Beef- It’s pretty much the grossest meat in the country for about 2 dozen reasons. I know that all the chicken and turkey I eat aren’t particularly clean, but by comparison, chicken is a NASA clean room to the maggoty bucket of feces that is beef.
Confederacy of Dunces- I know lots of people like this book, but I thought it was pretty boring. And I didn’t appreciate the author ignoring details related to naming his characters, his 3rd person narration, or his sloppy attempts at dialect.
24- One of the most predictable shows on television. The only things you can’t predict are the things that come flying out of nowhere, which only serves to make it look like a 5 year old is the driving creative force. “So what should happen next Timmy?” “Maybe have a train with a bomb on it crashes into an airplane full of monkeys!”
The War at Home- Fox cancels Arrested Development but lets this tripe continue to be aired? WTF? ACWF and I actually appreciate this show though, because it gives us time to “make the babies” between the Simpsons and Family Guy. Terrible, terrible show.
Survivor- I just never really got into the whole “Reality TV” thing and this is the one that seems to have started them all. I can’t help it that I just don’t give a damn if these people live or die.
Chocolate Ice Cream- Vanilla is better, and you know it. Everybody knows it. You just don’t want to admit it.
Pleated Pants- Stupid fuckin’ pleats. All they do is get in the way when I’m ironing, and they make it look like my hips flare out. Completely retarded.
Victorian English Literature- The whole genre sucks. You suck.
Um. I’m out of rage for now.
I see. So the Chicken Council has already gotten to you. Duly noted.
I will have to agree with you on almost everything except 24. I’m sorry, I thoroughly enjoy the show. Now Survivor would be great if they actually dropped them on an island with no food (or really rancid beef), stagnant water, no tools and forget the games make those fuckers fight each other to the death like an old Star Trek episode.
you did NOT just go there about choco ice cream!
do you want a horde of hysterical women picketing outside your… um -blog?
If you really want to get your rant on about beef, read “My Year of Meats”
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0140280464/qid=1138721...
by Ruth Ozeki. It’s turned me into a near beef totaler.
Chocolate Ice Cream = totally overrated. they use really low grade cocoa powder to flavor that stuff. I’m pretty sure they mix it with smog residue imported from new delhi for a little extra punch.
Beef: not as dirty as you think it is. beef can be eaten raw or undercooked relatively safely. chicken = undercooked and you die or at least want to die.
24: dumbest show on tv. they replaced acting with talking in hushed yelling.
Vic lit: worst. books. ever. The Bronte sisters can S my D.
I think I am finished with rage for now too. Good, I’m glad we did that.
Beef? I eat it raw, thanks. Love it, and my intestinal parisites do, too.
I’m more or less ambivalent about all the other crap you prattled on about, but I’m with you on Survivor. I always wonder who in the hell told most of the women on it that they were hot? Obviously someone did at some point, because they certainly seem to be of the opinion. For the most part they’re average at best, and after three weeks wherever the fuck they are they look positively dreadful.
Honey, I can smell you through the TV.
beef is delicious.
chicken is the devil’s work.
The War at Home is the worst? Nah - how about any show whose title is an acronym. Like the one with the Who song. Or that fake-goth chick. Or any show involving anthropologists doing karate (as tempting as that sounds on paper). Or any CBS sitcom involving a fat retarded male comedian supposedly married to a ridiculously hot wife, predicated entirely on gender stereotype jokes. And not the good ones. And any reality show involving C-list burnout celebrities.
Ok, pretty much TV in general.
I never understood the Survivor thing either. From the commercials I’ve seen, it looks like an adult version of the stupid game shows they used to have on Nickelodeon. Do they also use the bucket of slime?
I disagree on the Vic Lit. Love me some Bronte sisters!
I also love 24 but acknowledge that some of the plot gets a bit tired. However, I have to disagree with your assumption that most people like pleated pants. Only people with no sense of fashion wear pleated pants. How they made it outside of the 1980s, I’ll never know.
Beef: Fast Food Nation helped me to think the beef, as sold in todays supermarkets, is absolutely gross. I do miss a good steak now and then…
Pleated Pants: Absolutely. Stupidest thing and who needs the extra paunch.
Arrested Development cancelled? i didn’t know that. That was a funny show. Of course they cancel most everything good Stupid FOX.
I think I might steal this idea from you. I love the hatin’. Or maybe something similiar.
Okay:
I like beef, can’t help it. But your description of it makes it less appealing (only today, though).
The War at Home: Not normally a show I would watch, but since my baby-makin’ partner is in London, I choose to sit through it and awkwardly cringe at the dad’s acting methods. He just looks so UNCOMFORTABLE.
Reality T.V. hit a new low with Celebrity Ice Skating and I hope they all break at least one of their bones.
