AnonymousCoworker

ACWF was sick a while ago, and I was essentially her man-slave. This is not to say that I’m not normally her man-slave because I am, because she’s the laziest person in the world, but when she’s sick she actually has an excuse as to why she can’t get up and walk 5 feet to the fridge to get a drink.

So as I’m running around taking care of her myriad sundry requests (”Can you get me a blanket? Can you get me my book please? Can you get me something to drink? Can you get me the the cat?” And of course she never asks for any of these at the same time because she’s too lazy to generate a list of requests.) a sense of urgency is created by the constant dashing back and forth and up and down the stairs. So when she asked me to get her antibiotic, I ran upstairs, grabbed the brown pill bottle and dumped one of the horse-pills out in my hand. ACWF took her pill dutifully and went back to being a human-shaped lump in the couch.

Not half-an-hour later she’s up, wide-awake, and multi-tasking. She’s reading her book, watching a movie, and doing work for her classroom. I figured that my doting had finally paid off.

Four hours later and she’s still going like a madwoman as I’m wilting into sleep. I think it was about 2am on a Friday evening/Saturday morning. We went upstairs and she continued to read as I fell asleep.

The next morning she slept. And slept. And slept, and slept, and slept. When she finally woke up she looked like death warmed over, and I had no idea what would have caused such rapid change. She was, of course, clueless as well.

That night, for once acting under her own power, ACWF went up to the medicine cabinet to get her anti-biotic. She came downstairs with her brow furrowed a moment later.

“Where did you get my anti-biotic last night?”

“From the little brown bottle.”

“Well, that explains it.”

“What?”

“My anti-biotics were in this box of pills and you punch them out based on what day it is. You gave me painkillers from when I was in the hospital.”

So there you have it. If you’re sick, I’ll give you pain-killers, so you’ve got that going for you. On the other hand, if you want pain-killers, I may just give you stool softener.