Well, we’ve had the new cat for about a week now, and things seem to be getting a little bit better. Sherlock has stopped his hissing and growling, and the new cat (Kitten, as we’ve taken to calling her) has stopped chopping off horse heads and putting them next to Sherlock while he sleeps. I thought it was weird too, but ACWF assured me it was normal feline behavior. I took her word for it, and then we went out to dinner with her huge Sicilian family.
Right now Sherlock and the Kitten have been sort of feeling out the house together. When Sherlock gets bored of following the Kitten around with his nose stuck up her butt (I always knew he was into coprophagia), he usually lets her wander without batting a single poop-encrusted whisker.
We’ve been trying to play with Sherlock all the more recently, so he doesn’t feel like he’s being replaced, but he hasn’t really been into it. He still chases jingle balls like a crackhead chases a dollar-bill caught in an updraft, but I can tell that his heart isn’t in it. Meanwhile, the Kitten has taken to setting up her “cathouse” in our living room. But not like you’re thinking, pervert. I meant a stable of whores with whom men can have sex for varying amounts of money.
So far the funniest thing has been when Sherlock sees the Kitten doing something he normally does. Like when the Kitten is laying on the steps and staring at the wall for no reason, or when the Kitten decides to fling poop out of the litterbox and onto the floor. Sherlock looks at her quizzically with is head tilted to the side as if to say, “Hey! I like sitting in the window and mentally devouring every squirrel, bird, and Jehovah Witness that I see too!”
So I hope they start getting along soon, because I could really use the money I know I’ll make from taking pictures of them posing with one another in Anne Geddes-type baby-cherub costumes in front of Thomas Kinkade backgrounds and then selling them on QVC for 9 easy payments of $75.95. You know those retards will pretty much buy anything if it’s got an angel or the lobotomized stylings of of that douchebag Kinkade.
okay, not to get all up in your grill with niceties or anything…but I really like the Paws Crossed picture. Very proper. Mr Kinkade would approve. Ha!
Now insert some glistening rays of light and shit and be done with it.
Thomas Kinkade is an artiste, philistine. He has brought “God’s light” into my living room, which is useful. I only get late afternoon sun, making it difficult to thumb through my porn and black magic manuals. God’s light is a nice, soft, indirect light. Perfect for my needs.
Oh! and i almost forgot….
Cat fag.
Patti- It’s weird, but that’s just how she likes to chill.
eebmore- …and the best part about using Kinkade for your needs is, when you’re done wiping, you’ve actually imroved the value of the art. Also, don’t I get some cred for the coprophagia link? Dag.
yes kitty legs crossed is uber cute…
and i don’t want to know what coprophagia is about..
after the short feline description the preceeded the link….I have to admit I didn’t click on it either.
*whew* the link is not that bad. My friend’s dog used to “coprophage” (the act of participating in coprophagia????) anyway….it would “do that” when it had an accident in the house. Always cracked me up because that same dog would always lick her face to get her up in the morning.
Damn, eebmore beat me to the punch on calling you a cat fag. ;-)
Were it not for the presence of ACWF (and the occasional post reminding us she does indeed exist), we would all think that you were a male version of the woman with a house full of cats. I am a little worried that you still might slip into the abyss.
That kitty looks pink. Very pretty, but curious. Is this normal kitty color or are you doing something strange to the poor thing?
If it makes chicks go “awwwwwww,” than you get no cred. amazingly, cats sticking their noses on one another’s asses melts chicks hearts. and yes, some men can be chicks too; and yes, some women are not chicks. “chicks” by my definition, is gender implicative, not gender definitive…
Chick. ;)
You’re calling the kitty Kitten? That’s the most uncreative thing I’ve ever heard of, and I’m ashamed of you. I knew a kid who named his kitty Puppy, just for shits and giggles, at least that’s more creative, and the KID WAS FOUR. Step it up, dude, step it up.
Yours is the second blog I’ve read this morning that mentions Thomas Kincaid, but it’s the first cat blog entry I’ve read. I’m sure there will be other cat blogs to read today, but since yours was first, it’s best.
I was once walking Sidekick’s dog with him out in a snowy park, and the dog hunkered down for release of the nastiest diarrhea ever. As if that weren’t nauseating enough, the dog immediately turned around, and started scarfing up the poo-soaked snow. Me and Sidekick started gagging, which we ultimately found to perhaps be a pretty amusing sight for anyone driving by at the time - big empty snowy park, dog gobbling up his diarrhea, and two dudes gagging over it.
