Currently, and much to my dismay, there are, and have been for the past few hours, two howler-monkeys hate-fucking the bejesus out of the backs of my eyeballs.
They spent their time earlier in the back position of my skull behind my right ear. Screaming and humping, abusively throwing shit at one another when the orgasms never came.
I tried to drown them with water, but apparently it just made them horny, and if you had seen me at about 2 o’clock, I would have been squinting and saying, “eh?” as the monkeys strapped on steel-tipped dildos of doom, and straight jungle-fucked my skull until I passed out from the pain.
I’m pretty sure they’re trying to give me a brain tumor. The good news is, two angry howler monkeys could hump my brain into mush before I developed a tumor. That’s also the bad news.
I sent three Bayer in after the monkeys, but I think the monkeys may have captured them, dug a pit, shoved them into it, and then pissed on their heads. I wouldn’t be surprised if a undigested Bayer was forced out of my tear duct with a message written on it by the monkeys. “Evict this you pantywaist piece of shit,” it would probably say. Then they’d pound me until the seizures started.
Maybe they’d leave after the seizures caused me to release the contents of my bladder and anus into the inside of my suitpants, but who can guess what those crazy monkeys would do or not do?
