Any of the crazy-ass, know-nothing, dumber-than-a-pile-of-noodles relationship specialists will tell you that communication is the foundation for a strong relationship.
After that, pretty much everything that comes out of their mouths is crap.
Communication is the key to not just ANY relationship, but EVERY relationship. If you don’t tell someone what you’re thinking, or if you don’t tell someone that something is bothering you, how are they supposed to know?
“Well, I didn’t say anything for fifteen minutes, and I rolled my eyes, so that should have been enough to get the message across.”
No, stupid, it wasn’t. You’ve got a mouth, use it.
I can’t stand it when people are passive aggressive. I can’t stand it when someone has a problem with what I’m doing at work, or something like that, and they don’t let me know about it. Damnit! Speak up!
If I park my car on your foot, you’d say something. If I punched your child in the face, you’d say something. If I forcibly inserted my foot into your anus, you’d say something. Why not say something to PREVENT those things from happening?
Anyway, early morning tirade on passive-aggressiveness aside, I recently realized that I was the same way. I used to clam up, and not say anything when stuff would bother me. Where did it get me? Annoyed. What did I do about it? I stopped.
While dating ACWF, I’ve always told her exactly what was on my mind, if she asked. It’s led to some pretty weird responses. For example, if we’re driving, and I’m idly staring out the window, and I see an ad for the “Fat Albert” DVD, I might think of Bill Cosby, which might make me think of pudding, which might make me think of the “pudding skins” episode of Seinfeld, which might make me think of how the editor of my high school newspaper wrote an editorial on Seinfeld, which might make me think of how the editor’s best friend was the older brother of the valedictorian of my class, which might make me think of the time I saw the valedictorian going into a porno store as I was driving by.
Maybe, just around that thought, ACWF will ask me what I’m thinking about, and I’ll honestly have to respond that I was thinking about the time I saw our class valedictorian going into a porno store, and how I leaned out the window of my car and said, “I see you [Firstname Lastname]! I see you!”* That’s open communication.
*Though I don’t think it shameful at all for people to want to look at other nekkid people gettin’ it on, and actually believe that if it was a little more socially acceptable we might all get along better, this guy was a real stick in the mud, and thought himself quite superior to the rest of us. I was just pointing out to him that he was human like the rest of us. Incidentally, he ran into the store, not away from it.
