Archive for July 19th, 2005

IT makes my thoughts go fuzzy

I just got off the phone with an IT rep for a company that we work closely with. She talked for about 45 minutes and frankly, I had stopped listening after she answered all my questions in the first 5 minutes. I tried a few attempts to get off the phone:

“Well, I think that covers it for me,”

“Okay, that’s all the info I need,”

“Thanks, you’ve given me plenty of info,”

But she just didn’t get it, so I let her talk herself out. My mind went to complete mush for about 30 minutes. I heard a faint buzzing in my ear, and responded affirmatively every few minutes to make it seem like I was listening.

Do I give a fuck about SAP? No. Did I ask you about SAP? No. Shut. The. Fuck. Up.

In other IT dork news, I was visiting another IT staff for a small company this morning, and they were eager to show me their server. When I walked in and they pointed it out I was indeed impressed. Unlike the other servers I’ve seen (which honestly hasn’t been very many) there weren’t wires flying all over the place. All the wires and cords were color-coordinated and tucked neatly in the racks. As I was looking at the stunningly organized server the Admin broke the silence by belting out, “HAVE YOU EVER SEEN SUCH A TIGHT RACK? That rack is so nice! That rack is awesome!”

I laughed because I was thinking of boobs.

Do you smell bacon?

All week long I was sure to smear myself with sunblock. Anytime I ventured into the sun’s rays I made sure I had been covered, my face especially, with glop upon glop of the milky-white fluid.

I was so disgusted by my own imagery that halfway through the week I went out and bought a quick-dry, clear, gel sunblock.*

I sat under an umbrella at all times, and even under the umbrella I was sure to wear a t-shirt. I reapplied every time I got out of the water.

I even managed to curl myself into a fetal position while sleeping on the beach to keep myself within the shade of the umbrella and continued to move with the shade of the umbrella, WHILE SLEEPING, in order to stay in the shade. I’m told it was quite interesting to watch me wriggle a few inches back into the shade whenever the umbrella’s shade had moved too much.

But I didn’t wear sunblock on the drive home and now I have a scorching farmer’s tan on my left arm.

*It was the Bullfrog brand.




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