I must come off as a total potty-mouthed, irreverent, blasphemous, perv sometimes. What with all my talk about necrophilia, the Baby Jeebus, and the near constant use of swear-words, I would have no doubt that many of you see me as a freakish sideshow of filth. Some of you come close enough to laugh, while others keep their distance and observe from afar. No one would let me near their daughter, or son, for that matter, much less any other member of the family.
I am what I am. I make no apologies for the way I write, or for the drivel that drips from my fingertips and coats the keyboard with a thick sludge of poorly executed metaphors. At the same time, I want people to enjoy my site. I couldn’t care less if people like me, but I do want the to leave my site a little bit less stuck up than they were before. Not that you’re all stuck up. You’re just, ya’know, kinda titchy. I’ll let you figure out what that means.
I don’t have any particular reason to hide my identity other than it would greatly reduce the things I could blog about, and blogging is an outlet for me. I like to be able to go on at varying length about things that are probably only of interest to me. I try to make it interesting for everyone else, and better myself as a writer, but sometimes I fall short. Not like I’m trying to feed myself by making you people laugh, but it’s nice to get a comment from time to time saying that I tickled you. Not in the Michael Jackson way, but in the “made amused through the use of storytelling device” way.
I’d like to make some money off of this crazy gig, don’t get me wrong, but I’ve resisted ad programs or other things like that because I didn’t want this to be a place where you had to feel like a consumer. I wanted it to be like an ongoing electronic conversation. I think I’m a nice guy. We can chat. I can let the curse words and pseudo-fetishist comments go for a post or two. I can be civil.
But it’s no fun. For me. I guess part of it is about the shock value, but part of it is also about being able to write the word, “Penis” on the internet. Part of it is writing something that if I saw would make me laugh out loud. That’s the goal here.
Hopefully this rumination has been illuminating to you. It’s just made me more confused.
