Oh hows I hates me some hypocrites. I hates ‘em like crazy.
“Hi, my name’s Pat Robertson and I’m the president of the Christian Coalition and I want advocate for the death of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez. What? Murder is a sin you say? Oh, well I guess I had better lie to cover my tracks… What the hell do you want now? Lying is also a sin? God damnit! Taking the Lord’s name… uh huh… another fucking sin?! What is going on here? How the fucking shit am I supposed to run the Christian Coalition when almost everything I do is counter to Christian commandments? I guess I should do the world a favor and collapse the whole organization and kill myself.”
Sounds great, Pat. At least you wouldn’t be a hypocrite anymore.
The other hypocrites recently were the Jehovah’s Witnesses. They sent us some garbage in the mail about how wiccan, lesbian, neo-liberal, space-race assfuckery* was ruining a child’s right to go to school and beat the sin out of heathens or some such bullshit and to prove their point they used “A quote from a speaker at a recent Ivy League graduation ceremony”. That quote?
The point is ladies and gentlemen that greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right. Greed works. Greed clarifies, cuts through and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Greed, in all of it’s forms - greed for life, for money, knowledge - has marked the upward surge of mankind and greed - you mark my words - will save that malfunctioning corporation called the USA.
And then after that quote they were all, “How dare these fork-tongued, ass-licking, Baalists pervert our nation with their lies?” and I actually laughed out loud.
ACWF was like, “What?” and I read the quote to her and she was like, “So?” and I was like, “This would actually MEAN something if they hadn’t ripped off Gordon FUCKING Gecko in a MOVIE called Wall Street!”
These people seriously put the “lies” in evangelize. What the shit is going on here?
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: If Jesus came back** and saw what had been done in his name he would vomit uncontrollably for the rest of eternity.
*Don’t ask me what it means, it was their screed.
**Or actually existed in the first place. But that’s just me.
