I had my bachelor party on Saturday, and all in all, I think it went pretty well. In fact, I know it did. Many women out there don’t know what the barometer is for a good baceholr party. You ladies probably think it ranges somewhere in the area of strippers shooting ping-pong balls out of their vaginas while all the guys sit around crocheting doilies. Well that might be YOUR idea of fun, but I know I’ve had a good bachelor party when one of my friends launches an half-consumed bottle of Champale out the window of a moving Volkswagon as the automobile passes a police station.
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Yesterday I went out to lunch with my boss and some of my coworkers, and my boss drove. After lunch, as we were leaving the restaurant, it was pouring. So my boss hands me her keys and asks me to bring her car a little closer so she, and my other female coworkers, wouldn’t get as wet. And I would be lying if I didn’t say that I had a teeny-tiny, itsy-bitsy, Beatlemania-esque freakout. Her car. I pulled it up to the curb, and they all piled in, and she told me I could drive it back to the office if I didn’t flip it over. I told her that I couldn’t make any promises because I had drinking since 6am. I think she pooped her pants a little when I peeled out.
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I’m getting to the point in the wedding planning where I want to answer all questions by saying, “Whatever. Fuck it. I don’t care.” If anyone ever tells you that a wedding is a romantic and wonderful time for the bride and groom, laugh in their face and punch them in the nuts for me.
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I’m finally getting my new computer. (It’ll be nice to not have to reboot this piece of shit 7 times a day. I think I might just take a steaming dump in the CD drive before we pitch the piece of shit out of a moving Volkswagon in front of the police station) It’s an iMac. I know a lot of people are Mac zealots or Windows wankers, and I don’t want to hear it from any of you people. The only reason I asked for the Mac is because a) two of my coworkers have Macs, and this will make it easier for us to exchange and edit the various image files we use, and b) I’m going to be installing Final Cut Pro to do some after hours editing. I think I’m finally going to be able to make my own porno. For my first film, I’m attempting what will end up looking like a cinematic cross between Kangaroo Jack and 99 Nurse Orgy. I’m not sure what to call it.
Congratulations on, y’know, the chain … the ball …
“Nurse Jack and the 99 Kangaroo Orgy” ?
My mouth ALWAYS thinks it’s Saturday night.
So when is the big, romantic, and wonderful day?
will it be fat and greek? :D
I hope the big day goes off without a hitch…well, except for the one between you and ACWF.
I’ve only been married for about 6 Months. All I remember from that day was being late to the ceremony, not getting my husbands contacts to him, my friends not showing up because they are losers, putting his wedding ring on the wrong hand during the vows….
But..If you ask any person who attended they will automaticlly say, “It was beautiful” and “The bride and groom did such a great job–it was great” or my fav–”The food was to die for”
We pulled the whole thing off ourselves (to save an asston of money) with a lot of DIY….and, well….Romantic? Not a thing romantic about it. Cool? Yeah. It was EXACTLY the way my husband and I wanted it to be.
Hang in there and congrats.
oh, and resign yourself to this: The day will be a clusterfuck. Trust me. No one else will notice, though. Especially when they hit the open bar.
exactly right on the whole wedding planning thing. and i don’t remember a thing about mine-people told me it was nice.
Elope.
That iMac is awesome. I’m using the new MacBook right now-love it.
There’s nothing romantic about the wedding planning phase… I’ll give you that. Perhaps I’m a bit jaded about weddings… that they’re all an illusion… the marriage itself is the hard part. And from what I’ve read of your blog and of ACF, you both seem happily together, and that’s all that counts:)
Drink up! Enjoy your big day:)
Congrats! I came over from Poppy’s blog.
RE:If anyone ever tells you that a wedding is a romantic and wonderful time for the bride and groom, laugh in their face and punch them in the nuts for me.
Two words: Destination Wedding. Best thing I ever did. And even though it was zero stress, like Lori, I have no idea what happened from the time I stepped out of the carriage in Jackson Square to when we took pictures after the ceremony. Good thing my brother videoed it!