You know the ones I’m talking about. The ones who blog about their pets.
It makes me feel dirty in my pants area. Like I just had sex with the DMV. Eyech.
Speaking of my crotch, the kitten decided to attack it this morning at about 1. He had gotten his left paw through the collar (probably in an attempt to get it off of his head) and he was now wearing it like a commando between his shoulders and across his chest. Sort of like this guy but not with the flaming lameness.
The kitten kept rolling around and trying further extricate himself from his shackles when he dug his claws into my beanbag. I was none to happy, but I figured, “Meh, he’s a kitten. I’ll kill him and eat him when he’s full grown,” so I let it go for the time being and tried to shake him away from my baby-making parts.
All the shaking in the world could not dislodge this kitten from my wedding tackle because his hind leg was stuffed down my boxer shorts, claws ensnared in fabric and quickly approaching my butthole via the grundel*.
I reached between my legs, grabbed the kitten and quickly shielded my happy parts with my other hand. The kitten fought back a bit, my hand took the brunt of it, and I was able to dislodge the kitten from my shorts.
Sorry for the post about my pet. I’ll try to keep it to a minimum.
Make your own joke about me and a pussy here.
*Or taint, if you prefer
