I admit it. I judge people based on their race and ethnicity. And I frequently judge people on their religion and sexual orientation. In an attempt to try to understand and overcome my biases, I will outline what I find objectionable about each specific group, as I can recall them.
Irish- They drink too much Tang. Have you ever seen a bunch of Irishmen drinking together? They all have red/orange hair and beards. It’s from the Tang. They drink too much of it, and I hate them for it.
Korean- Always want an even number of chicken nuggets.
Italian- Will refuse to smile for a picture.
Argentine- Insist on sleeping with two pillows.
Russian- Buy old vacuum cleaners and fix them for their family members.
Christians- Keep flushing paper towels down the toilet.
Nigerians- Steal the last piece of the puzzle so no one else can finish it.
Germans- Keep peanut butter in the fridge.
Indians- Refuse to acknowledge any the googly jaffas when playing cricket.
Blacks- Always rolling down the windows in their cars.
Women- Drive with the radio up too loud.
Japanese- Can’t sit still for more than 7 hours.
Egyptian- Make three left turns instead of a right.
Finland- Eat fish with ketchup and mayonnaise
Congo- Can’t hold their liquor, always die after consuming 3 or more liters of whiskey.
Hindus- Their farts always smell bad, like an Irishman.
Mexicans- Give bad haircuts to their dolls.
Chinese- Don’t like cheddar cheese.
Longshoremen- Always have bad credit.
Klingons- Copy off each other on driving tests.
Pakistani- Have a strange love of Eminem.
Greeks- Always making jokes about punching old ladies.
Jews- They always answer the phone with their left-hands.
Left-handed people- Dumb, can’t drive, small penises, don’t speak English, nagging wives, responsible for most crime and illegitimate children in our country, smell bad, have sex through a hole in a sheet, eat babies, love fried chicken and watermelon, always on welfare, illegal immigrants, mostly employed as dishwashers and lawn-care workers, drink too much, always fighting, stingy, penny-pinching, slutty, animal-like, do drugs all the time, don’t bathe, worship strange gods, sodomize children.
Who did I forget?
