Happy birthday, hon! Since ACWF is pretty much the best fiance-ette in the world, here’s 26 reasons why ACWF is awesome.
1) She can make me laugh. Seriously, it’s harder than you think. It’s like trying to get Ross Perot to not sound like a deranged chipmunk when he talks.
2) She’s hot. Have you seen her? Oh yeah, you haven’t. Sorry.
3) She’s smart. All the time she’s busting out these obscure theories of literary analyses from days gone by, or explaining weird scientific processes.
4) She has good taste in music. Except for her techno/raver days. That stuff is terrible.
5) She likes to travel. I can always count on her as a travel partner if I ever say something like, “Let’s drop everything and go to New York,” or “Hey, let’s go back to Mexico and see if we can find the prostitute that did those flexible things.”
6) She’s a great cook. Anytime you come home from work and smell something so good that all you want to do is put your face directly into whatever pot or pan is holding the smell, you know you’ve got a keeper.
7) She’s very patient. Not only does she have to deal with a classroom of seven-year-olds all day long, but she has to come home and deal with my shenanigans.
8) She smells good. I’m not saying your fiance smells bad, but your fiance reminds me of the hippopotamus house at the zoo.
9) She’s cute. Whether it’s her doing a little dance on the way to the kitchen, or the way she reads all the daily comics at washingtonpost.com each night, she’s a cutie.
10) She’s funky. Even when she’s dressed very conservatively, she’s still rocking some crazy-cool earrings, or maybe some stripper boots, or maybe both.
11) She’s sexy. In fact, she’s so sexy, she gets another X for being so sexy. She’s sexxy.
12) She’s strong. She’s not afraid of anything, except bugs with lots of legs. Especially lots of legs.
13) She talks good. ACWF is a great conversationalist. We’ve been talking for 5 years or something and it’s still fresh.
14) She’s not all caught up in that girly-girl stuff. We have no idea when we met, or when we first started dating, or when we first hung out. We don’t celebrate Valentines day.
15) She gives the best Valentines presents ever. The first and last Valentines day gift she ever gave me was a six pack of beer and a bottle of Cactus Juice.
16) [removed for purposes of decency]
17) She’s driven. If I wasn’t holding her back, she’d not only be teaching and going to graduate school, but she’d also be volunteering for 12 different organizations, and spending any other free time trying to raise money for them.
18) She’s caring. One time I ran over a cardboard box, and she was like, “Was that a dog!?” and I said, “Yeah, whoops,” and she started crying and stuff. I laughed really hard, and she called me a jerk. This didn’t really happen, but if it did, it would happen just like this because she cares so much.
19) She’s principled. She knows where she stands on issues around politics and religion, and while she keeps an open mind about things, she won’t let her personal beliefs be mocked or insulted.
20) She’s a great companion on a road trip. She always keeps things interesting. Except for the last 15 minutes. No matter how far we’re driving, an hour or 10 hours, 15 minutes from our destination she always groans and says, “I wish we were THERE already!”
21) She drinks beer. Chicks who drink beer are cooler than chicks who don’t.
22) She pretends to care. Lots of times she listens to me ramble on and on about things she couldn’t care less about, just so I can get it out of my system.
23) She swears like a sailor. Many of the things she says are so verbally offensive that we’ve been threatened by the FCC. It’s so hot.
24) She’s a nerd/dork. She gets really involved in nerdy/dorky stuff related to CSI, wedding shows, and stuff like that. You can always tell when she’s got her nerd hat on because she’s focused on the object of her nerddom so intently that she can’t hear you talking.
25) She’s a scrapbooking savant. When other people talk about scrapbooking, they mean they’re taking their shitty pictures and taping them into a boring book. ACWF creates layouts, designs, and doesn’t settle for boring.
26) She’s just the best. She suits me perfectly, and I wouldn’t want to get married to anyone else. Except maybe Chris Walken, but it would be an open marriage, so I’d still see her all the time.
P.S. Zenchick also celebrates her b-day today!
Wow, this was really sweet! Happy Birthday to ACWF!
i really like it when you
talkwrite about ACWF. It’s so clear how in love you are.Happy Birthday ACWF…soon to be ACWW! Weeeeeeeeeee!
woohoo - happy b-day to ACWF!
A really great woman should have a man that appreciates everything about her. I think ACWF has that covered with you.
Happy birthday, ACWF!
Man, 26…back in the DAAY!
Guess you need more cowbell… (oddly enough, this was a topic of conversation with Tarzan less than 2 minutes ago)
Happy Birthday, ACWF!
I think I may hurl. No, wait. I did, I just hurled. ;-)
Happy Birthday ACWF. Keep keeping that man happy and in line.
Aww, that’s so sweet! ACWF sounds like a great gal!
Hmm, you got me wondering about #16 - it must be something really um, special eh? I’ll leave that to the imagination.
Happy Birthday ACWF!
I think I got diabetes from reading this. Happy B-Day youngster!
happy birfday. and congrats on getting such a sweet freak of a man.
Happy Birfday, ACWF!!! May all your birthday wishes be triple-jointed and cinnamon flavored!
happy birthday acwf! and zenchick too!!!
wait, has anyone seen them both in the same room at the same time?
ACW…please pass my birthday wishes along to the very awesome sounding ACWF. :)
That was very nice - until the Walken weirdness. ;) And I’m assuming #16 had something to do with necrophilia, but we’ll just move on. ;)
Otherwise, happy b-day to ACWF! ;)
Hippo Birdie Two Ewes, ACWF! And Zenchick, too!
I can corroborate how AWESOME ACWF is (*and* she has a kick-ass birthday). I can also say with great certainty that her list could not be nearly that long for you. You are clearly out of your league. Don’t blow it, buddy.
(thanks for the birthday props, BTW)
happy birthday acwf! someday i will meet you and you will explain to me scrapbooking.
and puh-lease, you would totally marry me.
Happy Birthday, ACWF!!
Yeah, I remember my 26th birthday. Well, actually I don’t. I do remember waking up on the day after my 26th birthday. Good times.
Happy Birthday to the both of youse. Try and stay conscious.
Happy birthday, ACWF!
#16 and #23 get extra kudos
You are so sweet! And I wanna marry ACWF now too!
If it wasn’t so specific I’d paste it into a card for RRW this Valentine’s Day.
thank you all (especially acw- you’ll get thanked later, wink wink nudge nudge)! i’m really not that great. i’ve just tricked acw into thinking i am so that when i do something that is great, he thinks it’s the most amazing thing ever. and even though i’m not a mushy type of gal usually (okay, i cry at boxes i think are dogs, and at wedding shows, and real weddings…) i did get a little teary eyed reading this. i feel so loved (and lucky)!
Habby Birthday.