I found a kitten. Actually, to be completely honest, the kitten found me. As the microwave was being replaced on Tuesday, the kitten was sitting on our front porch. I let the kitten in for a minute while I got her some food and water. A few hours later it looked like the kitten didn’t feel like leaving, so we introduced the kitten to Sherlock, and the fur flew.
For about three hours Sherlock and the kitten growled, hissed, and spit at each other, though by the end of it, Sherlock kept wandering away, and the kitten was sleeping with an occasional growl. Finally, the kitten made a move like she wanted to go outside, so we opened the door to let her out, left her more food, and figured she would do her own thing. She hung around for a while eating the food, but then disappeared.
I’m conflicted about the whole experience. At best, we provided a stray cat with some food and shelter, if only for a short period of time. At worst we kidnapped someone’s pet and terrorized that pet with our own cat for three hours.
I was kind of hoping that I’d never see the kitten again after that night, because that would mean that the kitten probably had a home. Unfortunately, the kitten showed up again this morning, and while Sherlock was trying to create the mental energy to physically pass through the glass in the window and transport himself directly on top of the kitten outside, I got more food and water for her, and put it on the porch.
I can’t help but feed the poor thing, but I don’t exactly want to have to deal with the two cats not getting along, and I don’t want to have one indoor-only cat and one inside/outside cat. I know every time I feed it I’m creating a bond between the kitten and our house, but I feel bad when the kitten keeps following me around, and responds to “Get out of here you stupid cat” with nuzzling against my leg.
I guess we’ll see what happens this afternoon.
And now, so I can maintain my perverse “street cred” with eebmore, I present you with more ultra-perverse sexual knowledge.
Vorarephilia: is the interest/sexual fetish in which a person fantasizes about eating another person and/or creature, being eaten him/herself, and/or watching another be eaten. Preferences vary, but most prefer to fantasize about being devoured whole and alive (soft vore), as opposed to those who prefer to be torn, chewed, and killed (hard vore). Those who prefer hard vore are sometimes referred to as “shreddies”. Both types of vore are most commonly found portrayed in stories or cartoonish drawings and acted out in internet role-playing. One infamous vore would be Armin Meiwes.
Dude, I’m just going to send you a big fat stack of normal porn, because somewhere you took a wrong turn. :)
My mom got a second cat after owning her first for over a year. It took her a while to get them used to each other, separating them and having assigned “play times” and “snuggle times” and “together times.” They now love each other, but it was a pain, I’m sure.
This is yet another reason why dogs are better: you get a another one and they sniff each other’s butts and then go play with a stick. The end.
And in response to your freakish fetish of the day - I bet vorarephiliacs (is that right?) really enjoyed Sin City for all the reasons I hated it.
This is how the poor ootsie-wootsie kitten will look at you if you don’t take her in.
This is how life will be like in your house if you do take her in.
So what’s the deal? Do you just hate kittens? You want them to die? I can see you know, fiendishly cackling as you drop little kitties and puppies into a cauldron of boiling oil. Bastard.
I bet you’re responsible for what happened to this poor kitty, too.
Regarding your perv-ophilia, there was a story in Reuters a year or two ago about a German guy (why is it always the Germans?) who had this fetish and I think advertised for someone to volunteer. This guy wanted to die so he did, and then there was all this hubbub about a murder trial. I know it went to trial, but I’m not sure what the end result was.
The only solution is to take the kitten in, and then get a dog. That way the cats gang up on the dog and stop fighting each other.
Of course, then you’ll just have to break up that fight, so you’ll need to get a second dog to balance things out.
Hmmmm, I think there’s a flaw in my logic somewhere.
Then, you simply buy snakes to take care of the dogs and apes to take care of the snakes. Perfect!
It will take them a while to get used to each other but it will eventually happen…even if it’s more of a civil thing than true best friend snuggly kitties. You may want to put one cat in one room and the leave the other out and then switch who gets put in the room. That way they can get used to each other’s smell, etc.
okay, a couple of points.
first… pussy!
now, i’ve been a cat owner all my life. you should never have exposed the stray to your other cat with out it being checked for kitty aids by a vet. regardless of your feelings, you pretty much have to take the kitten to the vet now. also, cats who are strangers to one another always hate one another for about 48 hours. within 3 days they’ll be spooning (unless one is buzy being sexually molested by you while the other one is under the bed crying for its mommy), so stop being a bitch ass and keep the kitten indoors with the other one - after you take it to the vet.
Try spraying both cats with the same cologne/perfume. They’ll view eachother as less of a threat when they both smell the same.
eebmore is right. you may have now given sherlock some disease, probably fleas at the least.
to the vet with the both of them! eventually they will get along.
growing up i generally had between 5-9 cat (shut up) and they worked it out.
Bliss- Really? With live men and women? And both parties consenting? Meh… too boring.
Bekah- You won’t be surprised to know that I loved Sin City. Also, we’re stuck with cats, so cats is what we deal with.
Mokie- You want the cat? You take her.
CM- Actually, you’re probably talking about the same guy that I linked at the end of my post. He put out an ad to eat a dude in 2001, and the dude came over and said he wanted to be eaten, and so the first dude killed and ate the second dude.
Londonmisfit- No falw, it’ll just be my way of quickly building a menagerie.
Mokie- exactly.
Glitzy- I think it’ll probably be what we end up doing.
eebmore- sigh…. FINE. Are you happy now?
Mic- Hmm. That sounds crazy enough to work.
This entry did wonders for the nasty habit I allowed myself to get into whereby I would tell random people who pissed me off to….eat me or bite me. This chicka has learned her lesson and will reign it in from now on. The last thing I want to be on this earth is someone’s sexual entree.
also…getting resident pussy to welcome new pussy is always a tough challenge, but I bet Sherlock would open up eventually (and not just so he could swallow the kitty whole either). Getting the little thing to want to stay inside is another battle altogether though.
Kendra- Yeah, I thought about that. And don’t worry, ACWF’s family has about 9 cats at this point.
Patti- I’m glad to be of service. Also, yeah, I’ll be sure to blog about what happens.
You big giant softie, your not about poop and nechrophelia, you are about kittens and butterflies..no street cred for you pumpkin..;’)
Jam
I guess that’s why “rare” is in that word.
Maybe the cats will get along after a while.
I think the take away, here, is that ACW is fantasizing about eating kittens.
Or even pussies.
Awww, you’re so nice to feed that pussy.:)
I had a stray living in my shed for a few years it died last summer. But I do know my own cat used to go round a few houses in the neighbourhood to supplement her diet when times were hard
I bet that’s NOT in the DSM.
I can’t stop laughing about “shreddies” … Shredded
wheatFlesh - it’s not just for Breakfast!This might be a time where I think about sex (when reading the headline)…
Vorarephilia? See you educate people with your blog too! All this time I wondered what my fettish was, now I know. And knowing is half the battle!