Comments on: It’s like “This is Your Life” http://www.anonymouscoworker.com/2006/08/29/its-like-this-is-your-life/ It's over! Mon, 08 Sep 2008 01:05:50 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.1 By: Crunchy BC http://www.anonymouscoworker.com/2006/08/29/its-like-this-is-your-life/#comment-3310 Crunchy BC Thu, 31 Aug 2006 15:50:49 +0000 http://www.anonymouscoworker.com/2006/08/29/its-like-this-is-your-life/#comment-3310 To Whom It May Concern: Please note that the lunchroom is a common area shared by all employees in this office. As such, any food items you may cook (or overcook) affects the air quality and overall symbiotic environment in which we are all required to work. Therefore, I ask that you PLEASE make a special effort to refrain from cooking highly pungent food items or burning food items (such as popcorn). Thank you for your consideration. P.S. By the way, this also applies to the setting on fire of diseased, maggot-infested corpses, extinguishing them with an arc of your own piss, and then snacking on the charred remains - something Bob apparently did only a few moments ago. Let's all try to offer him some friendly reminders. To Whom It May Concern:

Please note that the lunchroom is a common area shared by all employees in this office. As such, any food items you may cook (or overcook) affects the air quality and overall symbiotic environment in which we are all required to work. Therefore, I ask that you PLEASE make a special effort to refrain from cooking highly pungent food items or burning food items (such as popcorn).

Thank you for your consideration.

P.S. By the way, this also applies to the setting on fire of diseased, maggot-infested corpses, extinguishing them with an arc of your own piss, and then snacking on the charred remains - something Bob apparently did only a few moments ago. Let’s all try to offer him some friendly reminders.

]]> By: Anonymous Coworker http://www.anonymouscoworker.com/2006/08/29/its-like-this-is-your-life/#comment-3309 Anonymous Coworker Thu, 31 Aug 2006 15:15:34 +0000 http://www.anonymouscoworker.com/2006/08/29/its-like-this-is-your-life/#comment-3309 Mr. Friendly- Not bad! Mr. Friendly- Not bad!

]]> By: Mr. Friendly http://www.anonymouscoworker.com/2006/08/29/its-like-this-is-your-life/#comment-3308 Mr. Friendly Thu, 31 Aug 2006 02:41:43 +0000 http://www.anonymouscoworker.com/2006/08/29/its-like-this-is-your-life/#comment-3308 Dear Burning Bag of Popcorn Asshat, Despite the Mexican instructions on the popcorn bag, I thought most of the non-retard world was quite aware of the microwave procedures. For your edification, sorry learntation (that is edification in retardese), I will help you. 1.) Do not slobber on bag prior to cooking. 2,) Take the plastic off bag without slobbering 3.) Place bag in microwave. Wipe up any stray slobber mouth breather. 4.) Turn microwave on. DO NOT WALK AWAY. Do not prepare any other treats. Do not go to the head for your post lunch half hour shat. Just stay by the microwave. Hopefully the result twofold: a HOT bag of non-burnt popcorn AND sterilization. P.S. Don't slobber on microwave. 5.) At the sound of the ding, slobber away. But please do so in the privacy of your own basement cell. How did the new guy do? Dear Burning Bag of Popcorn Asshat,
Despite the Mexican instructions on the popcorn bag, I thought most of the non-retard world was quite aware of the microwave procedures. For your edification, sorry learntation (that is edification in retardese), I will help you.
1.) Do not slobber on bag prior to cooking.
2,) Take the plastic off bag without slobbering
3.) Place bag in microwave. Wipe up any stray slobber mouth breather.
4.) Turn microwave on. DO NOT WALK AWAY. Do not prepare any other treats. Do not go to the head for your post lunch half hour shat. Just stay by the microwave. Hopefully the result twofold: a HOT bag of non-burnt popcorn AND sterilization. P.S. Don’t slobber on microwave.
5.) At the sound of the ding, slobber away. But please do so in the privacy of your own basement cell.

How did the new guy do?

]]> By: Antonio http://www.anonymouscoworker.com/2006/08/29/its-like-this-is-your-life/#comment-3307 Antonio Thu, 31 Aug 2006 01:22:05 +0000 http://www.anonymouscoworker.com/2006/08/29/its-like-this-is-your-life/#comment-3307 Wow, didn't expect my submission to deter everyone. I'm glad people like it. :-D Wow, didn’t expect my submission to deter everyone. I’m glad people like it. :-D

]]> By: tfg http://www.anonymouscoworker.com/2006/08/29/its-like-this-is-your-life/#comment-3306 tfg Wed, 30 Aug 2006 22:47:36 +0000 http://www.anonymouscoworker.com/2006/08/29/its-like-this-is-your-life/#comment-3306 No, thanks. Last time I "won" one of your contests, all I got was a dose of the clap. No, thanks. Last time I “won” one of your contests, all I got was a dose of the clap.

