Published on June 16, 2005 @ 3:38 pm .
Because somebody doesn’t know her womanly role* I have been guilted into recapping the happy hour last night. I can do that easily.
First, things were kind of reserved.
Then I made it my business to cross every conceivable social “line” I could think of.
Then, upon the ingestion of margaritas and mojitos I became quite charming.
I recommended a vibrator for people I’ve met only twice.
Later on I insulted the physical attractiveness of every blogger in attendance by saying, “Take a look around. I’ve never seen a more mediocre bunch.” Some people can’t take a joke.
Finally, I chumped out at 9:30 because I had to wake up ass early in the morning, as did ACWF, as did Kmart.
*Silent, in the kitchen, making me a sandwich.**
**Just so there’s no confusion, Zenchick isn’t ACWF.
Published on June 16, 2005 @ 12:34 pm .
I’m putting this post up for two reasons. The first reason is because I don’t want the Schiavo autopsy link to be at the top of my page anymore.
The second is to do a bit of venting. Why is it that when things get insanely busy I still don’t have anything to post about? What kind of crap is that (yo how’s about a smack)?
I could tell you about my trip to Subway for lunch. I could tell you that I ordered a 6 inch Turkey and Ham on Wheat with lettuce, tomato, pickles, and mustard. I could tell you that’s the same thing I order every time I go to Subway, or at least a close variation thereof. I could tell you that the girl at the Subway who was taking everyone’s bread order sliced her finger open and bled all over the cutting board and all the condiments. I could tell you that the police officer that was behind me in line jumped over the counter when the girl fainted and none of her fellow employees did anything about it. I could tell you that the cop got into a shouting match with the manager because the manager was being a douche and all he kept saying to the girl was, “You’re gonna pay for all this food.” I could tell you that after the cop called for backup his partner came in and arrested the manager and all the employees had an, “Oh shit, what the Hell do we do now?” look on all their faces. I could tell you that I never got my sub because the cop had to take down statements from everybody.
I could tell you all that stuff, but I’d be lying. I went in, got my sub, and left. It was like, the most boring lunch ever.
