On Saturday ACWF and I went to see her cousin in a ballet recital. Unfortunately we had to sit through some of the most sub-par dance performances I have ever seen.
First of all, the theme was “America” but it may as well have been “Ignorant Jingoism.” The “ignorant” theme was fulfilled when songs such as “This Land is Your Land” and “Born in the USA” were used. Had the choreographer or the music director even listened to the words of those songs they would have realized that they were meant not as respect to the US, but instead as critiques of US culture, politics, and ideals.
Other songs, that had little or nothing to do with the theme, included Aretha Franklin’s “Freedom” seemingly chosen for it’s title only, and a techno/electronica version of “O Beautiful” that did more to make the amber waves of grain look like a coked out flashback than it did to inspire pride.
The jingoism, though subtle, was apparent in all the costumes, and in the dance routines as well. At least we didn’t have to sit through the damnable “God Bless the USA.”
However, the biggest problem I had with the performance was the overall lack of skill. Apparently, these performers had been practicing for months, if not the whole year, for this recital, and yet their skills were lackluster at best.
The 3-year-old to 5-year-old category was laughable. None of the wretched little spawn, in garish matching tutus and tiaras no less, knew any of their steps, and so would simply spin, hop, and giggle their way through the songs. The crowd applauded, yes, but only because they were happy to see the sausage legged dumplings heading for the stage wings.
The next age group was equally as insufferable. Though they were a bit more in sync with the music to which they were dancing, they made no attempt to hide the glee at their errors. They prattled around on stage with goofy smiles plastered all about their pre-adolescent gobs. Some of the dancers looked as if they had only learned their routines the day before, and frankly, it was at that point that I realized I had been severely cheated out of my 7 dollar admission price. I was secretly hoping that the storm outside would tear the roof off of the auditorium so that I could be fully refunded my ticket price, and an end would come to this travesty of modern dance. I was not so lucky.
Finally, ACWF’s cousin danced out on stage, and I’m sad to say, was no better than any of the other dancers we saw. At 5 years old you would figure that one year of dance lessons would be quickly absorbed and perfected. This day and age it seems like those would be high hopes. Though she was one of the best dancers in her group, she would have made any one with any semblance of rhythm wonder where the hell white people went wrong.
Overall, I encourage all to avoid this recital if it manages to travel outside of the school district unless they are heavily under the influence of drugs, alcohol, or some combination of the two.
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Actually, the recital was fun, for the most part, and all the kids were cute. However, we also got to see the high-school aged dancers, and I learned something that day. You can teach someone to find the beat and dance to it, and you can teach someone dancing to the beat to feel the rhythm, but you can’t teach people to dance with rhythm. It seems to be inborn, and it didn’t seem like many of the dancers that we saw had any. They looked robotic, like they were simply counting out their steps. It wasn’t pretty.
On the other hand, the youngest dancers were so hilarious to watch that I wished I was under the influence of something. They would all spin, and hop, and blow kisses, and so on, and it was hysterical. I couldn’t stop laughing at how cute they all were. I strongly recommend spending a few bucks to see a recital like this if you need something to do while high.
