Every now and then a company comes along that makes you evaluate the way you look at for-profit, hand-over fist money making.
Anybody can be Papa John’s. Anybody can tell their customers that they make fresh sauce, never from a can, and then pour that canned sauce all over a shitty pizza and sell it to them for 13 dollars.
Anybody can be Abercrombie. Anybody can make shitty clothes that look worn out before you even purchase them, and then sell you those thrift store clothes at ridiculous prices.
But Neighborhoodies was different. When you ordered something from them, it was like ordering from your friend. If they couldn’t do it by the date you requested it, they’d send an email saying, “Dude, we fucked up. We won’t charge shipping if we finish it late.”
Their packages always included handwritten notes. When I got ACWF a shirt that said, “Baltimore” across the boobs, the note said, “B-more in the house! [Heart] Nick at Neighborhoodies”. And when I got my friend a hoody that said, “Bat Masterson Junior High” Neighborhoodies sent a note saying, “Wtf? [Heart] Neighborhoodies”.
But now Neighborhoodies has jumped the shark, if that’s even possible. They’ve gone all retarded and decided to participate in the cultural footnote that is this year’s American Idol winner.
I have two problems with this. 1) An American Idol winner co-opted by annoying yupsters and hipsters makes American Idol all the more nauseating. Now, not only do I have to hear about how American Idol doesn’t suck gigantic, sweaty gorilla balls, but I also have to hear it from fucking hipsters who want ironic, or clever, or droll, or whatever idiotic bullshit they’re pulling these days. (Are hipsters still saying they look “Clutch” if they intentionally dress themselves poorly to look “good”? Incidentally, one of the reasons that I loved Neighborhoodies at first sight, is that their main page featured a guy in a shirt that read, “Die hipsters die”. Hipsters ruin everything.)
2) To quote Tbogg’s post, here:
I would like to suggest that anyone who, in any public setting, uses the term “soul” or “soul patrol” in reference to that…thing called Taylor Hicks, be taken out an executed in the street. Wilson Pickett: soul singer. Solomon Burke: soul singer. Sam Cooke, James Brown, Al Green: all soul singers.
Taylor Hicks?: Karaoke Goober
I say that we start hunting these people down.
Do it for the children.
(Added) One more reason to hate America.
(Added…again) If anyone is interested, Ifuckinghatetaylorhicks.com is still available. You can thank me later.
So now what the hell am I supposed to do for custom-made t-shirts? You might think that this would be just a small infraction that I could overlook, but when I start a grudge, I hold it for life. You can ask Walmart about that one. Not because of any political reasons, no, that’s just an added benefit. I haven’t been to Walmart for the past 3 years because I was tired of waiting in line for 30 minutes while rude and idiotic people decided to abandon all indications of civilization a la Lord of the Flies. And now I’m rambling.
start your own custom t-shirt e-company?
(and you were always rambling. Like, since you started the blog.)
I’m with Zenchick. If there is an opening in marketplace, you should you fill it. BTW, this philosophy is also the key to a successful porn career.
When you fill that hole, remember that not everyone has a pair of tits that will fit in a standard sized t-shirt. Some of us needs us some 2x and 3x to cover the girls decently and we don’t want to just have ONE freakin’ choice (in the mens section) to cover it.
Stoopid Neighborhoodies.
I thought they said, “Snow Patrol” and not “Soul Patrol” so I watched that final episode thinking the awesome band was going to be on. I was confused why they would play on there but figured they had a good reason. I was so mad when I realized my mistake (and theirs.)
1. hipsters do ruin everything.
2. make it your own damn self. I mean, MIYODS. get ACWF to take you to the old lady sewing store and buy some iron-on letters. and maybe an iron.
there are totally other shirt places.
but, let me be the devil’s advocate here and remind you that one shitty t-shirt does not necessarily tarnish the whole neighborhoodies line, just as one ass can of nog does not sully nog as a whole.
i tailored my metaphor there. i hope you liked it.
I’m with tfg, who’s with zenchick. Watching the internal conflict that would result from your creating a successful capitalist venture would cause me mirth without end, amen.
I’m also with supa, in that hipsters DO ruin everything, unless you follow closely behind them with an industrial strength enzymatic stain remover. Rub their noses in it- it helps.
You can’t hate them for cashing in on a trend, man- they have to pay the bills.
Zenchick- Too much overhead.
tfg- I already have. You can see me in Porn/band epic “The Banana Hammocks go to Spring Break”
Serra- Duh. They only make one tiny size so that all boobs are practically exploding through the front of the shirt.
Scarlet- Clearly, you know my pain.
Supa- Funny that you should mention it, ACWF has made a shirt for me in the very process you describe. Maybe I’ll just do that from now on.
Kendra- Not one tshirt. Eight. They made eight fucking Taylor Hicks tshirts. After 8 bad nogs, I’d stop drinking it altogether.
Neckbone- Joke’s on you sucker. I’d use the money I’d make and give it right to the commies! Mwa ha ha ha ha!
And I don’t hate them for paying the bills, but I can certainly hate them for cashing in on a trend
It looks as though the models can hardly believe (or stomach) the fact that they are wearing those shirts…look at their faces.
boobies exloding through the front of t-shirts would make that entirely another type of website.
That is a company that when I first read about them I kicked myself for days for not thinking of it first. Grrrrrrr.
to act all goofy and hippie, i will say - namaste.
i don’t think taylor hicks has soul or sings very well. he is more white bread than wonder bread.
and hipsters… egads, if they populate hampden any more than they do i will have to blind myself.
Down with WalMart! Viva la Target!
Everyone always starts out with great intentions, but it seems human nature always lets ambitions rule. To be honest, it’s the American way. Think of all the great musicians and bands that start out like that. So different, so anti-music industry.
Then suddenly, they’re churning out pop bubblegum so they can buy mansions and have limo drivers named Mario.
Uh-huh. PJs doesn’t advertise their sauce “never from a can”, they advertise “never from a bag”, if I remember correctly, which is how Domino’s does it — slice open the bag, dump into a bucket, voila, pizza sauce. At PJs, we had to open several cans, pour it into a big bucket, then mix in some spices. They had these stupid “Papa Stories” printed on the sides of the sauce cans explaining how the tomatos were picked and mashed and canned fresh. Made no sense to me — only employees would read these, and why the fuck would the employees care?
True that some treasure boobies bursting forth in all their pornographic beauty, but the girls are delicate flowers, ACW. They need SOME space, especially at night in pajamas, which is why I went looking over there–I need some shirts to sleep in.
You wouldn’t put your boys in rubber bands at bedtime, would you?