I recently tried to re-up (what in the HELL does that mean anyway?) my prescription for contacts on 1800contacts.com. They called me the next day and told me that my scrip had expired and that I’d need a new one to get my contacts.
No, “Sorry that you’ll be blind as a bat if you don’t have contacts.” No, “Sorry that we overcharge for a little piece of plastic to go in your eye just because you have astigmatism.” Nope. None of that. Just outright douchery.
So I went to the eye-doctor on Monday and they ran all kinds of tests on my peepers. They tested me with contact in and with contacts out. Finally, upon arriving at the brilliant conclusion that, yes, I do in fact need contacts, they gave me an new prescriptionerino.
But not before the eye doctor found a miniscule tear in one of my current 1-month disposable contact lenses. So he offered me a replacement contact free of charge since I’m only halfway through my month (sounds like I’m on the pill, huh?) and I need to see to do things like read, walk, drive, or function as a normal human being. I swear. No contacts in my eyes equals pea and carrot succotash all over my face. Because I can’t see. Not because I’m into sploshing, but because I wouldn’t be able to see the food. Whatever. Shut up.
So now I’ve got 2 different brands of contacts in, and as the title suggest, it’s like the Pepsi challenge for my eyes. I’ve got to determine which contact suits my eyes better, and which contact is a more refreshing beverage. Or something. Whatever. Shut up.
But I have no idea how I’m supposed to tell the difference because it’s the combination of one image from each eye directed into my brain that allows me to see, so it’s not like I’d ever really be able to conduct a thorough analysis of the effect each contact has on it’s specific eye. I think I’m essentially gonna go with whichever brand is cheaper.
It’s all about the Benjamins, what.
