While shopping in a store with my trifling ho fiance, my brother, and his imported wife, I stumbled across an educational Christian section.
It wasn’t the type of materials you would use to educate kids ABOUT Christianity, but instead was teaching and educational materials with Christianity infused into it. For example, in the Math book, one of the problems was, “If Jesus has 10 fishes, and 10 loaves, and he has 20 lepers to feed, how much fish and loaves does each leper get?”* or in the Science book, there were lots of allusion to the Bible.**
Anyway, next to all that junk was the stickers. And the stickers were what really made me think that I wasn’t the heathen after all.
There were these cross stickers, and Bible stickers, and other crazy crap. Nothing like the symbol that represents the inhuman torture and humiliation of your deity turned into a sparkly sticker for finishing all your homework! Or how about the shiny, sparkly sticker that says “Self control”? Gosh, I’d be so excited to have one of those self control stickers, but then I wouldn’t have any self control, and would have to spend 20 minutes in the flagellation corner.
I’ll take this old crap any day.***
*Answer: None. He wiggles his nose and SHAZAM! everybody eats McDonalds! Plus, the leprosy is gone. He’s J to the C bitches!
**Just kidding, there was no Science book.
***What the hell does a Mr. T scratch and sniff sticker smell like anyway? Gross!
