This weekend we celebrated ACWF’s birthday with a surprise party. I was freaking out all week long because I thought I had given her too much info and she was on to me. Apparently some of the people at her work didn’t read the evite thoroughly* because ACWF had an inkling that something was going on. A complete surprise would have been better, but I’ll take 90% surprised as a victory, and learn how to do it better next time.
ACWF was under the impression that a few friends were coming over at about 9pm, and that we’d be watching Mystery Science Theater 3000 all night. We had grabbed some snacks and some beer, and at about 6pm my brother and sister in law came over “early”.
The four of us sat and chatted for a bit, and then my brother, Mokie, and I started pretending like we were going to adjust the TV so that it would run through the new receiver that had been hooked up a few days before. Within moments ACWF sighed angrily and audibly before announcing she was bored. On cue, it was suggested that ACWF and my sister-in-law go to the Hecht’s 80% off sale while we hooked up the TV. ACWF was happy to get out of the house, and as soon as they were out of the driveway, we got to work.
Mokie and I started setting up drinks, plates, utensils, and cooking the eats. Mokie ran out to his car to get the eats that he’d hidden for this moment. We were cooking up a flurry when people started arriving 15 minutes later. Luckily we had some veggies and dip ready to go.
At about 7:30 the sister-in-law called Mokie and gave him the heads up that they were heading back to our house, so we gathered everyone in the living room and waited quietly. A few minutes later we heard the car in the driveway and I went to the door in anticipation of ACWF’s arrival. As soon as she stepped through the door I hurried her down the hallway toward the living room saying, “You’ve got to see the present our friends brought you.”
She walked into the room, everybody shouted “Surprise!” and soon after everyone was getting down to some serious merrymaking.
As the night wore on, and as the snow came down (our first snowfall of the year and second snowfall of the winter) alcohol fueled thoughts turned to the powdery white stuff falling from the sky. As a game of snow boccie commenced, I pondered the contrast of us having such fun in the snow while countless motorists screamed until their eyes were bloodshot, clawed their faces, ignored snot running out of their nose mixing with tears above their lips, and generally existed in a state of unending panic. Then again, I’ve never really been afraid of driving in the snow.
Snow boccie led to a snowball fight, and the snowball fight led to rolling a 4.5 foot diameter snowball, which then broke apart and led to another snowball fight. The snowball fight started in the backyard, but overflowed into the front yard after the snowball of mass destruction crumbled.
As we began to lose our energy, we noticed about four ATVs tear-assing around our street. Now, normally I’m a live and let live kind of guy, but these douches were going out of their way to skid out, slide, spin, and generally lose control of their vehicles on our tiny, dead-end, parked-cars-aplenty street, so when they started heading out of the neighborhood, I thought I’d give the leading rider a parting shot across his bow.
In truth, I was hoping to hit the guy, but my aim had been so bad all night that I figured it would crash to the street behind him as he sped away. Lucky for me, it hit him right on his side, just below his elbow. It took him about 30 feet to figure out what had happened, and he skidded to a stop, nearly being t-boned by the rest of his crew. He motored up to my driveway, where we were standing, and in his best 16-year-old, I-swear-I’m-a-tough-guy voice he said, “You like to throw snowballs?”
Someone yelled back, “We’re not throwing any snowballs,” and we laughed at him.
“Aii-iight, it’s gonna be like that. Well I know where you live.”
Then he sped off. I think he tried to spray some snow in our direction, but it didn’t work. It’s okay though, because his friend drove all over my neighbor’s lawn to get back at me. Idiot.
*(Excerpted from evite): You’re invited to [ACWF]’s SECRET 26th Surprise Birthday Party!
Here are the rules:
1) If you are responsible, in any way, for spoiling the very first surprise birthday party in [ACWF]’s life, I will empty your car of all its brake fluid. Seriously. Don’t say anything to her. Nothing.
2) You MUST be at our house between 7:00 pm and 7:30 pm. I plan on delivering [ACWF] to our house shortly after 7:30 and if you’re walking in at that point, I may have to hit you with my car.
Luckily, I don’t have to hit anyone with my car, because everyone got there on time. However, I will have to drain some brake fluid from some cars. Stupid, secret-spoiling bastards.
