Having been married for a month, I realize that things are beginning to change. People kept telling us that, “It’s different when you’re married,” and, “Being married changes everything,” and we thought those people didn’t really know what they were talking about. But now I’m beginning to understand that those people were right.
Take communication for example. Mrs. ACW and I always communicated pretty well, but now that we’re married, it’s become creepy how well we communicate. When Mrs. ACW goes to get something to drink, she always seems to know when I want something to drink as well, and she brings me a glass of whatever she’s having.
Or, here’s a better example. Last night I farted, and it was so nasally offensive that it actually woke Mrs. ACW from her sleep. She groggily complained about “seared nostrils” and “Satan’s butthole” and “the devil’s fiery, sulphuric ass is no comparison for the bed-burner you just forcibly sodomized my nose with”.
See, I was able to communicate with Mrs. ACW so well, and without even using words, that it stirred her from her sleep.
P.S. Everybody that told us things would change has been wrong. Nothing has changed except tax and insurance information.