But chocolate and vanilla combined is an unbeatable combo. Face it.
believe it or not, i am incapable of watching any tv show that has women wearing bikini tops for absolutely no good reason. baywatch, check. survivor, check. fear factor, big giant check. the bug boxes and poop eating doesn’t bother me one bit, but i can get over the feeling that them trying to draw me in with the “jiggle-tit” factor is completely insulting. besides, i’m a hardcore porn kind of a guy. do they think a little gratitious cleavage is going to draw me in? amataurs.
There’s nothing quite like watching that dreamy Jeff Probst while eating a nice bloody steak. But other than that, I hear ya.
Hink- Hell yes.
Doug- Now THAT would be AWESOME!
Lorider- Ha ha ha!
Broadsheet- It’s on my wishlist now.
Bryan- Beef can be eaten raw or uncooked? Only if you want e. coli.
Neckbone- Nice to see you drop by and pipe up you little bitch.
Miss Kendra- Nuh uh. You’re the devil.
Bliss- You’re not telling me you LIKE the War at Home, are you?
KC- I knew you would be a Vic Lit lover. It’s okay, my fiance likes it too.
Frema- I have to think that people like pleated pants, because whenever I want to buy flat-fronts, I have to wade through huge piles of pleats.
Kira- Steal away!
Like someone else, I’m with you on everything but 24. Sure the acting can be hammy, the plots more and more ridiculous, and the plot devices overly repeated (A mole? In CTU? No way!). But it’s such a great release for suppressed liberal aggression. I would never condone torture or a “shoot first, ask questions later” policy in the real world, but it’s very freeing to see Jack, who knows the right play in every situation, kick ass and survive it all. He’s a super-hero without super powers (if you don’t count that coming-back-from-the-dead-twice thing)
Hack- I knew I couldn’t trust you, ya bastard.
CBK- I have trouble suspending disbelief that much and still enjoying myself.
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. This isn’t my Batman glass.
You know people who like pleated pants?? Give me their phone numbers and home addresses, I’ll take care of that.
Gotta agree with just about all of your points. Beef? eww. Ground Turkey rocks, though. Not really interested in 24 or Survivor. Chocolate ice cream is eh, only suitable when mint choc. chip isn’t available. Victorian lit does suck, says the one with the English degree. Bleh.
Turkeys are so silly that if you don’t give them little turkey umbrellas, they say “Ooh, look, its raining, I should open my esophagus and let myself drown.”
Cows on the other hand are smart. They can play football and arrange public action campaigns against ‘chikins’. I saws it on the pitcher box durin’ an episode of 24.
So, in summation, please give the turkeys umbrellas.
“Victorian English Literature- The whole genre sucks. You suck.”
No, you suck! And you’ll never understand our love! Ever!
(Serioulsy, though: all of it? ‘Cause that’s pretty much all I read.)
Jen- Ha ha ha!
Hink- What about that turkey (maybe, chicken?) in Pennsylvania who lived for 17 years (!) after having his head chopped off. That takes mad skillz, yo.
Mike- No, not all of it. It’s really the Bronte sisters and Austen that I dislike most.
Actually, i hate the stuff that jane austin wrote during the victorian era, too. but i loved the stuff she wrote during the reign of King George III.
;)
dammit. that would have been a much better zing, had I spelled “austen” correctly.
eebmore- It’s okay, I still counted it as a zing. Word nerds gotta stick together, yo.
Thank You. Victorian Literature is most horriblest stuff to read. EVER.
And the best ice cream?
Hands down, it’s Graters - my favorite the black raspberry with giant chucks of dark, semi-sweet chocolate.
Hmm…well, I eat beef, but I admit I didn’t for a long time after I read “The Jungle” back in high school. I HATE Survivor, and absolutely hate 24. That stuff is shit. I’ve never seen The War at Home, but I assume it’s also shit. Now, busting on chocolate ice cream is not cool, though. You have women who read this blog too, you know! :) I love it, but it has to be dark and decadent. I would agree with you that the supermarket brand is kind of watery and gross. Edy’s Death By Chocolate or something would be heavenly. Oh, and I hate Austen and Bronte stuff, too. I fancy myself an avid reader, but even I can’t get into that stuff. I suppose most English Lit. would be bothersome and boring.
I love “things I hate” rants. I need to get on that bandwagon, too.
Oh Lord, I forgot to chip in on how evil pleated pants are. Fat people should NEVER wear pleated pants…I know, because I’m fat, and I wouldn’t be caught dead in them.
Wow. Good taste my man, good taste. It’s about time someone spoke out against these things, especially pleated pants.
I would like to do something similar (but still different) on my blog sometime, if you don’t mind…
I gives me righteously indignant pleasure to disagree with you in the strongest possible terms on beef, The Confederacy of Dunces, chocolate ice cream and Victorian lit. On the other hand I agree entirely on pleated pants and don’t deny that I suck. As for the others, I’ll agree with you in spite of the fact that I don’t watch TV.