Currently, and much to my dismay, there are, and have been for the past few hours, two howler-monkeys hate-fucking the bejesus out of the backs of my eyeballs.
They spent their time earlier in the back position of my skull behind my right ear. Screaming and humping, abusively throwing shit at one another when the orgasms never came.
I tried to drown them with water, but apparently it just made them horny, and if you had seen me at about 2 o’clock, I would have been squinting and saying, “eh?” as the monkeys strapped on steel-tipped dildos of doom, and straight jungle-fucked my skull until I passed out from the pain.
I’m pretty sure they’re trying to give me a brain tumor. The good news is, two angry howler monkeys could hump my brain into mush before I developed a tumor. That’s also the bad news.
I sent three Bayer in after the monkeys, but I think the monkeys may have captured them, dug a pit, shoved them into it, and then pissed on their heads. I wouldn’t be surprised if a undigested Bayer was forced out of my tear duct with a message written on it by the monkeys. “Evict this you pantywaist piece of shit,” it would probably say. Then they’d pound me until the seizures started.
Maybe they’d leave after the seizures caused me to release the contents of my bladder and anus into the inside of my suitpants, but who can guess what those crazy monkeys would do or not do?
i wouldn’t leave if i were them.
i’d wait till you woke up and then laugh in your general direction.
Um, I think you need to go home early…
::cough::crazy person::cough::
*gap mouthed stare*
pantywaist piece of shit?
damn those little monkey fuckers. sad thing is, eventually they leave, but they always come back. evil little bastards.
Aleve man, use Aleve. Those fuck monkeys will fly out of your skull when still fuck locked.
you’re supposed to send the aspirins in as decoys then ambush them with ibuprofen…they’ll never see it coming since they’ll be so busy pissing on the heads of the poor aspirin bastards….
I have the whole invasion plan mapped out…..happen to know morse code?
Sorry to laugh at an obviously shit-tastic headache, but man… If I weren’t married, and you weren’t engaged… I could be in love.
Not sure which line you had me at, so it’s a toss-up between these two visuals:
[...]two howler-monkeys hate-fucking the bejesus out of the backs of my eyeballs. [...]
[...]as the monkeys strapped on steel-tipped dildos of doom
Abso-frickin’-lutely hilarious; however, an apropos depiction of a horrible headache. Kudos on the visual! It’s like those monkeys were in fucking and throwing pooh in MY skull!