Archive for July 22nd, 2005

Fried Brain

I know I’m supposed to be blogging, but I just can’t make myself do it. I plan on splitting out of work at about 4:15 or so to go get my car emissions tested. Then it’s home to the housefrau and the kitten, and off to IKEA to try to find a computer desk. So far Goodwill, Value City, and everywhere else have turned up either crap, stuff that’s way to expensive, or both. Suprisingly Goodwill had a POS used piece of furniture for as much as Value City was charging for a new one.

Saturday we wait for the cable people to come and install our shit. Comcast never could find our house, so we went with Millenium instead. They even matched the “deep discout” the Comcast garaunteed was unmatchable. Way to go, douches.

I’m also going to be knocking down a wal and cleaning out the gutters on Saturday, so I get to experience what it’s like to be Dagwood Bumstead from that horrible comic by the name of Blondie. Unfortunately I don’t make humongous sandwiches a la Shaggy from Scooby Doo, and I don’t constantly nap on the couch. So when I do shit, shit gets done. Fuckin’ lazy ass Dagwood. No wonder Mr. Dither’s wants to fire him. I don’t read the comic anymore, but when I was like 7 I thought it was the bomb, which is why I remember all this stuff. I realize it hurts my street cred.

I think Sunday is wide open for now, but I’m sure we’re going to wind up fucking with the house. The novelty of being able to change shit wears off pretty quickly. Though the novelty of all the other stuff more than makes up for it. Especially bonin’ wherever we want. Like the living room. Or laundry room. Or sink. Yeah. It’s HOTT in the sink.

Anyway, I’m pretty much rambling at this point because I’ve been playing bad video games for about 2 hours, and I’ve got no work to do, and I just want to go home. But then again, who the crap am I to gripe about this stuff. I mean, there are plenty of people around who have lots worse problems. I guess my problems are good problems to have. Kna mean?

You’ve got WHAT in your WHERE?

ACWF saw this the other day on a billboard in the area. You’re right to assume that she thought, “What the fuck?”

This is the product of a very stupid, or very smart, advertising slave. I’ve got Lance in my pants. Kinda says it all right there doesn’t it.

I can’t wait for the next ad campaign. Let’s see, could we get more sexual with this train of thought?

  • I’ve got Nuts in my butt!
  • I’ve got Fudge in my ass!
  • My pants-salami is barely contained by my jeans!
  • I’ve got melons under my shirt!
  • This snack food gave me the clap!
  • Who wants to fuck in the ass and eat some crackers?
  • I’m going to put a cigarette out on your nutsack and smear you with my feces! Then I’m going to ram a copper dildo up your ass and connect it to a car battery! I’m going to cover your nipples with syrup and open a box of ants on your stomach! Snackfood!

Yeah, I know that last one was a total non-sequitur, but I’m sure that’s where this is all going. Lance in my pants? Come on! Who do you think you’re trying to fool?




Bad Behavior has blocked 462 access attempts in the last 7 days.