Archive for April 8th, 2005

Blogging has overtaken my life

Published
by
Anonymous Coworker
on April 8, 2005 @ 2:08 pm
in uncategorized
. Closed

Sometimes, I’ll see people walking around, and it looks like they think that they look FANTASTIC. I, on the other hand, think they look like crap. I wonder if they go back to their blogs and say, “I looked like hot stuff today, everybody was looking at me,” when the reality is that people were leering.

There are a few problems with this train of thought. For one, I have no idea about whether or not any of these people have blogs. It’s so self-consuming, that I figure blogs are like telephones- everyone has one. Second, I have no idea what other people are thinking.

Which brings me to my next point. We have no idea who anonymous bloggers are. I know their personality, or at least I think I do, but I couldn’t be sure.

For example, I probably come off as a grouch most of the time. In real life, I’m actually quite friendly, though equally as likely to not take any bullshit. In the blog it’s more socially acceptable for me to call people out on their dumbness. In real life I have to use “tact” and “manners”. I don’t have to worry about that when I blog.

The other thing is, I may not be like that in real life at all. I could be a huge liar, and everything I’ve ever written could be fanciful. Perhaps I’m just a fictional embodiment of Kmart, and the Kmart blog is my real blog.

Or, perhaps I’m crazy, and I don’t really work anywhere, and I don’t really have any friends, and I’ve made it all up.

What if?

Are you all crazy, and I’m the only sane one? Are you all figments of my imagination? Have you been reading my blog, and I’m actually crazy, and I don’t know it, but neither do you? Or maybe you do, and you’re just patronizing me.

It’s hard to really know who we are behind the masks, and it’s hard to get a good perception of anyone else when we’re all wearing masks. I’m not suggesting we do anything about it. I just was thinking about things is all.

Now I know what drove Ted Kaczynski insane

Published
by
Anonymous Coworker
on April 8, 2005 @ 12:02 pm
in uncategorized
. Closed

Just as I was lauding the benefits of using Haloscan over boring old, bumbled up, Blogger comments, Haloscan goes and breaks on me.

Meanwhile, Blogger is still being a fucktard, and via Jason J. Thomas, here’s an article about that from Wired.

What’s my beef? A shitty product is a shitty product. I don’t care if it’s free, or if you have to pay for it. When someone signs on to a service, a service should be delivered. Google, and Google through Blogger, earns revenue through advertising. They sell ad space in the hopes that we put the ads on our blogs. They use us as billboards, but don’t really seem to give a god damn if the system goes down.

What the fuck Google? You used to be cool.

The Doorduck

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Anonymous Coworker
on April 8, 2005 @ 10:47 am
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When I came into work this morning, I noticed something strange. There was a large duck standing by the door I use to get into the building. Normally, it wouldn’t be at all odd to see dozens of geese in the grassy area around the building where I work. However, a duck was a bit out of place.

I approached the door more slowly than I usually would, and tried to gauge the duck’s demeanor. The duck looked at me, and shuffled on her feet a bit, but didn’t back down.

Once I was within about 10 feet of her, she leaned forward a bit, fluffed up her feathers, and let out a little quack. Then, she stood back up again, flattened her feathers, and looked at me expectantly.

I continued my approach, and the duck was unfazed. She was about two feet to my left as I reached for the door and opened it. I wondered if the duck would bolt inside the building. Would I have to call security? Animal control? Who would catch a duck trapped inside the building?

But the duck didn’t move. She stood there, watched me enter as the heavy door closed behind me, and then went back to her post, looking for the next person to enter the building.

Interstate Travel

Published
by
Anonymous Coworker
on April 8, 2005 @ 9:19 am
in uncategorized
. Closed

Because of Baltimore’s proximity to the I-95 corridor, it’s not uncommon for me to see out of state plates on cars as I go to or from work, or to or from ACWF’s place.

Typically I see many Pennsylvania, Virginia, New Jersey, Delaware, Ohio, North Carolina and New York tags. Less frequently I’ll see Indiana, Illinois, South Carolina, Georgia, Kentucky, Tennessee, Maine, Vermont, New Hampshire, Connecticut, or Rhode Island. I don’t really see much of the other states, but they do come through. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen every plate in the union in Maryland.

The weird thing is, when I see the plates, I start making up stories for people, or try to determine where they are going.

As an example, if I saw Virginia plates going southbound on 95, I’d probably expect someone was going home after a recent trip. But if I saw plates from Maine, as I did last night, heading southbound, I would be forced to make up a story.

In this case, the car was full, and it was a suped up Cavalier* heading south. The passenger was a woman much older than I would have expected to see in such an automobile, and I couldn’t get a look at the driver.

Still, my mind went right to work. They had relatives in Florida who had just been jailed for looting houses after the recent tornadoes swept through. They would have sent money via Western Union or something like that, but it would have taken too long to get down there. They figured it would only take about 30 hours to drive, so they just piled in the car and started moving. By the time they got to Maryland, they had been driving for 15 hours or so, and were none too happy at the prospect of another 15 hours of driving. So they pulled off 95 and made for the closest Denny’s to get something to eat.

At that point I pulled away from them and headed on my own route home (which was, by the way, rudely congested with Orioles fans. Get out of the way ya bastards! I don’t have time for you to figure out what the strange lines painted on the street, or the multi colored lights switching from green to yellow to red, mean. Go home. We don’t want your kind around here. And when I say “kind” I mean tourists.) content to let the travelers from Maine fade from my memory.

*Even if you put $10,000 worth of detailing into a Cavalier, at the end of the day you still have a shitty car with a four-banger engine. Why not just spend the money on a car with a V-8?

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