]]> By: CBK http://www.anonymouscoworker.com/2006/08/29/its-like-this-is-your-life/#comment-3305 CBK Wed, 30 Aug 2006 22:04:57 +0000 http://www.anonymouscoworker.com/2006/08/29/its-like-this-is-your-life/#comment-3305 Thanks, Johnny Dollar. My faith in humanity is (temporarily) restored. I was so pleased when "Two Sheds" made it into <a href="http://spamusement.com/index.php/comics/view/323" rel="nofollow">this hilarious Spamusement cartoon</a>. Thanks, Johnny Dollar. My faith in humanity is (temporarily) restored. I was so pleased when “Two Sheds” made it into this hilarious Spamusement cartoon.

]]> By: Jules http://www.anonymouscoworker.com/2006/08/29/its-like-this-is-your-life/#comment-3304 Jules Wed, 30 Aug 2006 20:14:30 +0000 http://www.anonymouscoworker.com/2006/08/29/its-like-this-is-your-life/#comment-3304 I've got nuthin'. Fuck. I’ve got nuthin’. Fuck.

]]> By: Anonymous Coworker http://www.anonymouscoworker.com/2006/08/29/its-like-this-is-your-life/#comment-3303 Anonymous Coworker Wed, 30 Aug 2006 19:34:02 +0000 http://www.anonymouscoworker.com/2006/08/29/its-like-this-is-your-life/#comment-3303 j$- sublime! j$- sublime!

]]> By: johnny dollar http://www.anonymouscoworker.com/2006/08/29/its-like-this-is-your-life/#comment-3302 johnny dollar Wed, 30 Aug 2006 18:38:04 +0000 http://www.anonymouscoworker.com/2006/08/29/its-like-this-is-your-life/#comment-3302 cbk: arthur "two sheds" jackson??? cbk: arthur “two sheds” jackson???

]]> By: Mickey http://www.anonymouscoworker.com/2006/08/29/its-like-this-is-your-life/#comment-3301 Mickey Wed, 30 Aug 2006 18:12:49 +0000 http://www.anonymouscoworker.com/2006/08/29/its-like-this-is-your-life/#comment-3301 There is no one....NO ONE who could measure up to the shit you pull outta your head. Thank goodness. Antonio scared a little pee outta me. There is no one….NO ONE who could measure up to the shit you pull outta your head. Thank goodness.

Antonio scared a little pee outta me.

]]> By: CBK http://www.anonymouscoworker.com/2006/08/29/its-like-this-is-your-life/#comment-3300 CBK Wed, 30 Aug 2006 18:06:34 +0000 http://www.anonymouscoworker.com/2006/08/29/its-like-this-is-your-life/#comment-3300 Antonio's is good. A little over the top, I'd say, but certainly better than I could do. I love the "eleven" in your leet. And your real name wouldn't by any chance be "Arthur Jackson", would it? (Please, someone get that.) Antonio’s is good. A little over the top, I’d say, but certainly better than I could do.

I love the “eleven” in your leet.

And your real name wouldn’t by any chance be “Arthur Jackson”, would it? (Please, someone get that.)

]]> By: johnny dollar http://www.anonymouscoworker.com/2006/08/29/its-like-this-is-your-life/#comment-3299 johnny dollar Wed, 30 Aug 2006 17:41:35 +0000 http://www.anonymouscoworker.com/2006/08/29/its-like-this-is-your-life/#comment-3299 my quickie: "hey you uncategorized work money, the zombies' horror about your necrophilia bitches jokes certainly contests potty humor. nerd stuff at happy hour? word nerd? i was meta blogging Mrs. ACW with beer at the movies, and your games with the devil cat is a suhmuhmuh bitch! travel if jesus is fo’ shizzle per your atheism! food music is art. sex?" my quickie:

“hey you uncategorized work money, the zombies’ horror about your necrophilia bitches jokes certainly contests potty humor. nerd stuff at happy hour? word nerd? i was meta blogging Mrs. ACW with beer at the movies, and your games with the devil cat is a suhmuhmuh bitch! travel if jesus is fo’ shizzle per your atheism! food music is art. sex?”

]]> By: Stick http://www.anonymouscoworker.com/2006/08/29/its-like-this-is-your-life/#comment-3298 Stick Wed, 30 Aug 2006 16:59:22 +0000 http://www.anonymouscoworker.com/2006/08/29/its-like-this-is-your-life/#comment-3298 I think Antonio says, "fuck" a lot. Almost too much really. I'm not crazy about that word. I'd compete, but right now, I'm just too fuckin' tired. I think Antonio says, “fuck” a lot. Almost too much really. I’m not crazy about that word. I’d compete, but right now, I’m just too fuckin’ tired.

]]> By: Bekah http://www.anonymouscoworker.com/2006/08/29/its-like-this-is-your-life/#comment-3297 Bekah Wed, 30 Aug 2006 15:53:52 +0000 http://www.anonymouscoworker.com/2006/08/29/its-like-this-is-your-life/#comment-3297 I think if Antonio would guest-blog, we'd probably never know the difference. I think if Antonio would guest-blog, we’d probably never know the difference.

