gawd, music has really been sucking since I’ve grown older. *sigh*
ACW,
I nearly choked on my coffee reading that. Hilarious, absolutely hilarious.
I will have to respectfully disagree with you on STP, though. (I just so happened to be listening to “Sour Girl” while reading…)
lol…
acw, you and the cheese are certainly sticking it to the hipsters this week…
Are you saying you’ve never heard anything by Blue October? I can easily take Assbaggery and the Discoteque compared to that bullshit “Hate Me.” I really have to agree with the youtube poster. It is, in fact, the greastest tune in the world.
Holy fuck, I am Tittering! at my Desk, practically Peeing! in my Pants because this is one funny post! A couple Cohorts! in the Cubefarm are poking their heads up wondering what is so goddamn funny over here…
Really, though, I thought they were that other ass-weasel band Fall Out Boy… They both must blow goats to get the same vocal prowess!
but it’s also that unfuckingnecessary exclamation point in the grammatical abortion that is their band name.
It’s so hilarious I don’t even have a witty comeback. Fuck! me, I’m a loser.
Hear, hear! to trashing all that pseudo-emo shit.
And aging rockers would be more likely to trumpet the virtues of Nirvana or Pearl Jam over STP. But I don’t want to get you started on Pearl Jam again. ;-)
Praise be ACW! Yay verily, thou speakest the truth.
Monkey Poop! At the Disco indeed.
Prolapsed Uterus! at the Disco sounds like yet another of the horrifyingly self-absorbed idiots with guitars to avoid in my never-ending quest to NEVER again purchase music recorded after 1990.
Sic Semper Hipsterus.
i agree with mokie.
and what about that shi*t band “hinder” who keep saying how much they want to bring back rock?
if by rock you mean total crap, and by total crap you mean even worse than creed.
I really think they should have used a semi-colon. OR, an ellipses. No one uses those anymore.
I am right there with you on this one. And, as horrible as it is to hear their songs on the radio, I had the misfortune of flipping the channels recently and coming upon one of their videos. Good Christ on a biscuit and everything that holy, that Spongee My Monkey! At the Disco was some scary looking group!!!
Eeek!
To each his own, I guess…I am disapointed in you, though.
I love XM.
I’d say something wittier, however, upon reaching “Irritable Bowel Movement,” I could not time my reading pleasure more perfectly, when COINCIDENTALLY I heart a glurbleling noise emanating from my gut, and a simultaneous sphincter clench…
On that note, I have to defile the office washroom… Yay me! It’s AFTER the cleaning drones have been here:)
Good times:)
[Getting back from the loo...]
HearD, not hearT.
“…but it’s also that unfuckingnecessary exclamation point in the grammatical abortion that is their band name.”
That used to be my favorite line in this post. Until of course, I read this:
“Oh, and for all you aging alternative rockers cheering on this tirade, Stone Temple Pilots sucked 10 years ago, and they still suck today.”
Thank you for letting me revel in today’s muscial suckage.
Unrelated but: Why did I think I was on your blogroll? I’m getting senile.
Karlababble.com IS in the blogroll- his blogroll displays fifteen random entries every time someone visits the page. Keep refreshing and you’ll eventually see your name in the list.
Thanks, Mokie.
Hmm. I think I’d like to have an affair with you, just so I could hear myself murmuring, “Don’t stop, Mokie, don’t stop…..”
Um, ew.