Archive for December 6th, 2005

Blogger problems

Published
by
Anonymous Coworker
on December 6, 2005 @ 4:45 pm
in meta blogging and nerd stuff
. 14 Comments

You know, when I switched from Blogger I thought I would be through with their problems, but no.

Even though Blogger no longer interrupts my blogging, it now sometimes interupts my access to your blogs. Stupid Blogger! Why must you taunt and thwart me so!?

Blogger is the cock-tease of the internet.

*whistling*

Published
by
Anonymous Coworker
on December 6, 2005 @ 1:16 pm
in meta blogging
. 9 Comments

Hello?

Who’s that over there?

You! Yes, you! Come out of the shadows! Get out from behind that dumpster so I can see your face.

Oh. I see. It’s you… blog.

I thought I told you that I didn’t want you hanging all over me, snooping and prying, and regurgitating every passing thought I have to the internet.

What?

I don’t care that the internet has promised to love you forever you stinking cretin! I need my space. You can’t just expect me blog about whatever I just had for lunch.*

What the hell was that? You know damn well what I’m talking about. That little thing. That asterisk. … Don’t just stand there. Speak up! Tell me what that- oh. I know what it was. You just added what I had for lunch as a footnote, didn’t you? Answer me!

Don’t you realize that people don’t want to hear about my boring lunch or what happened to me on the way into work?* * STOP THAT! Stop it this instant or I swear that I will turn this blog over to spammers. Is that what you want?

I bet it is what you want. Their dirty little robots creating post after post after post. Each post the same but at least it’s frequent, eh? You don’t care where it’s coming from or how good it is as long as you get it all the time. I know your type. You disgust me. I’m the boss of what gets written, and I won’t have you sullying yourself with drivel. So no more posting the boring yet mellifluent drivel that pops into my head. * * *

What was that one about? What was it? You tell me right now! I will smack you in the mouth!

Come back here! Don’t you dare go posting more pictures of the cat! eebmore will never let me live it down.

*Healthy Choice Fiesta Chicken with an apple cobbler dessert.

**Cut off by a guy applying clown make-up while driving.

* * *He wants you to think he’s smart because he used “mellifluent” but he had to doublecheck what it meant on dictionary.com first.

I’m sick

Published
by
Anonymous Coworker
on December 6, 2005 @ 10:02 am
in work
. 8 Comments

Like actually sick. Like there’s some type of virus living inside me that’s making it hard to breathe, swallow, think, and concentrate. Like my voice is slowly getting raspier and disapperaing.

I wasn’t talking about the kind of sick where you give your friend their Christmas present and when the open it and see it’s a box of spiders they freak out because of their arachnaphobia.

I wasn’t talking about the kind of sick where you apologize and tell your best friend you actually got them something awesome for Christmas but it’s a surprise and you have to blindfold them, and then you end up stuffing them in the trunk of your car and then driving that car into a lake.

I wasn’t talking about the kind of sick where you rescue that friend from the trunk of the car and tell them it was all just a big joke before you bury them alive.

I wasn’t talking about the kind of sick where you dig up your friend and they are all covered with dirt and have a crazy look in their eye before you say, “Here’s your real present. It’s a 50% off dessert coupon when you buy two appetizers and six entrees at Outback .”

Feh.

I’m going to sleep under my desk now.

Bad Behavior has blocked 353 access attempts in the last 7 days.