AnonymousCoworker

Kmart and I rolled out of the apartment at around 5:25 or so. We got to Club Charles a few moments later because it’s right down the street, and we drove.

Unfortunately, the bar wasn’t open. In all my research to try to determine the best place to have the happy hour, I didn’t think to ask when the damn bar opened. Idiot!

Luckily the bartender (who was the friendliest bartender that I’ve ever seen in my entire life) let us in about 10 minutes til 6. Far be it from him to keep a boozehound from his, uh, booze.

Anyway, Kmart and I grabbed some buck fifty Yeunglings and settled in. A few moments later Fool wandered in, and shortly thereafter, Amanda.

She was quickly followed by (I believe) Zenchick, Linda, and Jwer. Whom had barely settled when Jason, and Snay made it in (after a brief bout of lookingforaparkingspaceitis on Snay’s part). Then it became a bit of a blur.

Messy Hair Girl, eebmore, and Cara all rolled up, grabbed beverages, parked in a seat, and started chatting. I think Textureslut came in somewhere around that point as well.

A few others may have drifted in and out, but by that point I was well beyond being able to keep track. Just too many people.

As a group we were amoeba-like, floaty, and having an all around good time. I am consistently (if something can be consistent after having occurred twicely) surprised at how easily groups of semi-strangers can interact. I think I spoke with just about everyone for a few minutes, if not longer.

As best I can tell, my conversations went from work, to zombies, to food and drinks, to zombies, to houses in Baltimore, to zombies, to drinks, to weddings, to the art in the bathrooms, to zombies, to vodka, to houses in Baltimore, to work, to vacations, to Harry Carey, and then we were home.

I had a good time, and I hope everyone else did as well. I now know of a few more blogs that I’m going to try to hit on a regular basis. Looking forward to the next one!

P.S. Snay and Fool- post some pictures up on your joints!

P.P.S. Just no pictures of me like we talked about, right? Right!? What, is $20 not enough? You want blood!? Is that what you want from me? You want me to bleed? Fine. FINE! Now I’m bleeding on your extortion money. Are you happya lak a[a [p’
af[5
2 f

3451a=–a

UPDATE: Thanks also to Snay for the beer. He’s a real upstanding guy, that one.

I hate chit chat. There’s an old saying, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” I clearly don’t live by that saying, but one that I would like everyone to live by is, “If you can’t say anything interesting, don’t say anything at all.”

I’m tired of conversations about the weather people! Reach out. Take a risk. Be honest.

This morning, as I was walking into work, I ran into one of my coworkers- someone whom I don’t see much of because our jobs are so different- and I greeted her.

She asked me how I was doing, and I explained that I was in a good mood, that I had gone out the previous night with some friends, and that I was looking forward to the weekend.

She mentioned how nice the weather was.

I explained how I was worried about my fiance (she’s got some sort of viral-pneumonia-esque thing going on) and that I’m not sure where she got whatever she has.

She mentioned the weather again.

Fer chrissakes lady! I know, it’s nice outside. Now, maybe you could say something else?

And I totally understand when people don’t want to reach out to their coworkers. Frequently, I don’t want to. But when that happens, I just don’t say anything. They’ll say, “Hi” and I’ll say, “Hi” and it will end at that. If they decide to continue talking, I’ll engage them in conversation, UNLESS they decide to make idle chat.

Try something new today, or tomorrow. If someone asks you how you’re doing, tell them. You’ll either keep them from asking you anything ever again, or you’ll open yourself up to a less superficial relationship with that person.

But please, for the love of everything that is interesting, don’t engage in chit chat.

I have nothing to say.

Win magical prizes* for answering these questions correctly. Also, prove yourself smarter than the majority of people I commute with in the morning.

1) When making a left turn, you should turn from the ____ lane.

2) When waiting at an intersection where the traffic in front of you is backed up all the way to the other side of the intersection, you should, or should not, pull into the middle of the intersection when the light turns yellow.

Any of you winners yet? All of you? Great. I wish you commuted in Baltimore.

Also, last night while Kmart and I were watching “Kissing Jessica Stein” we heard some sirens. That’s not out of the ordinary, so we didn’t get up. But I always watch the way the lights hit the windows to try to determine which way the po-po is a ramblin’. This time, the sirens didn’t get any quieter, and the lights stayed in the same place.

I jumped up and looked out the window. There were about 4 cop cars blocking the intersection, and one of the cops had his weapon drawn and was pointing it at a guy who was standing about 5 feet away. The guy had his hands up.

All of a sudden, the cop walks away from the guy. The guy stood there with his hands up for a minute, and then he just walked away down the street.

Then about 5 or 6 more cop cars rolled up, including the paddywagon and what looked to be a commissioner-level officer.

All in all there were about 10 cop cars, and we saw 9 cops arresting one guy. And they were all fat. I guess all the skinny, athletic cops were inside the house they were raiding, but probably not, because a few minutes later all the fatties drove away, and all the cop cars were gone.

*Actual magicality of prizes not certified by an accredited magicologist. See official rules and regulations for details. Oh, who are we kidding? It’s a unicorn!**

**By “unicorn” I mean “you win nothing”. Nothing!