:)
Nice pictures :) Is the carpet surviving? That’s a lot of claws.
Oh..don’t be surprised if you start finding some horse heads in your bed if you start dressing them up.
…like this ..that is bad
This kid I knew growing up (not me, I repeat…NOT me) had a friend (also not me) who named her dog Deohgee. I….I mean the kid I knew thought it was exotic and asked what it meant. That’s when the kid said (in front of EVERYONE I might add)….”it’s D……O…..G….like DOG ya retard”. Man…that kid I knew back then sure was embarassed.
yeah.
kitten needs a new name.
i suggest asking valancy jane, as she seems to be really good at this sort of thing.
or you could ask me.
Squeeeee! She’s a diluted Tortie! (That means: instead of black & orange, she’s grey & peach)! Here’s a tidbit: torties & calicos are [almost] always female, just like red tabbies are usually male. Just beautiful! Now, be warned, Tortoiseshell’s often have ATTITUDE.
I need a digital camera in which to record my kitty Porn. I have three of them suckers. One massively fat, other other a spaz. (we do not speak of the third, she is the keeper of my Daughter’s Relm)
Anyhow, I so love the paws crossed. Sitck that cat in a potted tulip plant or something. Cute.
Ha!
(That’s all I wanted to say. Ha. You’re funny.)
She’s a beaut!
I think p’nut hit upon the perfect name: Diluted Tortie she is.
But - you could have some fun with an internet naming competition. Best name wins the cat.
a Pussy Poll if you will….
Um is that a hotdog on the couch in the first picture?
I also was afraid to click the link to find out what coprophage was…everytime I click a link on this site I end up learning about some perverse sexual fettish that I never needed to know about…lol Maybe I will click it after all.
Jam
Ick, yep I did not need to know that..
ha…hahahaha…hahahhahahahahhahahaha
it’s wood trim.
Um…ACW? That’s not a kitten…that’s a CAT. Besides that, though, she’s gorgeous! I’m so glad you posted pictures. I don’t know what equipment Sherlock still has, but you might end up with a bunch of actual kittens running around your house if you’re not careful! I was waiting to find out what you named this little feline cherub, but I wasn’t expecting “Kitten”. I think maybe we’re ALL expecting something a bit better than Kitten! :)
In the second picture, it looks like your cat is blending in with the carpet. It’s like a chameleon cat.
Wendy- Yes you do want to know about coprophagia. You know you do.
Patti- See, it wasn’t too bad. You could teach Wendy a thing or two about trust, and courage.
JJT- Ha! Yeah, sometimes I worry that I’m going to be a cat-man as opposed to a cat-lady. If I do, I promise to name at least 7 of them after you.
EJ- Well, the light is different in each picture, so that changes things a bit, but the picture appears exactly as I took it. No modifications.
eebmore- Dude. Harsh.
Bekah- For NOW we’re calling it Kitten. It beats “The other one” anyway.
KC- Why thank you.
Bliss- You’re probably going to be surprised, but I find that absolutely revolting.
Glitzy- That is probably the most horrible thing you can do to a cat.
Patti- Are you saying that we shouldn’t name the kitten, Seeaytee?
Kendra- Well figure out a name at some point. She just has to show us what it is.
P’nut- You have been a WEALTH of cat information for this entire process. Thanks!
Lori- Ha! Thanks.
Alexandrileigh- Thanks!
CBK- Yeah, she’s wicked hot.
Broadsheet- Are you suggetsing that you would like my cat?
Patti- Um, yeah, I guess so… ;)
TDDI- I guess you’ve learned your lesson about my links then, eh?
Patti- Thanks for clearing that up for TDDI.
Rusty- Sherlock’s got nothing that he can do any damage with. And don’t worry, we’ll have a name for her soon.
Phoenix- Yeah, sometimes she disappears for hours until we sit on her or something.
Death to the Kinkaid and all “art” with rays of sunlight, mills, rainbows, kittens, pearls or lace, because…oh, just EW for God’s sake!
Now the pedophiles who can’t spell will Google “Kitty Porn” and find your blog. Brilliant marketing strategy.
Wait, are there pedophiles who can spell?
Jemima- You are my kind of lady.
Mr. K- Well, MooCow seems to do a decent job spelling…