]]> By: jali http://www.anonymouscoworker.com/2006/08/29/its-like-this-is-your-life/#comment-3296 jali Wed, 30 Aug 2006 15:02:21 +0000 http://www.anonymouscoworker.com/2006/08/29/its-like-this-is-your-life/#comment-3296 I vote for Antonio too, although my vote actually counts for shit - just like my vote in the pesidential election, thank you very much electoral college representatives who may or may not vote the way of the people. Shit. I vote for Antonio too, although my vote actually counts for shit - just like my vote in the pesidential election, thank you very much electoral college representatives who may or may not vote the way of the people.

Shit.

]]> By: Anonymous Coworker http://www.anonymouscoworker.com/2006/08/29/its-like-this-is-your-life/#comment-3295 Anonymous Coworker Wed, 30 Aug 2006 13:38:54 +0000 http://www.anonymouscoworker.com/2006/08/29/its-like-this-is-your-life/#comment-3295 Antonio's is good, but there is certainly room for other contenders to take a stab at it. Antonio’s is good, but there is certainly room for other contenders to take a stab at it.

]]> By: Mr. Friendly http://www.anonymouscoworker.com/2006/08/29/its-like-this-is-your-life/#comment-3294 Mr. Friendly Wed, 30 Aug 2006 01:55:12 +0000 http://www.anonymouscoworker.com/2006/08/29/its-like-this-is-your-life/#comment-3294 Fuggin contest is over. Nice job Antoinio. Fuggin contest is over.

Nice job Antoinio.

]]> By: Rusty http://www.anonymouscoworker.com/2006/08/29/its-like-this-is-your-life/#comment-3293 Rusty Wed, 30 Aug 2006 00:57:29 +0000 http://www.anonymouscoworker.com/2006/08/29/its-like-this-is-your-life/#comment-3293 I could never, ever top Antonio's submission. That was awesome. He even said "goat-humping"! That alone makes it an ACW-ish post. I could never, ever top Antonio’s submission. That was awesome. He even said “goat-humping”! That alone makes it an ACW-ish post.

]]> By: Antonio http://www.anonymouscoworker.com/2006/08/29/its-like-this-is-your-life/#comment-3292 Antonio Tue, 29 Aug 2006 20:03:28 +0000 http://www.anonymouscoworker.com/2006/08/29/its-like-this-is-your-life/#comment-3292 My submission: Hey fuckstain, thanks for burning up your popcorn in the lunch room. No really, I love smell of burnt sphincter as it slowly makes it way down to my cubicle. And I'm sure you absolutely had to have popcorn, after all it's been two whole hours since your fat smelly ass pushed the limits of the "all-you-can-eat" buffet at Horsemeat China garden. The grease stains on your 50-inch-waist pants were getting lonely, I understand. Fuck is wrong with you? The goddamn microwave has a fucking popcorn setting yet your goat-humping, hillbilly ass still managed to fuck it up! Maybe you should stick to simple stuff. We all know you have the dish of peanut M&M's in your cube which needs filling up every week despite the fact no one can tolerate that mysterious nacho cheese odor that emanates from your torso. Besides, you get winded walking down the hallway as your lungs have to work hard to expand with your 75-pound mantits weighing them down. Stay in your fucking cube so the company can contain gassy, incompetent, fat posterior for the sake of those of us who use soap, you goddamn fire hazard! My submission:

Hey fuckstain, thanks for burning up your popcorn in the lunch room. No really, I love smell of burnt sphincter as it slowly makes it way down to my cubicle. And I’m sure you absolutely had to have popcorn, after all it’s been two whole hours since your fat smelly ass pushed the limits of the “all-you-can-eat” buffet at Horsemeat China garden. The grease stains on your 50-inch-waist pants were getting lonely, I understand.

Fuck is wrong with you? The goddamn microwave has a fucking popcorn setting yet your goat-humping, hillbilly ass still managed to fuck it up! Maybe you should stick to simple stuff. We all know you have the dish of peanut M&M’s in your cube which needs filling up every week despite the fact no one can tolerate that mysterious nacho cheese odor that emanates from your torso. Besides, you get winded walking down the hallway as your lungs have to work hard to expand with your 75-pound mantits weighing them down. Stay in your fucking cube so the company can contain gassy, incompetent, fat posterior for the sake of those of us who use soap, you goddamn fire hazard!

]]> By: Anonymous Coworker http://www.anonymouscoworker.com/2006/08/29/its-like-this-is-your-life/#comment-3291 Anonymous Coworker Tue, 29 Aug 2006 19:37:23 +0000 http://www.anonymouscoworker.com/2006/08/29/its-like-this-is-your-life/#comment-3291 What my blog post would say afterwards. What my blog post would say afterwards.

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